Just temporary gone.

But that's good enough.

One thing that kept me going in badminton, is because I held on to a dream which I couldn't accomplish in the past.

From that onwards, I held on to that dream (or is it grudge? :/) to be in a badminton competition. To CRUSH my opponent and not let that badminton incident happen again.

And, finally, that day has come.

***

There were a total of 6 teams (including my team) that took part in the badminton competition. I took part in the women badminton singles. Amy was actually playing for singles but I had to replace her. I played for women doubles as well. My partner was Alex's sister, Dorinna.

The first match was against 'Bubdy'. I manage to get through without any difficulty. I was lucky for the first match. However, I knew that I won't be that lucky at the second match because I knew my opponents would be better than me.

Second match was against 'Inconva'. I lost quite badly. My opponent made me run around and I find it hard to attack her back and as well as making my opponent run.

The third match was against 'BISDS'. I lost this one too. I didn't lose badly but it's obvious that my opponent was better than me.

In the end, I lost the chance on getting the bronze medal for singles. But I manage to win back a bronze for women doubles. And again, it was just pure luck.

***

Even though that I had lost, I feel a sense of achievement. I wasn't aiming to win, I was aiming to have that same experience that my "friend" did a long time ago. I have been longing for this feeling for a very long time, and it felt very good. I had learn and experience a lot that day and I will never forget that.

Then again, I would like to thank D2YC for giving me that chance to play for the team (even though I lost :S). And I would like to thank them for giving me that experience. =)

A BIG Sadhu to everyone of you!!

So, tell me. Why was it you again?

Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of four months. If it exceeds, you are already in love.

Well, let's see how this works out.

Tell me why did I fell for your personality when I just only met you once?

It's really annoying me.

I'm a SUCKER when it comes to love.

And I HATE it.

So, please. Let us just stay this way.

This same distance.

As friends.

Because I know, that I'm not what you want.

FAIL

I spend most of the time being alone. It's not a very sad thing as I find it very beneficial to me. Whether I'm walking, standing, waiting, etc. Whenever I'm alone, I will go deep into thoughts. It's the best time for me to reflect on the things I did.

3 things I will usually reflect on.

Past. Present. Future.

Firstly, I will think about myself.

The things I did in the past. The things that I've achieved. And the things that I can do to push myself further.

Secondly, I will think about my family.

The events that had occurred in the past. My current family situation. And the things that I can give to my family in the future.

I will also think about my friends/colleagues/teachers/lecturers.

I think about the things that made them happy. I will think what's good for them.

I will also reflect on the things that my teacher/lecturer had taught that day. Whether the teachings are correct or incorrect? Whether it will be useful in the future?

Lastly, I will think about the society's well being and the planet.

What can I do to contribute to the society? What can I do to help the people who are in need? How to make a difference in the society? Where can I start?

***

I don't think it's really a meditation process. Many say it is but I'm pretty much sure it's an early stage of self-actualization. I'm not quite there yet, it's still a long way to go. Which requires more worldly knowledge and strong sense of spiritualness.

I will, one day, be a spiritually strong person based on my own beliefs.

Zhu Yingtai is a beautiful and intelligent young woman, the only daughter of the wealthy family. Although traditions of that era discourage females from going to school, Yingtai manages to convince her father to allow her to attend classes in disguise as a young man.

During her journey to Hangzhou, she meets Liang Shanbo, a poor but hard-working scholar. They chat and feel a strong affinity for each other at their first meeting. However, they treated each other like brothers. They study together for the next three years in school and Yingtai gradually falls in love with Shanbo. Shanbo begins to suspect YingTai to be gay when he accidentally discovers some of Yingtai's secrets. But he is still unaware of the feminine characteristics exhibited by his classmate.

One day, YingTai receives a letter from her father, asking her to return home as soon as possible. YingTai has no choice but to pack her belongings immediately and bid ShanBo farewell. Before her departure, she reveals her true identity to ShanBo. ShanBo was not surprise that YingTai was a women as he had figured it out much earlier. ShanBo promises YingTai that he will ask her hand in marriage after he becomes an official. They are devoted to and passionate about each other and they make a vow of "till death do us part".

A few months later, ShanBo becomes a government official and reunites with YingTai during one of his visits. ShanBo offers to have YingTai's hand in marriage. However, YingTai's parents have already arranged for her to marry a man from a rich family. YingTai's parents did not approve of ShanBo's proposal to YingTai as he was just a lower rank of a government official.

ShanBo plans to take YingTai away one night. But he was caught and beaten up. YingTai was banned from seeing ShanBo ever again and was locked up in her room. ShanBo is heartbroken and his health gradually deteriorates until he becomes critically ill. He dies in office later as a county magistrate.

YingTai was heartbroken when she heard the news of ShanBo's death. On the day of YingTai's marriage, mysterious whirlwinds prevent the wedding procession from escorting the bride beyond ShanBo's grave, which lies along the journey. YingTai leaves the procession to pay her respects to ShanBo. She descends in bitter despair and begs for the grave to open up.

Suddenly, the grave opens with a clap of thunder. Without further hesitation, YingTai throws herself into the grave to join ShanBo. Their spirits turn into a pair of beautiful butterflies and emerge from the grave. They fly together as a pair and are never to be separated again.

***

If you love sappy love stories, try watching The Lovers. The storyline is the same as the Butterfly Lovers but the way the actors contributes to the story is really cute! This movie was filmed back in 1995 but it is really worth watching.

You can watch the whole movie on YouTube!! You should really watch it! :D