Had lived my life nearly a month without an smartphone.
And if you're wondering why...
the answer is pretty simple...
My 2 year old iPhone 3Gs dropped into a toilet cubicle, and the worst thing is...
I couldn't retrieve it.
And how's life without an smatphone?
Well, pretty okay I guess, since I'm still alive after all.
But the first few days made me feel pretty naked. I don't even need to strip myself to even feel naked either.
The constant habit of taking out my iPhone and scrolling through FB, Instagram, etc. whenever I feel bored, keeps popping out. The addiction feeling just makes you feel like "life-is-not-worth-living-anymore".
At the 2nd week, the feeling of loneliness starts to sip in as I was left out from Whatsapp group discussions, yamcha sessions, and heck yes, I don't even know when was the next meeting held!! Life without an smartphone was pretty bad, especially when I'm involved in very very very important meetings as I need to be constantly updated with the latest changes.
Unless you're a really really really important person, even without a smartphone, everyone will still remember you because they'll still need to find a way to contact you. lol.
The 3rd and 4th week is the realization week.
During this time, I was very well aware with my smartphone addiction, and the good thing is that it makes me focus more on my work, and it improves on my face-to-face communication with my friends and family. Although at times, when a friend or 2 will start taking out their smartphones to Instagram the "perfect moment" of theirs, I'll still have that inkling feeling inside of me that misses it. It's like having to think back those nolstagic memories with your ex-... but in fact, it's an ex-smartphone.
And the result?
Less Facebooking.
Less Instagram-ming ridiculous pictures.
More focused on my work.
More fruitful communication with friends and family.
Life was more fun.
...
...
But I still think I need my iPhone back.
lol
Took a day's leave from work to do a little mini project for a friend.
Travelled around KL to individually meet my high school friends whom I haven't been talking to for quite some time.
Although it's a tiring day, but I'm pretty glad to have talked to them =)
Sent my car for a car wash this morning.
As I sat back and looked up at the sky, I realized...
how life is still so wonderful and beautiful, even if I don't have an iPhone to Instagram every memorable moment in my life.
Because every moment, can only be seen in the eyes.
You know you've found the perfect guy/girl,
when he/she is the only reason for your happiness
and yet you can still can be yourself around him/her.
"I want a helium balloon," Recci whines.
The whole group stared at her.
"Come on Recci... Are you still a kid?" one of her friends added.
"But... I just want one...," Recci frowns.
The group continues chatting about something else. Oblivious to the others, Recci noticed another group of amateurs chatting happily and loudly. They were all holding strings of helium balloons. Recci slumps back into her seat, watching them. The group started cheering and encoring about something, which slowly fades into small chuckles and laugher.
Recci notices a red helium balloon, motionlessly floating across the ceiling of the hall.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
And, now, she kept eyeing on it.
"I want...," Recci points hopelessly at the floating balloon. Sitting up-straight in her seat, but she was too weak to move.
But her friends seemed oblivious to Recci's wants.
On the other end of the table, Kenny watched on. He looks like he was thinking of something.
Out of nowhere, Kenny stood up from his seat and manage to grab onto the ends of the broken balloon string. He did it with ease, and he thoughtlessly gave the red balloon to Recci.
Recci smile with joy!
"Thank you!" Was all she could say, and nothing else could replace her heart filled with internal bliss!
She held onto the balloon, tugging onto the string as if it were a flying kite.
And she felt something. The undescribable feeling of something in her heart. Something that is itching and crying inside of her, but it was a good feeling.
It's either because of the balloon. Or him.
And the best part is, no one knows.
I don't usually have many friends. Even though if I do, out of the millions, I only hold a few closed to my heart.
I have a loyal heart. A very, very loyal heart.
If I were to be your BEST friend, you would FOREVER be my best friend, and I would always hold you closed to my heart.
The kind of friendship that I usually treasure is usually an closed and personal one. If I have secrets and things I would wanna share, you would be that 1 and only person. Because I don't wish to open up my heart to everyone I meet. It's tiring.
What I usually dislike is when I hang out with my closed friends, they bring in extra 'people' into the group.
Just when I want to catch up with you, you bring in new people for me to know them.
I hate that.
I only wished to know you better, not NEW people better.
