Recently, I met up with her, after like... 1-3months or so? I'm not really sure, I was too busy in my events and studies that I didn't really keep track of time. The time where I usually spend some quality time with the girls. The usual busy me, something which I don't really like myself anymore.

So, I met her. I saw her. Sitting on a familiar guy's lap, arms around him.
It's my first time seeing her with a guy.
Oh, him? Yeah. I met him before. Definitely. I knew they were together.

She saw me. Yeah, she definitely did.
But instead of her coming to hug me (or maybe I was reminiscing too much? lol), she didn't even bother to stand up to give a proper greeting, or... not even a hug? Even after 1-3 months for not meeting up?

She'd changed. Definitely. Her behaviour and all.
She's the same old girl that I know, but not the same girl that I recognize. Anymore.


Seeing her sharing her life with another part of hers, makes me sad yet happy for her.
Not sure which came first. I guess it was sadness.

I definitely saw it coming, but it came too soon. Maybe I wasn't ready yet?
Sad, because she won't be sharing her problems with me anymore.
(Well, actually, she stop sharing since we entered Uni... Hmm...)
Mesmerizing the times where we shared our darkest, deepest secrets together.
Our feelings. Our thoughts. Our opinions. Our complains.

Sad, because I won't be the main reason she finds and spends much quality time with me anymore.
The times where we usually hangout in our usual shopping mall, MidValley.
Shopping. Teasing. Bullying. Pushing. Laughing.

Sad... because I won't be there for her anymore.


Yet, I'm happy for her.
That she finally found the right one (or so to say).


As we grew up in life, people walk in and out in our lives.
And sadly to say, we usually walk out of our friend's life once they have found their right partner.
Not completely out of our lives, but sometimes friends do keep in touch, but it's not as often as you usually do anymore. They'll be busy taking care of their children, house chores, preparing meals, working, etc. Hence, leaving not much time for friends.

I watch my mother as she sleeps, and I wondered, whether she still meet up with her closed friends anymore.
I doubt that she did. Seeing her work everyday, barely spending much time with us at home. She only has us, her children.


I'm not sure whether you're still reading this now. But if you do, I just wanna let you know, that you'll always be my friend. Through ups and downs that we've been through all these years, and even if I didn't spend much time as we usually do after we've entered Uni, you're still my trusted friend.

I hope you're happy with him. As he'll be taking part of my job, as his job, to comfort, scold, laugh, talk, cry, and cheer you up. May the both of you be happy always being together, to overcome ups and downs together, etc.

Now's the time, where I'm leaving you to walk your own path, together with him.
I've gotta let you go, and move on with my life. But just to let you know, that I'll always be there for you when you need me, to my dear friend, Sara Nui Kuan Yee.

I can't believe another year has passed, when it actually felt like it was just a few months ago when I just won my first competition: MTV Exit Bold Lipstick. Year 2012 has been a remarkable year for me. Where at this stage, I've experience a lot of failures, hardships, success, conflicts, and whatnots. It is indeed a busiest year for me, and it is predicted to be so in the next few years of my career life.

Dear Diary,

My first letter and picture from my family that they've sent to me during the camp.

What my guardian angel wrote

No. I didn't went for the rally this year, although as much as I wanted to experience it, I was scared to go alone.

I saw and read the news feed in Facebook. In my opinion, I don't really think this year's Bersih rally is a peaceful one. I saw people damaging the wires at the Dataran Merdeka and I felt really unhappy about it. If the authorities doesn't want to let the protesters in than don't go in lorh. Why must 100% go there merh? I mean, it's nothing special also. Just one big plot of land.

And Najib on the other hand also another big problem. I saw him on the news giving his speech, saying that he will give the protesters a place to gather at, which is Dataran Merdeka. And then, another moment he say the protesters will spoil the land. The next moment, he mention giving free water and free food if the protesters need it. And the next moment, wanting to let the protesters have their peaceful rally again.

I mean, what's his problem man? If want to let us have a peaceful rally, what's with the tear gas and water canon larh? What's with the road blocks larh? Make up your mind please!!


This year's Bersih 3.0 wasn't a peaceful one. I saw people throwing empty water bottles at a police car, and I think the driver inside was trying to escape from the people throwing stuff at the car. The driver kinda like lost his patience and press the accelerator, lost control of his car and ran into 2 protesters. If I'm not wrong, there were 2 people inside the car. The protesters kinda like drag one of the driver out from the car and beat the crap out of him. The second driver was pulled out safely, making sure he was okay. Then, out of nowhere, the car was overturn pulak.

