One thing that kept me going in badminton, is because I held on to a dream which I couldn't accomplish in the past.
***
Back in Form 2, me and my "friend" went for badminton competition. We both train hard to play for the school but we weren't professionals. We were just normal "street" players.
My teacher choose my friend instead of me to play badminton singles. I was okay with it at first (I became the sub). However, after seeing the performance of the first match between a "not-so-good player" VS my "friend". It was a total let down because my "friend" didn't take the game seriously, and she's obviously better than her opponent. However, SHE LOST in the end.
From that onwards, I held on to that dream (or is it grudge? :/) to be in a badminton competition. To CRUSH my opponent and not let that badminton incident happen again.
And, finally, that day has come.
***
There were a total of 6 teams (including my team) that took part in the badminton competition. I took part in the women badminton singles. Amy was actually playing for singles but I had to replace her. I played for women doubles as well. My partner was Alex's sister, Dorinna.
The first match was against 'Bubdy'. I manage to get through without any difficulty. I was lucky for the first match. However, I knew that I won't be that lucky at the second match because I knew my opponents would be better than me.
Second match was against 'Inconva'. I lost quite badly. My opponent made me run around and I find it hard to attack her back and as well as making my opponent run.
The third match was against 'BISDS'. I lost this one too. I didn't lose badly but it's obvious that my opponent was better than me.
In the end, I lost the chance on getting the bronze medal for singles. But I manage to win back a bronze for women doubles. And again, it was just pure luck.
***
Even though that I had lost, I feel a sense of achievement. I wasn't aiming to win, I was aiming to have that same experience that my "friend" did a long time ago. I have been longing for this feeling for a very long time, and it felt very good. I had learn and experience a lot that day and I will never forget that.
Then again, I would like to thank D2YC for giving me that chance to play for the team (even though I lost :S). And I would like to thank them for giving me that experience. =)
I spend most of the time being alone. It's not a very sad thing as I find it very beneficial to me. Whether I'm walking, standing, waiting, etc. Whenever I'm alone, I will go deep into thoughts. It's the best time for me to reflect on the things I did.
3 things I will usually reflect on.
Past.Present.Future.
Firstly, I will think about myself.
The things I did in the past. The things that I've achieved. And the things that I can do to push myself further.
Secondly, I will think about my family.
The events that had occurred in the past. My current family situation. And the things that I can give to my family in the future.
I will also think about my friends/colleagues/teachers/lecturers.
I think about the things that made them happy. I will think what's good for them.
I will also reflect on the things that my teacher/lecturer had taught that day. Whether the teachings are correct or incorrect? Whether it will be useful in the future?
Lastly, I will think about the society's well being and the planet.
What can I do to contribute to the society? What can I do to help the people who are in need? How to make a difference in the society? Where can I start?
***
I don't think it's really a meditation process. Many say it is but I'm pretty much sure it's an early stage of self-actualization. I'm not quite there yet, it's still a long way to go. Which requires more worldly knowledge and strong sense of spiritualness.
I will, one day, be a spiritually strong person based on my own beliefs.
A full-time marketeer, a part-time swim teacher, and a newbie duo-athlete. She is just your ordinary-average Chinese Malaysian in seeking the real meaning of happiness and life. But she has a little secret....