So, if you are my friend, please...
Do. Not. Ever. Do. That.
They always say,"a picture is worth a thousand words" which is kinda true, but sometimes we tend to misunderstand people sometimes, which make us jump into conclusions without knowing the real facts.
I accidentally bump into this picture this evening. At first glance of the picture, snapped during Vancouver's hockey riots (2011), it shows a young couple lying on the road and kissing, oblivious to the chaos around them.
Some of you might be thinking "their crazy!!" or " their a bunch of immature amateurs!!", but the real story behind this picture was actually not what you think it is.
Alex Thomas and boyfriend, Scott Jones was knocked to the ground by riot police after attending the Stanley Cup playoffs. Alex was injured in the riot, and Scott layed down next to her to comfort her. The camera manage to capture the picture of Scott, giving Alex a kiss on her cheek to calm her down because she started acting hysterically.
The picture taken by Canadian photographer Richard Lam became a global sensation – appearing in the media, shared on Facebook and tweeted around the world – and looked set to take its place as one of the world's most iconic kiss photographs.
Now, I'd say, that's true love :)
It's 3.13am now as I type this post.
Gosh. I told myself to not start tearing up again, but here I am, bawling like a little baby.
*sigh* I don't usually type my whole life story emotions here, but I'm just gonna do it once to let it all out.
Countdown Time: 20 hours till Year 2013
* * *
Recently, I met up with her, after like... 1-3months or so? I'm not really sure, I was too busy in my events and studies that I didn't really keep track of time. The time where I usually spend some quality time with the girls. The usual busy me, something which I don't really like myself anymore.
So, I met her. I saw her. Sitting on a familiar guy's lap, arms around him.
It's my first time seeing her with a guy.
Oh, him? Yeah. I met him before. Definitely. I knew they were together.
She saw me. Yeah, she definitely did.
But instead of her coming to hug me (or maybe I was reminiscing too much? lol), she didn't even bother to stand up to give a proper greeting, or... not even a hug? Even after 1-3 months for not meeting up?
She'd changed. Definitely. Her behaviour and all.
She's the same old girl that I know, but not the same girl that I recognize. Anymore.
*
Seeing her sharing her life with another part of hers, makes me sad yet happy for her.
Not sure which came first. I guess it was sadness.
I definitely saw it coming, but it came too soon. Maybe I wasn't ready yet?
Sad, because she won't be sharing her problems with me anymore.
(Well, actually, she stop sharing since we entered Uni... Hmm...)
Mesmerizing the times where we shared our darkest, deepest secrets together.
Our feelings. Our thoughts. Our opinions. Our complains.
Sad, because I won't be the main reason she finds and spends much quality time with me anymore.
The times where we usually hangout in our usual shopping mall, MidValley.
Shopping. Teasing. Bullying. Pushing. Laughing.
Sad... because I won't be there for her anymore.
Yet, I'm happy for her.
That she finally found the right one (or so to say).
*
As we grew up in life, people walk in and out in our lives.
And sadly to say, we usually walk out of our friend's life once they have found their right partner.
Not completely out of our lives, but sometimes friends do keep in touch, but it's not as often as you usually do anymore. They'll be busy taking care of their children, house chores, preparing meals, working, etc. Hence, leaving not much time for friends.
I watch my mother as she sleeps, and I wondered, whether she still meet up with her closed friends anymore.
I doubt that she did. Seeing her work everyday, barely spending much time with us at home. She only has us, her children.
*
I'm not sure whether you're still reading this now. But if you do, I just wanna let you know, that you'll always be my friend. Through ups and downs that we've been through all these years, and even if I didn't spend much time as we usually do after we've entered Uni, you're still my trusted friend.
I hope you're happy with him. As he'll be taking part of my job, as his job, to comfort, scold, laugh, talk, cry, and cheer you up. May the both of you be happy always being together, to overcome ups and downs together, etc.
Now's the time, where I'm leaving you to walk your own path, together with him.
I've gotta let you go, and move on with my life. But just to let you know, that I'll always be there for you when you need me, to my dear friend, Sara Nui Kuan Yee.
It's my 2nd time being part of this year's D2YC. Well, I gotta say it's a total different experience this year for me, as the organizing system is different, there's lesser things I'm in charge of, and there's a new generation batch of participants this year.
