After being through what I thought was the worst and life-changing year after my surgery, I’m not sure what else should I be excited about.
I spent my 28th year feeling withdrawn from society. I didn’t want to progress and move forward with my life. I wished things could be like the first MCO where none of us are competing along with social norms on getting married, building a family, making their next thousand bucks, and many other adult things in life.
Hence, MCO3.0 became my mini escape park which allowed me to temporarily run away from all these. From making adult decisions, committing to relationships, being healthy, being an all-high achiever at work, etc.
That being said, I made very tiny progress this year on all 5 aspects of my life (health, finance, family/relationships, career, personal growth). I feel awfully unproductive this year but what's most important is that I have lived. These are my list:
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1. Explore Bukit Seri Bintang & Desa Petaling
Craving for some alone time, I’ve always wanted to attempt solo hikes to get used to dealing with the unknown and the unforeseeable. After having my first taste in solo hiking in 2020, I’ve explored some new routes and a new hiking place too. This time round I brought along friends to be my Guinea pigs lol Yet, I still have that tiny fear of making wrong decisions. Taking the wrong route. Misleading and disappointing friends who followed me. Still need time to understand why I’m feeling this set of uncomfortable feelings. Maybe it’s because of unsettled trauma in the past? Hopefully, with more hiking experience, I could confidently navigate through that fear of judgement. One day.
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| Short 30-minutes hike at Desa Petaling hill |
2. Made Handmade Temaki
It was during MCO 3.0 and I was craving for sushi. It also reminded me of the time I made my first temaki at a sushi workshop and it was super fun! Hence, I decided to make one myself! Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t get used to the raw salmon. The seaweed was also tough to chew. Thankfully the temaki was edible, but it’s probably the first and last time me doing this lol.
3. Hosted the Weekend Learnings
It all started with the idea of making MCO weekend time more productive and useful. All I wanted was to start a “study group”. Little did I know, the project has made its progress thanks to my friends who offered me their support. I have to be truthfully honest, there are days where I felt discouraged continuing this project for many reasons and despite it all, people attending it do find it beneficial (according to our internal surveys). I still have doubts of my own whether this project could continue sustaining itself, but until then, learning will continue for me regardless this project is being run anot.
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| The project was first launched on Discord! |
4. Went Water Boarding/Surfing for the First Time
Have always wanted to try water surfing, so I guess this was a good beginner trial for me! Felt wobbly when trying to stand. Water boarding is still the most comfortable for me. Hopefully one day, I would be able to surf the open seas.
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| This is the only "yeng" picture you can see before I fell lol |
5. Shifted to a New Office!
So near, yet still far. Thought shifting nearer to my home would lessen my traveling time, but it makes no difference :’) For now, I will start appreciating the days where I still can work from home before am required to go back to office full time.
6. Bought My First Sofa Bed
6 years ago, I was poor and dumb. Lol But now, owning and paying for my first furniture felt such a mini achievement to me as an adult #adultgoals The initial plan was to get a sofa for my living room, but long story short, I ended up with a pretty decent sofa bed for my study room. Nevertheless, I’m still quite pleased with the outcome because I can finally have my own privacy and space.
7. Addicted to COD and Learned How to Play Dota2 & Counter-Strike
No thanks to MCO3.0, I somehow gave up the will to function like how I used to be during the pre-MCO days. I felt like I was deep down in a gutter because I have lost faith and hope in the recovery of the pandemic. I was also starting to feel the burnout from work. For that 3-4 months, I wanted nothing more than just to spend time alone and escaping from the things that’s happening around me. So, I threw my time away into gaming. My physical and mental health took a toll on me and it affected me and my time spent on the relationship. It left me feeling worse than before (although my reaction time on the game became much faster!). Thankfully, that habit stopped once we’re allowed to go out once more and I’m no longer inclined to play. But this left me wondering, what other things I could have fulfilled if I had spent those gaming hours doing something more productive?
8. Tried Beauty in the Pot for the First Time
3 words. Not worth it. Would I go back? Maybe not. The soup broth was nice though.
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| When you're the beauty too #syoksendiri |
9. Went Bump Bouldering
It was my first time entering a climbing gym. It was pretty fun and manage to “bump” into Raymond Tang too!
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| Didn't take any picture so this will have to do. Do I look "yeng" anot? XD |
10. Met New People and Lose Friends
Regardless how deep I was in the gutter during MCO3.0, the only thing that kept me hopeful and excited about life was getting to meet and know new people. Little do I know some friendships ventured into something more serious. Which was initially, not my intention at all. Besides meeting new people, along the way, I have lost some too. Some whom were toxic to my personal and professional growth, privacy, and space. People leaving has always been a traumatic experience for me, but it’s still an ongoing self-love journey that I have to get used to it.
11. Got Featured on inrealife, TWWD Podcast, Sorella CSR video, and Helped A Research Team To Evaluate On A Breast Cancer Decision Aid Book
Thankful for this opportunity to share my experience and feedback in hopes that it’ll spread more awareness and provide social support on breast cancer. I still dream and hope one day I could drive this breast cancer education and awareness campaign to all secondary schools and universities in Malaysia. Hopefully, one day.
12. Came Close to Someone Whom Tested Positive for Covid-19
Your MCO experience is never complete until you get a mini scare of being a suspected Covid-19 patient/spreader. I had my own share of thriller experience, which left me feeling guilty for causing all the unnecessary inconvenience to the people I’ve met. Felt my own punishment when I had to do a PCR test 2 times (I think my nose has somehow got immune to the dam stick). Luckily, me and my mom were tested negative. What a relief!
