I'm getting all the more lazy to do this reflective journal every year before my birthday.
But all the heartbreaking moments and tough events that happened this year are the ones I should never want to forget. The biggest challenge this year for me was getting out of my comfort zone. As you know, once you're there, you're never gonna grow. It's a big wake up call to me. Thanks to the "alarm", next year I'm going to endure every little bit of pain to be what I want to be.
Bring it on, 2020.
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1. Completed My First Viper Challenge
Because I was a chicken, we only did the easiest category, and I realize how badly this event was organized. Long waiting time, and ridiculous long queue to get the entry band. Not even punctual according to the timing flag off. Very bad privacy security, I could just search some random person’s name and e-mail via their website. If I were an MLM agent, these data will definitely serve as a good e-mail ads spam.
2. Did My Favourite Workshop On Marathon In D2YC
Teaching something that I’ve been training for almost 4 years is something that I’ve been passionate about. Incorporating the Dhamma values into my trainings has helped me mentally and physically as a person, and it would seemed relevant these days to not only educate the younger Buddhist generation that Buddhism is only for work, relationships, etc., but is also relevant for sports and any activities that we do too.
Teaching something that I’ve been training for almost 4 years is something that I’ve been passionate about. Incorporating the Dhamma values into my trainings has helped me mentally and physically as a person, and it would seemed relevant these days to not only educate the younger Buddhist generation that Buddhism is only for work, relationships, etc., but is also relevant for sports and any activities that we do too.
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| My group of cute participants, whom the faci forgot to include me in this picture T_T So sad, but it's okay, I think I found myself a way to be in it |
3. Hike Up Gunung Datuk
The next day after camp, I had a zombie climbed up to the famous scenaric view of Seremban. It was truly beautiful and breathtaking. #noregrets
The next day after camp, I had a zombie climbed up to the famous scenaric view of Seremban. It was truly beautiful and breathtaking. #noregrets
4.
With plans to venture into triathlon, I decided to take my performance to another level with the multi-sport watch. At the same time, I saw an opportunity to win a trip to pamper my mom to a holiday. I brought my sister along (with a hefty expensive fee), and enjoyed our quality girls trip for the first time.
5. Completed My MSTA Practical Course And Swim Butterfly
After attending my so-called swim teacher internship, I realize 2 things, some teachers are bloody unprofessional when it comes to handling kids, 2nd, touch is really important to connect to the students.
6. Attended My First Company Trip To Tandom Hill
Even though it’s my 3rd time at this place, I truly enjoyed the time spent with these people who I’ve been working alongside. I almost panicked when I saw Richard, Director of my company, gasping for air during one of the water activities (he was in my team). The only thing I could do was pull him to safety, but so glad he was fine. Happy for my team that won 2nd place with all the team work, and making me the proudest team leader for having such an amazing team!
7. Got Hooked To PUBG
When I first played it, my hands trembled and shook from all the shooting, scary lonely relocation trips, and sudden sniping deaths. Of course, it got better over time and I also learnt a few things about this game. One, to analyse and be sensitive to the surroundings, and be patient not to rush into fights not worth fighting for. Second, I think I’m better in solo because I’m a horrible team player. I can’t even save/cover my teammates lol. Third, I’m the noob camper every gamer calls lol.
8. Reconnect With Familiar Faces
It was one of my new year resolutions this year to reconnect with people who had inspired and put me through certain phase in life that had forced me to grow up to be who am I today. But there's only a handful of energy and time I have, so I tried by best to meet at least 1 person a month. Sadly, I can only meet 6 of them this year. Still, thanks for the meet up Carmen Lee, Surej, Kuang Shan, Poh Ling, Lisynn, Melvin Seow, and Jonathan Khoo.
Nevertheless, I still think it's a good continuous effort to reconnect
with those who had meant alot to us at one point, at least it's not
through social media and we get to stay inspired and positive. So, yes. I'll definitely continue this. So next time when I ajak you out, please don't take it personally ya, my intentions are purely just to reconnect, not to sell you some insurance or MLM scheme.
9. Got A New Bicycle
Just my loving boyfriend showing his support for my triathlon goals. Thanks for all your love!
Just my loving boyfriend showing his support for my triathlon goals. Thanks for all your love!
10. Celebrated our 3rd Year Anniversary at Fraser Hills
It was the scariest trip to camp at the pitch dark campsite (did I mentioned there was practically no one there?) after coming back from a 5 hour hike from The Pine Tree Trail. The most memorable moment was having to enjoy my boyfriend’s delicious meal after a freezing cold bath by the running river.
