I can't do this. I'm so tired. I'm hungry, and I have a long day at work, and I don't think I can do this.

My inner voice spoke to me while I was swimming my way back from my 14th lap. My heart was beating too fast, and I didn't felt relax at all. What's wrong with me?

After this lap, I'm just gonna get out, shower and go back. Today is not my day.

Siew Lin, I know you're tired, but you can't quit. Another voice spoke to me. Let's have a deal. You swim freestyle 50m, and the balance you're allowed to finish it with a breaststroke.

Ok deal.

 

But that breaststroke didn't happen. Instead, I swam freestyle all the way, cheating my feelings and ignoring the physical pain and anguish, like how I would trick myself in every other training. Promising myself that that would be the last of my suffering, but only to make myself go through with more.

After reaching the end, I pull up my goggles and rest my left arm on the floating divider. I was panting too hard and was trying to bring my breath down before I continue the balance of my 1.3km swim. It was only 7.30pm, and I've been in the pool for only 45minutes. Let me emphasize the word, "ONLY" because I had to complete the balance set before 8.30pm.

I felt my friend on the next lane, was staring at me. He must be judging my strokes as he looks at me distinctly from a distance when swimming my way back. He advised me to bring my arms higher in the air, and sure enough, that was not what I did. That should be something that I should be doing, but my arms felt like I was lifting rocks. I know my strokes were all out of place after the 500m mark, and honestly, I couldn't care less. I was demotivated and tired.

"So tired." 

I threw out the words like a losing gambler throwing out his last deck of cards.

 Physically, I was tired. My arms were aching. My neck felt stiff. And my breath was not regulated as usual compared to my other swimming days. I should not have skipped that one punch man challenge that I was supposed to do yesterday. In actual fact, the challenge was quite helpful in maintaining my muscles strength.

My friend scoffed a little.

 "Then good luck to you."

That sounded a bit sarcastic from him.

"You better work hard lo. Don't forget you sign up for the 5km swim in November."

 "I think I'm starting to feel like I regret it. Why did I even sign up?"

"Hor. I don't know about you lo."

"Hey! You're the one who got me into this lo. I got peer pressured to join the 5km because of you leh. I've never even swam 2km before in my life lor."

"Haiya! Don't worry la. You can swim one."

"Of course I definitely can swim, just need a longer time to swim lo. Can't swim freestyle, swim breaststroke lo."

He nodded in silence as he stared into space. Maybe looking at the end of the pool.

Maybe the only thing I need right now is to be alone. To be convinced that I could do this by myself and not be bothered with the right techniques and timing.

Somehow I know that I can do it. But I just wish someone could go up to me and say "I know you can do it. You're good at whatever you're doing. If you had run two marathons, this is nothing to you! You're better off than me, and you're quite adventurous and brave to do such a thing! I know you're tired, but it's gonna be worth it. I have trust in you, and I believe you can do it."

If only someone could assure me and reminded me of these words. I would definitely keep going even though I was already tired in the pool.

27th November 2018

I woke up to the sound of the thunder. The clock dimly showed “6.10am”.

Loki barged in to my room and gave a sloppy kiss on my lips. My legs and arms were feeling slightly sore as I stretched to another comfortable position, also trying to move away from Loki’s sloppy kisses. The rain was beating down so heavily, that the noise outside the roof caught me awake for a little while before I dozed off. Not less than 10 minutes later, another sound of lightning greeted my ears. This time, it jolted me awake in my bed. The familiar sounds of the rain and lightning reminded me of something. It’s a bit weird for something like that to happen to me, but for sure, nothing like this is as normal for someone who joined the Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM). Because the first thing that came to my mind was the night I ran a marathon in a thunderstorm. 

* * *

Race Day

It was my 2nd attempt at a full marathon, and I wanted to complete this last leg of my running hobby at this iconic Penang Bridge before moving on to triathlon training. 