Honestly, I personally think that the programs were quite good this year, but somehow, there are some mistakes here and there which disrupts the program flow. I think because of that, I felt quite emotionally disturbed throughout the whole camp. I think I tried to voiced it out during the first meeting, but it only ended up with me, in an embarrassing awkward moment. So, I thought "I guess it was just me".
* * *
Personal Emotions
The first 2 days came and go, it was nothing much. I was kinda free most of the time. The last 3 days were quite emotional for me, not sure why. I guess it started after I had a personal talk with Bro.Haw Lun. We were talking about my family, more personally towards my father. I guess the committees had already suspected that I had so many cars driven to temples. lol. I made a confession that I wasn't really certain about his job, and I tried numerous times to convinced my father to not waste so much money on things which we don't really need. I went almost into tears when he told me,"It's okay. I can see he really loves you. So, do appreciate him."
And I kept quiet, and silently cried inside my heart.
* * *
Dodge Ball
Somehow, I managed to found out my new talent after the dodge ball game, where I represented the committees to play against the girl participants. I think I was too engrossed into the game, that I even fell against the floor, hard, trying to dodge a ball. lol. I personally wanted to give up when I was all alone during the last match. But, somehow my heart tells me not to, after hearing their voices, their guidance, their cheers... which in the end, we won. I can't believe it myself either lol, was trying to make the puzzle pieces in my head make sense, while I stoned there. Until everyone came to group hug me, than it finally make sense. Well, I guess I got myself a new hobby now, I think. lol...
* * *
Mahapuja and Candle Night
Mahapuja went pretty well. Would personally like to thank Bro.Shashi for his guidance and his help. And thank goodness that the Yin Ching just arrived in time before the session started, and thank goodness that the sky was in our favour that night. Thanks to Sis.Jacqueline, Bro.Jonathan, Sis.Stephanie, Sis.JiaYin, Sis.Meng Xi, Bro.WeiEn, and Bro.WeiWing for helping me out with the candle lighting, candle judging, offerings, etc. I personally think it went really well, which includes the puja, passing of offerings, meditation, etc. Accept there were some minor mistakes with the cushion arrangements and a little too quick in one of the closing salutation bowings.
Candle night on the other hand, was a little bit out of hand, I think. I wasn't really ready with my personal stories and some explanations were quite rushed. In fact, there weren't much of elaboration on certain points which I wanted to emphasized on. Most videos were not shown as planned before, and due to the time constraint, the activity almost took up 2hours. And, I guess I was being too serious throughout the activity. But I would like to thank Bro.Sean for giving such a splendid idea on the candle night, but a big mistake was that, not many participants knew it was a candle night. =.=
Anyway, received a few good feedbacks on the activity. Participants knew what their dream was, and received the necessary feedbacks they need from their groupmates to achieved their dream. Thus, I really hope the participants will achieved what they set out to achieved after my session. Would like to thank Sis.Stephanie and Bro.HawLun as well for their help, guidance and encouragement, couldn't have done it without you by my side. Thanks to Bro.Ron and Bro.Chris for helping with the burning obstacle paper thingy. We didn't set the temple on fire at least. lol.
Hence, there's still room for improvement for this activity.
* * *
Participants
This year's participants was completely different compared to previous years. What touches me the most is when the participants said their thank you's in a whole big group during the last day in camp. Really felt appreciated and touched by them, as I don't really recall any batch of participants doing that in previous camps.
During the closing ceremony, I almost went into tears again when the participants spend so much time doing group cheers, hugging each other, and as well as the committees. In previous years, participants would just go off without saying proper goodbyes or anything. I told myself in my heart, "we have finally did it. D2YC'12 was a success, and we manage to groom these few participants to be different, with loving-compassion and loving-kindness."
Personally, I think each and every one of them was quite awesome. :)
* * *
D2Y
Hence, this marks another year for me in D2YC. It's been 2 years since I've joined D2Y. D2Y has been a platform for me to experienced all my 'first-times'. The first time I joined my first badminton competition. The first time I organized a charity project. The first time I became a camp secretary. The first time I sang in public. The first time I plan for programs.
And the first time I found myself.