13. Got Vaccinated!
Yay to freedom! The only part I didn’t enjoy the most during the vaccination drive was when the nurse insisted to inject on my arm where I had my lymph nodes removed. Besides that, I think I really enjoyed the 4-days free medical leave. I wish we had more of these leaves.
14. Started Investing
All that MCO savings came into good use this year. Thanks to my social support group, the opportunity came in just the right time to learn to invest in crypto too! Was jumping in (crypto) to test the waters. Made some, lose some, but after trading and doing my research for some time, I still think crypto is still a skeptical and a rumoured investing scheme. I’m not a crypto guru but my advice is whether investing in crypto or just investing in general, never put all your eggs into one basket, see the bigger picture, and use the power or dollar cost average.
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| I didn't invest in Bitcoin though. Too poor for that. :') |
15. Bought My First Gaming Laptop
I swear, this was my first expensive impulse purchase. I have always wanted to get my own personal laptop (because all this while, I’ve been using company laptops to fulfill all my personal work lol). I couldn’t comment much about my user experience with the Machenike laptop, because I’ve only used it a few times for gaming. All I could say, as long as my mom is happy using it, I’m happy!
16. Won An Ad Advertisement Competition
To the creator of this meme, you’re my hero.
17. Help Out In Alvin's Mini Farm
Wanted to get away from being cooped up at home. Hence, I volunteered to be his kuli for the day. Since then, I fell in love with the farming life. Not only does it feel good to be outside once again, but the experience gave me the serenity and peace that I needed. It also allowed me to reflect on life and reminded me to slow things down, especially when I’m so caught up with the e-commerce industry. I wish I could have this personal space to slow down sometimes. I wish kids could also experience farming life instead of being pampered with the world of technology these days.
18. Went Picnic and Cycling at Wetland Putrajaya
First time exploring Wetland Putrajaya and cycled more than 10km in the longest time. Luckily I came out alive lol.
19. Attempted A Dinner Birthday Surprise for Sheng Ying at Port Klang
Drove all the way to Port Klang in heavy rain to pick the birthday girl, and drove her back home to a birthday surprise dinner. Probably the first and last time going Port Klang too lol. Sorry Ying.
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| And a special spot for Zann in the pic |
20. Started Sleeping Early and Resuming Workouts
This discipline didn’t last very long though lol. At least it worked for that few days/weeks before I succumbed back to my usual 3-4AM sleeping pattern. I want back my healthy sleeping habit, but I just don’t know how.
21. Had An (Indoor) Picnic and Bridal Shower for Kai Lin
No diving trip this year, hence, a “showering” picnic experience is good enough to keep us wet before our trip next year. But I think I forgot how to dive d. XD
22. Had My Last Breast Cancer Photoshoot
This last photoshoot marks the end of my breast cancer journey. Thanks to this last photoshoot, I started resuming my usual workouts and eating healthy too! Compare to the photoshoot last year, this time I felt more self-conscious about my body and my feelings. Partly because I wasn’t feeling so emotionally driven compared to last time (hence, the last-minute spontaneous decision to do this photoshoot in the first place). I can’t say I was super confident during the photoshoot, but I didn’t shy away much either. I still felt a teeny-weeny bit uncomfortable showing the implants. I still probably need some time to be comfortable with what’s gone. What’s more important is that I get to finish this journey together with my Breast-friends 😊
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| Photographer credits to Peter Tan Studios |
23. Bought My First Road Bike
Ever since my cycling trip in Putrajaya, I got poisoned (no thanks to someone) to buy a road bike. Which speeds up the process of me getting one after 1 year plus of searching. The search has finally come to an end on 16th October when I met Merida Scultura 200. I was over the moon! The whole process of getting the bike reminded me of a similar experience of being in relationships. I’m happy that I could finally start this new journey with my new bike.
24. First Time Paddling A Paddleboat!
What was supposed to be a hiking trip, ended up as a blind date at a park. lol
25. Wore A Tampon for the First Time
How could women torture themselves wearing these things?! Not only does it feel uncomfortable, I could barely walk and sit normal with these things! Which kind of reminded me, maybe I should try experimenting using a menstrual cup one day!
26. Went to Pulau Pangkor for the First Time
My first getaway trip away from the city since MCO. Got a chance to visit a mosque for the first time, which I also wore my very first tudung lol. I learn fishing (properly) for the first time too! I kinda like how Pangkor allows me to slow down and take a chill pill. This place will hold so many memories for me. Some part of me wished that I could sit at the end of the dock and stare out into the sea for as long as the stars above me shine.
27. Being Hand Fed With Cake
It was my first time attending an Indian friend's birthday dinner. I didn't know it was a tradition to feed guests cakes too! Witnessing this birthday cake feeding ritual felt very meaningful and loving to me. It somehow tells us that regardless of how much drama, disagreements, and unsatisfaction happens in the family, it's still important to take care and be respectful of one another.
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| Again, no picture. This will have to do lol |
28. Attempted My First 21km KLSCM Virtual Run & Completed a 50km Running Challenge
I nearly forgot what’s it like completing an LDR(Long Distance Run) since MCO. The moment I finally clocked in my time, I was again reminded that this is what I live for. Although I didn’t clock in my personal best, I’m thankful for making and forcing this choice onto myself so that I can stay committed to my health goals. I need these kinds of events to keep me grounded sometimes. Adding on the 50km Lazada Run 2021 challenge to complete was torture, especially after the KLSCM Virtual Run. But I’m thankful I love myself this much to make this stupid decision to run. Without it, I wouldn’t have gotten into the Top 10 Finishers!
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Today, I turned 29.