I couldn’t sleep much the night before the run. Despite a satisfying carbo load few hours before, the freezing aircond and bed-sharing with 2 more of my roomates on a King size bed is not something my body and mind was familiar with. Waking up 11.45am was also slightly too early for me, even when the flag off time was 1.30am. Even so, my roommates were all up and ready to head for war, while I was trying to convince my brain that I wasn’t sleepy. 

Few minutes before the flag off, I inch my way through the crowd to the front of the starting line (it was also my first time being so up closed to the starting line), passing through grandpa’s and grandma’s that looked like they have done this a million times and they can outbeat me anytime. This is it. My heart silently spoke to me. If this is your last, make it your personal best! My brain, on the other hand, was pretty logical. If you could make this your best, that Suunto Sparta Sport Watch will be yours! Sounds pretty convincing and rewarding right? 

BANG! 

My legs started to leap forward, one step after another.

And so, the race begins! 

The 42km Journey

At KM1- KM3, my heart and brain was still stuck with the “BEAT YOUR PERSONAL BEST” mindset. I was pacing myself with the 5:30 pacers. Yixuan on the other hand, disappeared through the crowd in front. My mind didn’t stay at the personal best mindset for long because at KM4, my heart was already cursing. WHERE ON EARTH IS THE WATER STATION?! My body knew this situation very well, as it clearly reminded it of Newton Challenge 2017. I also foresaw this to happen after hearing so many rumours about the water shortage from my friends who had joined PBIM before. Luckily enough, my body was trained during the last few weeks to not “die” when there’s no water. The air was still and slightly humid, and I was secretly hoping that it could rain. Nevertheless, I was still able to keep pace with the 5:30 pacers. 

At KM5, when I was almost at the brim of dehydration, the water station appeared! And it was really chaotic. 5k of dehydrated runners charged right at the water station, grabbing anything in sight to quench their thirst. Some even grabbing the whole bottle of 1.5 litre of water and run. Now I know why and how this water shortage problem exists every year. 

Between KM6-KM16, I tried to keep myself entertained by reciting the multiplication timetable while trying to stop myself from asking : WHERE THE HELL IS THE BLOODY BRIDGE?! I PAID TO RUN ON A BRIDGE, NOT A FREAKING HIGHWAY! But it only helped me until the fifth multiplication. I tried to think about my other aspects of life, like work, relationship, etc. but it seems like my life is all sorted out and had nothing much to think about. Lol. I had no idea how am I going to keep myself entertained till the end of the race, but I was literally screaming (in my heart) : NEVER AGAIN. NO MORE MARATHONS! 

Only at KM17.5, I finally stepped foot on the iconic Penang Bridge! It felt really magical and unbelievable. Some runners even purposely stopped to take a quick snapshot of the bridge, but me on the other hand, kept moving. I was really far behind from the 5:30 pacers, but I tried not to let the 6:00 pacers catch up to me. At this point, my foot was starting to slightly hurt, but I tried to not pay too much attention to it. I could hear a few thunders not far away, and the cloud seems much darker than the night sky. Somehow, I kinda regretted not making my wish cleared enough; because the rain looks like it was never going to stop. Sky, when I said I wanted it to rain, I meant to rain for a while, not all night!! 

At KM21, it really rained. Damn. This law of attraction theory actually works. But a few minutes later, the sky started pouring like it had lost control of its cloud bladder. The chilling rain made me more awake than ever, but the wind and the lightning made me slightly worried about my safety. Many runners started moving towards the Bridge divider, trying to shelter themselves from the rain and wind as much as possible. The rain only got heavier and heavier even until KM35, and it started to hurt like a motherfucker as if there was someone throwing rocks at you. It was so freaking cold that my nose started running as well. I had to run slightly faster to keep my body warmed up. One good thing about the rain though, that it didn’t made me feel dehydrated. In actual fact, I was too hydrated that I actually have to pee. I was thinking to pee while I ran, but my bladder system wouldn’t let and Mother Nature refuses me to do so as the rain started to slow down into a drizzle. Damn. Why do you always have to eavesdrop Mother Nature?! 