11. First Time Sitting At The Main Table
I thought I could just sit down and shake leg to enjoy the dinner, but oh well… a girlfriend’s gotta do, what a girlfriend’s gotta do to sit at a VIP table.
12. Tried VR Gaming for the first time
3 words. Cool. Realistic. Fun! (Except for the part when I have to shoot flying virtual cockroaches flying towards me)
3 words. Cool. Realistic. Fun! (Except for the part when I have to shoot flying virtual cockroaches flying towards me)
13. Camp In A Shopping Mall To Purchase My First Concert Ticket
Not a big fan of Westlife, but automatically became one after this crazy adventure. Just decided to jump in the wagon one fine day from a spontaneous YOLO decision. Went camping in the shopping mall with my beloved Ken-Hui, and enjoyed the concert with “My Love” for the first time. Found out that I can actually earn money from queuing to buy and sell tickets. Will slot this in as a back-up plan if I’m broke next time lol.
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| Sorry KenHui, I lost all my pictures of us together. This shall be the best memory of us with them. Also, I get to "hugged" Mark's legs |
14. Took A Break And Understand Myself More About My Relationship Anxiety
In a relationship, hardships, heartaches, and disappointment are bound to happen. Cried and overthink more than I need to, only to realize that I couldn’t continue going on like this. So, when I can’t change something, I learned how to adapt to it. Along the journey, I not only understand my partner more, but also I get to know myself better. It brought me closer to knowing what I emotionally/physically need, and communicating those needs in a compassionate way to my partner without hurting his feelings. I also learnt that I have a mini anxiety of my relationship ending up in the same divorce situation as my parents. I hold on to the attachment to prevent that from happening again until I became obsessive to “correct” my partner actions. I overthink on every lil’itty bitty on things that he did and it affected me mentally and emotionally until I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I should stop it. With more time and practice to come, one day, I will be comfortable being okay to communicate my vulnerabilities to my partner.
“Commitments aren’t chosen once and then done—but must be chosen again and again and again, as life, people and understanding evolve.”
In a relationship, hardships, heartaches, and disappointment are bound to happen. Cried and overthink more than I need to, only to realize that I couldn’t continue going on like this. So, when I can’t change something, I learned how to adapt to it. Along the journey, I not only understand my partner more, but also I get to know myself better. It brought me closer to knowing what I emotionally/physically need, and communicating those needs in a compassionate way to my partner without hurting his feelings. I also learnt that I have a mini anxiety of my relationship ending up in the same divorce situation as my parents. I hold on to the attachment to prevent that from happening again until I became obsessive to “correct” my partner actions. I overthink on every lil’itty bitty on things that he did and it affected me mentally and emotionally until I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I should stop it. With more time and practice to come, one day, I will be comfortable being okay to communicate my vulnerabilities to my partner.
“Commitments aren’t chosen once and then done—but must be chosen again and again and again, as life, people and understanding evolve.”
15. Attended My First Toastmasters Meeting
Wanted to do this quite some time back but didn’t have the time. Thanks to Lee Ying Ying’s encouragement, I took up the courage to try their impromptu table topic. The thrill, excitement and anxiousness excites me to come out from my comfort zone. And I did. I miss this feeling for a long time.
16. Attended My First Bon Odori
Again, this was part of my to-do list, and I’m glad that I had truly manage to immerse myself with the event together with my good friends.
17. Had A Rough Time At Worked And Had Shifted 3 Times
New projects, new portfolio, more expectations, more stress. Still trying to adapt myself to the new challenges ahead and make myself relevant to the current industry. It’s either I adapt or die a slow death like the rest of the traditional retail world. Staying up to date with your skills and knowledge in the industry you’re working with is truly important. Oh, did I mentioned I shifted table 3 times? With the last being back to the original place I once started? =.=
New projects, new portfolio, more expectations, more stress. Still trying to adapt myself to the new challenges ahead and make myself relevant to the current industry. It’s either I adapt or die a slow death like the rest of the traditional retail world. Staying up to date with your skills and knowledge in the industry you’re working with is truly important. Oh, did I mentioned I shifted table 3 times? With the last being back to the original place I once started? =.=
18. See Something I Love, Die
I still couldn’t forget the horrible scene of my dog dying as we rush to the nearby pet clinics to save him. Until this day, we still couldn’t identify the cause of death. For the first time, I cried for something that I never thought will go away someday. I still miss you Loki. Very Much
19. Helped Out In 42th Incovar Dhamma Camp
Camp always came at the right time when my life is upside down. I’m glad that it had helped me find the right answers to all my life challenges, emotional, and spiritual needs this year. I’m indeed blessed to be able to receive all these teachings at this moment of my life. Bhante was right, I’m more spiritually better and happier than I’m used to.