In my opinion, they shouldn't have beat the poor guy larh. Just detained him and turn him into the police lorh (even if he's the police). And why need to overturn the car lerh? I know it's the police fault for hitting the 2 protesters but there is no need to overturn the car right? Or is there nothing better to do than to overturn the car?

I shall not type anything further regarding about this matter as I wasn't there to experience it, so I wouldn't know how things were like over there. Do forgive me and correct me if I have made any false facts, but mainly it's just my opinion. Peace.


I'm really glad some of my friends made it home safe and sound. I really do pray to those who were injured during the rally to have a fast recovery.

Lastly, I'm really proud of those who had attended the rally today. Especially to those who weren't so "SAMPAT" and go on destroying public things. You are the true heroes of Malaysia.

And yes, 3 months of holiday-ing is over. Things have come to an end, which includes my job as well.

So, hello to University and stress again!! That kind of feeling you get when you go to Uni. It feels kinda good, like a fresh new start in life.

Studying in University is like having STPM every 3 months. It's like mind-fucking you. And by the end of every 3 months, you'll be so beat up you can just drop dead. And you're gonna repeat this process for the next 3 years or so. So sien right?

I know. But, what to do. If you want a future, you have to work hard to earn it.

Sien. I'm so looking forward for my internship, I think. But let's hope I won't fail anymore subjects. =.=

Working as a waitress/waiter is tiring enough, and the the only thing you look forward to is tippings from customers. However, not every customers are nice enough to tip you (life's hard buddy). .

Woke up this morning with puffy eyes. Still a bit stunted of what had happen yesterday.

Went to work as usual, my feelings and emotions had finally settled down. Finally learnt how to accept the things the way they are.

Now, I'm quite certain on what I want, and I'm going to be straight-forward with everyone and everything.

If I can handle fussy customers and nuisance customers, then I should be able to handle my members and my people.

BE A BOSS MOU?!

I'm really worked up.

Working as a part-time waitress and being a president for a orphanage outing which is due to be at the end of March. Committees not giving their support, all not coming for meeting, etc.

This is my first time doing this event, and I admit it's totally mind-fuck. So, I'm sitting down in front of my computer and bawling like a baby while typing this post out.

I'm really stress. I'm suffering the same stress as the one during D2YC 2011, while I was struggling with my exam and my secretary job.

I think about it everyday. EVEN when I go to sleep, I also think about it. When I go to work, I also not happy. I worry too much, which makes my job really sad. My workers look at me also don't want to talk to me, because I look miserable and trouble.

I'm so miserable these days. I don't even know how to describe it. I thought of giving up and throwing all my responsibilities away. Sometimes, the word "suicide" also comes to my mind, but it's incredibly stupid to do it. My emotions is taking over me and I can't help it. It's clouding my mind and I can't think carefully.

I'm seriously looking forward to the end of March.

I just want to end everything.

Just recently started a new job as a waitress in a cafe. They are paying RM6 per hour, which is quite a descent salary for part-timers. This is the 6th day I have been working there.


This is an one and only cafe in whole Malaysia. Thus, there are 5 boss (foreigners) who are in charge of this cafe!!! That's like, HOLY CRUTZ?!


Compared to Pizza Hut, the working environment here is so much different than Pizza Hut. At first, I find it quite hard to cope with the change of environment on my first day of work, but than I got used to it and I fell in love with it!!


The reason why I like the environment here is because they provide so much freedom for the workers here!! They can do what they want to do, as long as they WORK. It is less systematic, thus workers can work in their own comfortable way. They can make their own drinks, but not the so-very-expensive-ones. All the waitress/waiters are the cashier themselves. Compared to Pizza Hut, the cashier is only in charge of withdrawing/exchanging money, other workers are not allowed to do any cashing out.


Another reason I like working here is because of the workers. They know when to work, and when to play. They know what and whom to prioritize first. They are willing to teach and help when you ASK THEM. My boss and managers here are very much caring and nice.


Hygiene and cleanliness is above average. Not much of the cleaning is needed. I do not need to wash plates, cups, and cutleries anymore. Yay!! :D


Lastly, more tips and better uniform!!! :D Ngeh! Ngeh!

Thus, there are more things that I actually like, but I am just too lazy to write it all in detail.
I think......

I fell in love with my job! =)