The rain and lightning never stopped until KM37, but most of the runners just kept moving. For runners at my pace, we were roughly running around 3hours in the thunderstorm. It felt like swimming, just that we were actually running, so I called it : Land Swim.

At KM37, I promised my legs that I would allowed it to walk after reaching this milestone, but I was really working hard to lose track of the 6:00 pacers. So I made another promise to my legs that I will reward it with a good massage after the run. It was still slightly drizzling, but the damage has been done as I was already all soaked in rain water. My iPhone 5C can finally rest in peace because it's far beyond savable looking at how soaking wet it is.

At KM40, the 6:00 pacers caught up to me. Fuck. Somehow, I regretted going to the loo earlier. Dammit. I should have just peed while I run! I could see buildings from afar but wasn't sure if it was the finishing point. Is that Queensbay Mall?! Why the flying fark it’s so farking far?! 

At KM41, fuckity fuck fark farrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkk! If you have heard of Aerosmith singing in high pitch, just imagine my foot was actually screaming in that same tone, just that it was done so in silence. My legs were fine, but my foot wasn't.

When I finally reached the finishing line, I was slightly disappointed that I missed my personal best by 1.52 minutes. I just wanted to take in the disappointment into my heart and mind, but the tiredness was more overwhelming than my disappointment. 

But what matters the most, is that I completed my 2nd full marathon injury free!

The full marathon squad with our finisher medals!

The medal can glow in the dark! Pretty cool! Ok lah, the additional RM10 for this is worth it.

* * *

Overview 

Overall, it was a very different experience completing this final leg of my marathon. Comparing to my first marathon, this experience was more memorable to me because :

1. There was a mixture of fear and worry during the run (due to lightning and hypothermia)

2. I was completing the race all by my own

3. First time in all my running experience, that I actually used a loo in a middle of the run

4. Completing the top 3 running events in Malaysia (SCMKL, PBIM, and KIM)

5. It was much harder to train prior to my 2nd attempt of full marathon

6. 2 weeks before the run, my favourite running shoe got stolen/missing which further demotivates me 

Looking back, I think my mind and body really deserve my salute and respect for braving through the sweat, rain, thunder/lightning, cold, demotivated feelings, and lost. Really salute and respect to all the runners out there who braved through the bad weather to complete the full marathon! And to the person who stole my running shoes, FUCK YOU. 

However, particularly for the PBIM experience, it’s a running event that is a must-try for all runners, but it’s not something that I would return to year after year. It’s an average budgeted event, not many water stations, and even their checkpoint wristband turns out to be a hairband. I mean, what am I supposed to do with the hairband after that, tie my hair? 

Below are my scores and verdicts on my whole experience : 

Price : ★★★★☆ 

RM100 for a full marathon experience on the iconic Penang Bridge is pretty much at the market rate. RM10 more expensive than SCMKL, but with the additional RM10 paid, I wish they could at least do better with their water stations. 

Race Pack Collection : ★★★★★ 

Unfortunately, I didn’t collect the race kit myself this time. So I trust that the process was good, if it wasn’t, my friends would have complained. Also, good because they have numerous RPEC dates to ease crowding and last minute collection. 

Set Up, Event & Program Flow : ★★★☆☆ 

Flagged off started on time, but this time no fireworks or confetti popping compared to previous years (that’s why I said, it’s so budgeted until that extend lol). However, at one point where it started raining heavily and there was lightning, there was no precaution given and no announcements were made to cancel the event. I was questioning myself how would the organizers deal with the situation if someone dies from lightning strike. It would be pretty bad. 

Additionally, finisher recovery collection booth was pretty bad. I was exhausted and my feet was pretty much in pain, but the collection was slow and we had to queue for at least 10-15 minutes to collect the finisher medal and goodie bag! The queue started out with 10 lanes, which ended up squeezing into 4 lanes, plus the marshal had to direct which lane goes first. I almost wanted to rage, and I knew there were a lot of impatient and exhausted runners feeling the same way as me because they were all getting pushy. 

