I wish... I wish time could just stop. I wish everything could just stop for a moment while I try to engulf myself with all these thoughts and feelings I have that has happened to me for the past 12 months. But time waits for no one, and the truth is....... even if time had stop, my thoughts wouldn't, and it wouldn't leave me until I do something about them.
*
So here goes the list of the 21 things I did while I was 21 years old:
* * *
1. Celebrated my 21st birthday and received the infamous golden key
To be honest, I wasn't expecting to plan for an official 21st birthday party because all my thoughts and energy were focused on studying for my final examination. But what my dad said, caused me to give a hesitating 'yes':
"When I was at your age, I didn't even have the opportunity to do such thing. You only turn 21 once, let's just make it a special one."
In the end, it was all planned out by him, with the help from my mom. This shows much they really love me as their daughter. Who needs a golden key, when all the freedom I had was already given by my parents since young?
2. Participated in BGF's Quidditch Games
Getting to fly..... erh... I mean... run around with sticks was one thing, but the joy of being outside in the sun, running around, getting mud-dirty, panting, was the best feeling I ever had. It's the main source of my happiness, and I wish I could still do this even when I'm much older later on.
3. Passed all my Finance subjects and maintained my average grades all above 60%++
FARKKKKKKK FINANCE!!! I've been waiting for so long just to say that, because I wanted to make sure I’ve passed them all before they start jinxing me! As you know, Finance is one of my weakest, challenging, stupidmotherfarker subject that I had to overcome in my university days. I had failed more times than you can ever imagine, and there was once I was at the risk of getting expelled. But all in all, I still maintain my grades and still holding on to the 2nd Upper that I’m aiming for. Basically, it had taught me a beautiful process of getting up when I was at the most bottom-pit of my university days. It was truly a remarkable experience, and I would say that it had taught me something greater that what it will teach me when I come out to work. Because you can’t afford to fail at work, you’ll get fucked BIG time. So if you ask me whether I regretted failing, I would say NO.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” – J.K.Rowling.
Here's some cheesy wedges for reading my complaints.
4. Drove to Penang for the first time
I wasn’t happy when my parents didn’t allow me to drive to Genting, but I understand that they were just concern with my safety. Actually, I was too, concern about my safety. So, instead, my dad allowed me to drive us back to our hometown for Chinese New Year. I learned the difference of driving in the typical city of KL and on an actual highway. I actually enjoyed driving on the highway, especially on the fast lane, because all cars will let you through. Unlike in KL, cars don’t let you through even when you flash or horn, you’re treated as if you don’t exist. #truestory
5. Became part of the organizing team of SMILEY Cookie Project
Probably thanks to IBYE/IBYF 2013, I was pulled in by Do Chan Wye into the team. It was a little confusing at first because of the different working environment and people, but I like it, and I still manage to work closely together with them. It was a simple but remarkable and meaningful project. :)
6. Participated in LeAD in Bangkok, Thailand
LeAD was one of the main changing factor that caused me to change the way I think about myself and the way I communicate with people. It was also my first time travelling to Thailand together with my fellow D2Y-ians, Amy Lim and Jonathan Khoo! But what caused me to change the way I work is because of this one person. During the last night of our activity, one of the Singapore participants personally approached me and wanted to talk to me about something. I already knew what it was going to be. My 6th sense feeling is very weird but very accurate. True enough, he personally gave me advice on how to build and develop myself.
“The reason why I’m telling this now, is because I may not be able to see you again after this. I got that feeling that you wanted to try. So I gave you the opportunity to be the leader,” said Chin Wu Feng. “But whatever I’m telling you now, I hope that you would do the same thing to someone in the future.”
And because of that, I started changing.
7. Found out more about myself
In the same event in LeAD, what impacted me the most was the Harrison Assessment that showed how different I was from other people. I felt that I was the odd one out, but I soon realized how important it is to have different people with different personalities in a team.
“No matter how different you are, you bring colours to the group,” said Bro.Mun Yee. “You just need to be a little more confident about yourself.”
After that event, I also found out that I hide a lot of things from a lot of people. I’m always a mystery to other people because I rarely talk about my thoughts, and feelings. I never knew that until now. Since then, I’m starting to express a little bit more about myself, but somewhere deep inside me, I still want to remain a mystery to many people, on many different levels.
8. Travelled to Korea and Shanghai!
Anyeonghaisayo! I’m not a big fan of Korea, and I never thought of traveling to Korea nor Shanghai. Until it happen……… But I was glad that it was a beautiful trip! The culture, people, lengzhais, products, food… everything! I even google up some random Korean words and tried using them on different people to see their reactions, but I didn’t know to reply them LOL. I even bought a kite and flew it for the first time in Shanghai, but I was caught by an officer. My trip to Korea and Shanghai was also one of the getaways to recover myself from a heartbreak, but at the same time to release and explore more about myself.
9. Gotten a part-time supervisor job at Selangor Turf Club
I was jobless for the last 3 months during my long semester break. It was a torture, but somehow I landed myself in a well-paid part time job with good experience, thanks to a friend who recommended me to her old job. Since then, I work every Friday nights. I have no problems handling the job and the people there, but it’s pretty depressing because it’s on a FRIDAY! I’ll never see Friday nights the same again, but for money and experience, I would do anything for it.
