It's 3.13am now as I type this post.
Gosh. I told myself to not start tearing up again, but here I am, bawling like a little baby.
*sigh* I don't usually type my whole life story emotions here, but I'm just gonna do it once to let it all out.
Countdown Time: 20 hours till Year 2013
* * *
Recently, I met up with her, after like... 1-3months or so? I'm not really sure, I was too busy in my events and studies that I didn't really keep track of time. The time where I usually spend some quality time with the girls. The usual busy me, something which I don't really like myself anymore.
So, I met her. I saw her. Sitting on a familiar guy's lap, arms around him.
It's my first time seeing her with a guy.
Oh, him? Yeah. I met him before. Definitely. I knew they were together.
She saw me. Yeah, she definitely did.
But instead of her coming to hug me (or maybe I was reminiscing too much? lol), she didn't even bother to stand up to give a proper greeting, or... not even a hug? Even after 1-3 months for not meeting up?
She'd changed. Definitely. Her behaviour and all.
She's the same old girl that I know, but not the same girl that I recognize. Anymore.
*
Seeing her sharing her life with another part of hers, makes me sad yet happy for her.
Not sure which came first. I guess it was sadness.
I definitely saw it coming, but it came too soon. Maybe I wasn't ready yet?
Sad, because she won't be sharing her problems with me anymore.
(Well, actually, she stop sharing since we entered Uni... Hmm...)
Mesmerizing the times where we shared our darkest, deepest secrets together.
Our feelings. Our thoughts. Our opinions. Our complains.
Sad, because I won't be the main reason she finds and spends much quality time with me anymore.
The times where we usually hangout in our usual shopping mall, MidValley.
Shopping. Teasing. Bullying. Pushing. Laughing.
Sad... because I won't be there for her anymore.
Yet, I'm happy for her.
That she finally found the right one (or so to say).
*
As we grew up in life, people walk in and out in our lives.
And sadly to say, we usually walk out of our friend's life once they have found their right partner.
Not completely out of our lives, but sometimes friends do keep in touch, but it's not as often as you usually do anymore. They'll be busy taking care of their children, house chores, preparing meals, working, etc. Hence, leaving not much time for friends.
I watch my mother as she sleeps, and I wondered, whether she still meet up with her closed friends anymore.
I doubt that she did. Seeing her work everyday, barely spending much time with us at home. She only has us, her children.
*
I'm not sure whether you're still reading this now. But if you do, I just wanna let you know, that you'll always be my friend. Through ups and downs that we've been through all these years, and even if I didn't spend much time as we usually do after we've entered Uni, you're still my trusted friend.
I hope you're happy with him. As he'll be taking part of my job, as his job, to comfort, scold, laugh, talk, cry, and cheer you up. May the both of you be happy always being together, to overcome ups and downs together, etc.
Now's the time, where I'm leaving you to walk your own path, together with him.
I've gotta let you go, and move on with my life. But just to let you know, that I'll always be there for you when you need me, to my dear friend, Sara Nui Kuan Yee.