Parking : ★☆☆☆☆ 

I think parking would have been extremely difficult that time round because all roads leading to Queensbay Mall are off limits. It’s either you come earlier or you walk farther, which is at least 5km away from the starting point. Plus, there is no shuttle bus to the starting line (previous years they have it). 

Running Route Difficulty : ★☆☆☆☆ 

Easy. Not much steep inclination. Out of 100%, there was only about 5% of incline which is the tip of the Penang Bridge. Even so, it wasn’t that difficult to run. 

Water & Carbo Stations : ★★★☆☆ 

They should really do much better in the water station. If it wasn’t for the rain, I think the dehydration would be much worse. They should put at least a few more stations during the beginning route (recommended for 1 water station for every 3km), so that the runner bodies won’t go into shock and caused a commotion in the first water station (which is at the 5km). I really pity the volunteers who were at the first water station, as all the thirsty runners were snatching and grabbing on to waters as if they were about to die. Plus, usually there would be a long stretch of table for runners to go to, but there were only 2 short tables, and everyone was cramming into the table for water. Carb station was good and abundant. Bananas and gels was also served. 

First Aiders : ★★★★★ 

Good! Almost every station has medics, and they even provide ice packs to all runners! ABUNDANT of ice packs (which is extremely rare and difficult to keep)!! 

Route Marshals & Volunteers : ★★★★☆ 

For them to be able to work under the rain and to serve the runners, I think that’s good enough for me. I saw one volunteer even giving out extra raincoats to the runners. Although not much excitement and encouragement like those cheerleading squads, they had done a pretty decent job on the road. 

Overall Rating : 3.25 / 5

* * *

On 8th April 2018, I completed my first Standard Chartered Full Marathon in 6 hours and 9 minutes. The event being held at Dataran Merdeka, was the 10th year anniversary of the biggest running event in Malaysia!

After being a Standard Chartered Marathon Kuala Lumpur (SCMKL) volunteer and booth exhibitor for the past few years, I was really excited to be part of the participants this time round!

After completing numerous half-marathons in 2017, I decided to up the challenge by completing my first full marathon this year! I wanted to challenge my mental and physical limits to know how much I can take. Thus, not only did I make that commitment, I also ended up pulling my partner along to join me in this crazy attempt to complete my first full marathon.

* * *

Training Days

Since it is my first full marathon, I told myself that I have to be very well prepared no matter what.

With that, I had to stay committed to all my weekly training. My training schedule is as below :

Monday - Rest Day

Tuesday - Swimming (Laps)

Wednesday - 10 - 15km run (min. must run 10km)

Thursday - Strength training

Friday - Swimming (Laps)

Saturday - Long run (21km and above; each week must increase 2 - 5km)

I even sacrifice my favourite badminton sport, and yamcha sessions from my regular routine :'(

Compared to other training days, I included swimming this time round as it helps relax the muscles and quickens the recovery. Giving less impact on the joints and also trains other micro muscles in our body.

Basically, I eat, sleep, breath training.

This is how serious I am in achieving my goal.

* * *

Motivation

To keep myself motivated, I made a few promises and bets with myself and some people.

If I failed to complete a marathon, I am responsible for :

1. paying back double of the race fee to my partner lol

2. treating all those who were involved in my bet to a meal

If I stay committed to my daily training and complete the marathon, I get to :

1. eat whatever I want, with my heart desire

2. eat 5 bowls of Snowflake

3. eat 10 bags of Mr.Potato Chips

4. 2 hour leg massage until I recovered 

5. sleep late and wake up whenever I feel like on a Saturday after the marathon

Well, mainly what motivates me the most are the food lol. The good thing about running a marathon, is that I don't have to have a strict diet because all those running will definitely burn those calories for good! Hehe...

* * *

Race Pack Collection Day

If there's one thing I like about the SCMKL RPEC (Race Pack Exhibition Collection), it's actually on their traffic system where you can check on the number of visitors collecting their race packs. You can see which timing has the most crowd during the race collection, and you can choose other times to collect instead! Saving you time and energy by avoiding the crowds and long queues on weekends!