10. Met in a minor car accident for the first time
It was a scary experience and I swear it wasn’t my fault! When the incident happen, I couldn’t control my emotions and anger, and I started blasting everything out on the person. I was strongly defending myself because I knew I was right. But after the argument, I drove off. My hands and legs started shaking. And then, I cried, so badly. Because during that moment of the incident, I was actually dam scared. Sometimes, a person may look tough on the outside, but deep inside, she’s actually also scared.
11. Cook and fed the poor
I usually don’t cook, but when I do, I do it for charity and for goodwill. It’s something that you don’t really see or notice on the streets, until I saw hundreds of needy people queuing up before me, waiting to take their food. I’m glad that I’m so blessed and grateful for the food that I’m served today, at home or anywhere else.
12. Illegally ride a scooter in an LRT station
Used my scooter to commute from LRT Sri Petaling line to Kelana Jaya line. I received a warning from an officer, but once they were out from sight, I started speeding off with my scooter again. It was the best feeling ever to ‘walk’ faster than anyone else, even when everyone else was staring!
13. Drove an Audi TT
And the first person to ride it with me was Hoh Sheng Ying.
14. Received an anonymous confession
Surprise? Don’t worry, I’m more surprise as you are. But the truth is, I never knew that person. It’s a little disappointing. However, whether it was a prank or a real confession, it’s something that I’ll never know.
15. Won 'Best Speaker of the Week' and 1st Runner Up in BGF's Effective Speaking Course
I hesitated to join at first, mainly because of the fee, strict commitment, and the thought of competing with other speakers in the finale. I HATED the fact that I had to compete. And when I did, my ESC objective was to fully express myself (because I knew I was lacking in self-expression). I decided to focus on nothing else but improving myself and not on winning. However, during the 2nd week of ESC, when I realized that I’ve won myself the ‘best speaker of the week’ award, I was flabbergasted! Since then, I went all out until the day of the finale, not knowing what I get in return was bigger than what I thought! Not only did I won myself an award, but I also won myself a whole lot of confidence. And thank goodness for ESC! Because since after ESC, there were a lot of events that requires me to speak in public! *faints*
Here’s a video of me and my final speech during one of my pre-finals practice. To watch my actual final speech and thank you speech during the ESC finale, click here.
16. Had our first graduation class trip
I hadn’t graduate, yet. But all of my classmates already did, so must as well just tag along to celebrate together with them. I miss watching them fight, and seeing them throwing and howling at each other with ‘beautiful’ words. I guess, I’m just gonna miss all of them.
17. Travelled to Taiwan for the first time with my university friends
My fourth and final trip of the year, Taiwan! At the beginning, I was against the idea of traveling overseas because of the tight financial budget I had, but thanks to Sheng Ying and Zann, they made it possible for all of us to travel to Taiwan. I am deeply indebted to them, BIG TIME. They also became my Chinese translator and tour guide (because I couldn’t read Chinese *cries*). But nevertheless, I had a great time and I really enjoyed the mouth-watering-food, culture, hospitality, and shopping spree. I’ll miss the 4 of us together, but we’ll still see each other soon anyway…. and that’s because I owe them a lot of money. LOL.
Travelling had taught me a lot of things, things that I’ll definitely cherish and love for the rest of my life. You can read the summary of my experience over here.
18. Attended INCOVAR camp for the first time
Had been part of the organizing team in events, camps, and activities for the past few years. And for once, I just wanna feel like I’m a participant again. And I thought I would get away with responsibilities just for once, until we had to wash the toilets and plates T_T I still remember the main inspiration I wrote in camp, which was: to motivate and inspire others like how I inspire myself. It sounds so cheesy, but on a greater extend, I definitely did inspire a few people in camp, even my mentor himself. Even so, I’ll still continue doing it by teaching and mentoring others like how others had done the same to me.
19. Organized Camp-X: The Missing Link
In the past, I already took up secretary, treasury, logistics, media and publicity, and programs. And now finally, it’s camp manager. It was a challenging but well rewarding role, and there are a lot of things that I did so much better than in the past. However, there are still many things that I have to work on. I believe that there are things that I could have prevented it from happening, if only I could have follow my instincts and trust myself more with the things that I had already foreseen. Since then, I learned to listen to myself more often. I also learned how to disregard other people’s opinion if it doesn’t agree to my own logical reasoning or even my own gut feeling.
20. Became part of the organizing team of Buddhist Youth Fellowship Games (BYFG)
Back then in 2012, I planned to aim for bronze in badminton female doubles/singles in the next coming IBYFG, but sadly, that day didn’t come. However, never would I have known that I would be part of the organizing committee of BYFG’s comeback this year, and it was a remarkably big one! I was glad that I was part of this comeback, but I’m more looking forward to participating in the next games :)
21. Watched my friends graduate
I was supposed to be one of them, but I wasn’t one of them. Maybe not just yet. It was a mixture of emotions when seeing my friends graduate after me. I was sad upon not graduating, yet happy and proud of them for finally graduating. Oh well, it’s just a matter of time when I finally do. Because it’s not about how fast you finished, but how patient you are to wait for what you’re worth, and still obtaining the degree holder that you want. And I am on my way there!
* * *
Today, I turned 22.