20. Achieved my personal best twice in 21KM Sub 2.30 Category
Surprisingly, even with the lack of training, my performance is 12 minutes faster than my last personal best. Achieved my 2.30 sub goals in IJM Seremban Half Marathon and Kuala Lumpur Standard Chartered Half Marathon. I guess performance gets better when we age.
21. Swam My First Openwater At Pork Dickson And Went On To Achieve Oceanman Krabi 5KM
It would be a lie if I never told you that it was deep shit crazy, and scary to swim in the open water. Achieving half-oceanman was the biggest achievement and highlight of my year, and I still find it hard to swallow (eventhough I’ve swallowed a lot of seawater). Of course along the journey, I met some great friends and athletes who helped me along the way, and thanks to them, I made it! Special thanks to my supportive boyfriend for being there for me. If there’s only 1 person I can pick to be at the finishing line, it’s him…. with a pack of potato chips.
22. Took Our First Family Photo Together
Thank goodness we took this picture at my current age. At least I look more femininely and maturely gorgeous in the pic. Much better without my braces if we took it when I just graduated. #truestory
23. Reliving My Art-sy Side Of Me
I missed the art side of me during the high school days. The watercolour stains on my hands, the colours coming together on a paper, the deep concentration of just being in the moment. I missed all of that. I didn’t know where to start again. So, I did this. Sometimes it’s sad that people lose a part of their side which they used to love (and are talented in). I wish this doesn’t have to happen to me.
24. Spend More Time With My Mom
After dating some time, I realized and felt that I was so selfish to spend time doing my favourite activities with my partner instead of my mom. This put me into question, there are some things that we both likes, but why can’t I do it with her? Instead, I decided to do it with boyfriend? If I were a mom, I would also wish that my daughter/son would spend time with me and bring me to fun places (It’s a promise to myself that I’m gonna be the very-in-mom okay.). So, I decided to take her out to make her feel happy, healthy, and young again. Not only did I get to bond and understand her better, but I also realize that my mom is getting old, and it means the world to me if I could always be there to protect and spend time with her.
After dating some time, I realized and felt that I was so selfish to spend time doing my favourite activities with my partner instead of my mom. This put me into question, there are some things that we both likes, but why can’t I do it with her? Instead, I decided to do it with boyfriend? If I were a mom, I would also wish that my daughter/son would spend time with me and bring me to fun places (It’s a promise to myself that I’m gonna be the very-in-mom okay.). So, I decided to take her out to make her feel happy, healthy, and young again. Not only did I get to bond and understand her better, but I also realize that my mom is getting old, and it means the world to me if I could always be there to protect and spend time with her.
25. Started Preparing My Own Lunch To Work
Once upon a time, I attended a property gallery showroom with Lai YiXuan and I realized I can't even afford a 10% down payment for a 700k hotel/house unit (not that I need it or plan to buy, I'm just a kepochi). After reviewing my financial planning and receiving a few naggings from my boyfriend, I realized I overspend a lot on food. At the same time, the opportunity came up to cook up some recipes for a video shooting for Butterfly. Not only that, my boyfriend home cooked lunch habits had inspired me to do the same. Since then, I would cook and prepare my own lunch at least once or twice a week. Other days, I would be strict on my spending to RM10/day, and a one day special expensive lunch treat to reward myself. The results? I saved up to RM200-RM300/month, which is basically a lot from my usual RM500/month food budget. Now, I’m more interested in cooking and learning new recipes, but healthy or not healthy, is another story. Lol
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| This by far is the most delicious recipes I've created. Bacon garlic fried rice with celery at the side. All you need is an egg, carrot cubs, diced onions and garlic, sliced bacon, overnight rice, and a tablespoon of soya sauce to enjoy the yummy-ness! |
26. Experience My First Car Break-In And Got My Phone Stolen
Although it has been almost more than 2 weeks, I’m still feeling a bit of the trauma from the incident. I was lost, and in a disbelief moment. “How could this happen to me?” I kept thinking to myself, even until now. It’s also my first trip to the police station, and I’m so glad that there are people around me to help me. I’m fortunate that I only lost a phone.
Well, at least I’m safe from harm and danger, and it gave me a good excuse to get myself a new phone. Did I mentioned that it’s seriously super difficult to get help when you have no phone? It’s also hard to get by without a mobile data on your phone these days.
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Today, I turned 27.