And, did you know that most of the sports equipment and accessories are much cheaper during their exhibition? As an ex-booth exhibitor myself from many years for SCMKL, some of their sponsor partners sell cheap items as close to their cost price! I can say that  most of their exhibitors have the highest quality then many other sports events, so, don't miss the chance to purchase your favourite sports items!

* * *

Race Day

The D-day has arrived, there were alot of things going through my head, but I told myself to save it for the run later. I made sure I wore and ate nothing new, and only stick to something I'm comfortable with. I was slightly anxious, but yet, excited!

At 3.30am, all the respective runners were walking towards Dataran Merdeka. And because it was my mistake to register under the Pen5 category, we had to queue all the way to the back together with the 7.15 pacers! The 7.15 pacers were better know as the runner sweepers, because any runners running behind them, will be swept away by the sweeper bus and no finisher entitlements will be given to them.

The 7.15 Pacers! They'll be the only people who you'll start running lol

The loud booming music elevated my heartbeat, making me even more excited to start the race as soon as possible! And at 4.00am, the full marathon category was flagged off!

I remembered looking up at the sky, while little pieces of coloured confetti papers was sprinkling in the air, brushing across my skin as I ran pass the starting line. It was a very memorable sight. I felt blessed and alive to be attempting the biggest race of my life!

Me & My Partner at The Starting Line!

The first 10km during the run was a breeze. I believe I was having the runners high, because I was feeling high and mighty since after the flag off. We ran past through the quiet city area in KL. Even the people at the bars and clubs came out to cheer for us too! It was a very exciting moment to see this. There was slight inclination at the city area, but it didn't bother me much. I tried to keep up with the 6.00 pacers, but they were going faster than my comfortable pace. Not wanting to risk myself from getting worn out and tired in the early miles, I decided to follow my own pace instead.

At 15km onwards, we slowly start to exit from the town area to the highway. Hills were starting to get more frequent along the way, but I was still in good condition, trying to stretch once in awhile at each water station. The air was cold and it gets really chilly but I kept telling myself : "Put one foot right in front of another!" ; "Good stride! good stride!" to keep myself going. The sun has started to rise, and I'm starting to feel I'm missing my bed, alot.

When the sunrise shines brighter than the finishing line

After 21km onwards, the crowd seems to be slightly dispersed as many runners started walking after this point. For them to walk to the finish line is still possible for them to finish before the cut off time, but for me, I can't accept the fact that I have to walk another few more hours to go home, so I had to overtake many walkers along the way. At certain junction and intersections, we were merge with the 21km category runners too. Because of this, I felt slightly frustrated because the walkers were hogging the road. Instead, they should be walking at the left side (but I guess they're probably too tired to move). But anyhow, I used the situation to my advantage by convincing myself to target one person and overtake them one-by-one. I was trying to keep myself entertained lol.

At this point, my kneecap starts to hurt due to the famous "runners knee". Fortunately, the pain is not as severe as my ITB syndrome from my last Newton Challenge Run. It occurred right above my kneecap area, called the Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, causing pain when running uphills. Since it's just a minor pain, I mustered all my courage to keep on running till the end.

Also, came across a lot of motivational message signboards along the way. It was a pretty good reminder for the runners to keep going! My most favourite quote from the run was : "Pain is temporary, Facebook post is forever!" and "Who needs toenails anyway!".

Not sure if there's really a hill in front, or I'm hallucinating lol

The Infamous Tunku Ismail at 33km onwards which was mentioned to be the toughest by most experienced runners

Me & My Partner Crossing the Finishing Line

My and my Finishing Medal & T-Shirt

Post Marathon
(3 Days Later)

Today's the third day of my post-run recovery since my first full marathon at Standard Chartered Marathon KL 2018. My muscles and legs seems to be recovering well since there weren't any serious injury from the marathon.

My thoughts and feelings? Depressing.

I didn't know my life after a marathon could have so much emptiness, or in my case, can cause a minor depression (they also call it post marathon blues).

My post marathon blues is also much blue-er than my Monday working blues.

