I gave him a query look.

"What do you mean am I happy? Of course I am!"

"No you're not," he rebutted.

"What do you mean I'm not?"

He took a sip from his cup of I-don't-what's-the-name-of-the-alcohol and gave me a serious look.

"You were much happier before."

"Oh? Was I?"

I raised my eyebrow. "When?"

"When you were in a relationship." he paused. "You were much happier when you were with him."

I gave it a thought for a while. The feelings suddenly came flooding over me. Moments by moments as every little memory of laughter, hardships, and tears came rushing to my mind.

He was right. I was much happier when I was with him despite the hardships. But it wasn't the memories of the things that were done that made me happy, it was just me being there at the present moment. Every feeling and every moment, despite the bad and good times, had made me happy.

"You're right," I said as I stared at his half-empty glass. "I was happy when I was in a relationship."

I mean, who could have not been? There's bound to be moments that you'll definitely treasure, but that's something I didn't think worth mentioning to him at the moment. He's probably waiting for me to give an explanation. He always wanted a reason for everything I say, but this time, he's just partially right.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not happy now." I pointed.

He tilted his head.

"What do you mean?"

"Peace, Dave."

“I think the right word to use is peace." I smiled. "I am not happy, but I am at peace. And that's all that mattered."

* * *

Have you ever gone looking for something, only to realize you had it with you the whole time? It's like that.