It is that serious! Not kidding!

You may read more on my post marathon depression here.

* * * 

Overview

All in all, Standard Chartered Marathon Kuala Lumpur is one of the best international marathon in Malaysia. Considering one of the most highly anticipated sports events in Malaysia, it is well organized, and one of the best choic for people who wants to experience their first Full Marathon. No other sports events in Malaysia have such high standards and resources to organize this big event, plus they have organized it for 10 years, each year, improving on their planning and execution.

Below are my scores and verdicts on my whole experience :

Price : ★★★★★

Given that it's a well organized and quality run, it is still considerable for a International Marathon run. Price is not a problem because even if you're not willing to pay RM90 to join a Marathon, other people are willing to do so knowing that SCMKL has the best quality run. The high price eliminates 'kiamsiap' (stingy) participants as well.

Race Pack Collection : ★★★★★

Good and organized! The organizers provided a traffic chart to indicate the number of runners collecting their race packs, participants can choose the time with lesser waiting time and queue to collect their goodies. Signages to the RPEC was clear and obvious, and there was good traffic control. The exhibition also consists of alot of other sport merchants with their attractive low price goodies. Even if you're not a runner, it's also worth to visit to grab their promotional items.

Set Up, Event & Program Flow : ★★★★★

Everything on the traffic flow was very well controlled by the police and authorities. Roads were fully closed exclusive for SCMKL runners which made it safer to run. The authorities also pulled aside some motorbikes and cars, allowing runners to run pass first.

All Pen entries were also well managed and controlled by the volunteers, making sure that the right participants enter the right pen. Signages and event tents were well positioned, avoiding crowding and human traffic jams. Flag offs were made on time.

Parking : ★★★★☆

SCMKL offered FREE LRT rides (from certain stations) to the race location. Thus, helping to reduce car congestion and difficulty in finding parking for participants. One star is missing because it was difficult to find entry near to the race area for those who wants to drive there.

Running Route Difficulty : ★★★★☆

Many of the past SCMKL runners mentioned that 2018 route is much harder than previous years. Even one of the pacers I met told me it was the hardest too. Unfortunately, I can't give a comparison verdict since I have not participate in previous SCMKL run, so I can only judge based on the elevation of the route. To me, the only challenging route was 33km onwards as the inclination was really really frequent. For those who have not trained regularly on hills and slopes will find it quite difficult to cope.

Water & Carbo Stations : ★★★☆☆

Very good! They even included power gels too in two of their stations! However, one star missing because the first carbo station with bananas were all finished! Runners who are slow or who are struggling at the back may find it difficult to re-fuel their energy, thus chances of them of hitting the wall may be high.

Water stations are very frequent every 2km. Abundance of isotonic drinks and water are served, however the position of them serving the water first before the isotonic drinks are not very preferred in my opinion. I would usually rinse my mouth and throat with water after an isotonic drink to prevent myself from getting thirsty due to the sugar content in the isotonic.

The first water station was very chaotic, many runners have to grab the cup and pour the drink themselves because the volunteers were all busy. Maybe can consider having more tables or drinks prepared ahead before the flag off, or volunteers should standby batch by batch to serve.

First Aiders : ★★★☆☆

Plenty of first aiders across all the stations, but, alot of muscle sprays or cream already used up. Not that I need them anyway, but SCMKL provided few pain relief spray stations along the way. However, the spray station team was not obvious because they were either all hiding at the tents, or just couldn't see them at all due to the colour of their T-shirts (they were all wearing green shirts, same colour as the volunteers. So at many point, I was wondering why this water station need so many volunteers lol).

Route Marshals & Volunteers : ★★★★☆

Besides the cheerful passerby's, Mamak waiters, and bar people, it is the most blessing and touching moment to know that outsiders were also a big supporter of the runners too! Some of them served watermelons at one of the highways, and some even served extra water station at runners at the 33km mark (Tunku Ismail).

Really loved the supportive atmosphere, just that the feeling of support comes individually instead of a group cheer.