There was once a girl who fell in love with a monk.
Unfortunately, their love was forbidden by the temple and religious authorities as it is deem unholy and it may disrupt the monk from his Dhamma practices.
The monk was not allow to meet and talk to the girl within and outside the temple premises. The only close encounter they would ever get is when the monk goes for his usual bell duty outside of the temple.
With that, the girl would secretly hide love messages inside the bell everyday before the monk attend to his bell duty. In return, the monk would also reply to her messages by leaving notes inside the bell.
To protect the secret letters from being taken by thieves and the public, the monk cast a spell on the bell in which that whoever looks underneath the bell, the person will be cursed with an everlasting of misfortunes and bad luck for the rest of his life.
Looking back, turning 21 seems pretty much in the past. This
is the first time I had to delay a birthday reflection post for almost a week.
I guess the major reason is because of work, and the continuous ongoing social
activities that doesn’t really allow me to slow down and properly reflect, not even a little
bit.
Well,
to be honest, I’ve been quite busy with work ever since I’ve been into the
workforce. I don’t have much time for anything anymore. I know it may sound off
as an excuse, because there’s always time for everything and anything—it is up
to me to make time for myself.
However, I’ve always been busy, but now it’s
busier because I’m now living life on the fast lane. This happens when you want
to have a career in a FMCG industry. Even so, I noticed that I'm always never interested to celebrate my birthday because of my busy-ness (that's sad, isn't it?). But there are those who really love and care about me who always want to celebrate this special day with me. I'm so glad to always have these bunch of good friends and loving family, even when I always refuse to not make my birthday such a big thing.
I'm so blessed to have you all!
But, as I grow, I acknowledge
the fact that I’m no longer making decisions as a graduate anymore, I’m making
decisions as a responsible adult, and I’m on my way there.
So, here goes the
list of the 22 things I did while being a working adult:
* * *
1. Conquered Broga Hill for the first time
So, I heard a lot about this infamous Broga Hill during my uni days.
After climbing up to the peak, I just realize Broga Hill is just like a naked cemetery hilltop. It's naked because it has nothing much at the top except HUGE ROCKS & GIGANTIC BOULDERS.
2. Wore braces
After many months of avoiding my father's decision to get braces, I finally did it! I even pulled out 4 tooth to complete my braces experience. The only thing that I didn’t like about my braces was when I started to have this lisp problems. Always mispronouncing words and getting tongue tied many times, especially during critical situations where I really need to speak quickly. Sometimes, it hurts my confidence a little because of this, but then again, it’s also a good training for me to speak slowly and more mindfully to people.
3. Went cycling at Bukit Cahaya Shah Alam
The only few things that make me truly happy – sports!
Finally being able to cycle in such a huge cycling area! The cool air against my body, and the adrenaline rush when cycling downhill made me realize that these are the little things that I would truly live for!
4. Left Hest Bar at Selangor Turf Club
It’s hard to believe that few months back, I was afraid that I couldn’t cope with my job as a supervisor, and as well with my studies, but in the end, I still did it! Met a lot of interesting people, and people in which stories that I wrote of. I’m really gonna miss those days where I would secretly sneak out to look up into the vast dark skies.
5. My first fresh-graduate job as a sales executive
To be honest, my first fresh-graduate job is not all perfect as it turned out to be, or neither was it something that I expect myself to do either. As this is my first time applying for a full-time job, I told myself that it’s okay to have jobs that you’re not gonna like, because you may never know if one of them might end up as your life-long career!
Few years back, I dreamt to work for organizations like WWF, and I finally did (although indirectly)! During these few weeks as a salesperson, I learnt how to have open and casual conversations with strangers. But sadly, I found out that my interests doesn’t belong to sales line or to the NGO industries.
6. Travelled to Tokyo, Japan for the first time
After leaving the sales line, I took a short break and travel with my family to Tokyo. It was the end of the Sakura season when we travelled there, and it was our first time planning our own travel itinerary. We stayed at a backpacker cottage, where we met a lot of other travellers from different countries. Really love the hospitality and helpfulness shown by all the retail staff and citizens when he got lost a lot of time, especially with the confusing subway/railway/train stations. Also, met up backpacker loner Zheng Guan, and long-time-no-see Eddie Chew, in which he impressed me and my family with his fluent Japanese slang!
After leaving the sales line, I took a short break and travel with my family to Tokyo. It was the end of the Sakura season when we travelled there, and it was our first time planning our own travel itinerary. We stayed at a backpacker cottage, where we met a lot of other travellers from different countries. Really love the hospitality and helpfulness shown by all the retail staff and citizens when he got lost a lot of time, especially with the confusing subway/railway/train stations. Also, met up backpacker loner Zheng Guan, and long-time-no-see Eddie Chew, in which he impressed me and my family with his fluent Japanese slang!
7. Started working at Delfi Marketing Sdn Bhd
After completing university, I had major interest working in
a FMCG (fast moving consumer goods) firm, and Delfi Marketing was the first company
that gave me that opportunity. Delfi Marketing is a product distribution
company in which they distribute goods to all retail stores/convenient stores/
pharmacies/etc., mainly dealing with B2B.
Although my current portfolio are
skewed towards more to the healthcare division, I realize that my current job
scope requires me to act and think fast, which is not what I’m capable of doing.
The first few months were pretty hard on me ever since I switched to a reputable
brand portfolio. But I always believe that the starting is always the hardest.
Thus, I have to always start somewhere, to actually go somewhere, and I hope
this ‘somewhere’ that I’m going, is the place I want to my career to grow most.
8. Achieved women doubles champion
Working in Delfi also means being active in their weekly badminton sessions! Recently, an inter-badminton competition was held within my company, and I took this chance to achieve my 2013 stated resolution. Won women doubles champaion, and got a better chance to build better relationships with my colleagues too!
9. First toast on the helipad
It’s funny how my current social gatherings always lead me
to previous places which I have been for work purposes. It sure does bring back
good memories.
10. Received gifts and surprises from someone anonymous
During the transition period of a switch of my work portfolio, I was overloaded with challenges and responsibilities which took a plunge on me emotionally and mentally. I guess someone took notice of this, and decided to cheer me up. I haven’t really found out who he/she really is, but whoever you are, thanks for bringing these little surprises in my life. You were the reason that made me looked forward to these mini dosage of happiness every Tuesday. So, thank you! (I know you’ll be reading this!)
During the transition period of a switch of my work portfolio, I was overloaded with challenges and responsibilities which took a plunge on me emotionally and mentally. I guess someone took notice of this, and decided to cheer me up. I haven’t really found out who he/she really is, but whoever you are, thanks for bringing these little surprises in my life. You were the reason that made me looked forward to these mini dosage of happiness every Tuesday. So, thank you! (I know you’ll be reading this!)
11. Went Zouk for the first time
I thought I would be able to see the wild side of me with all those alcohol, but I guess it wasn’t the right people that I would want them to know how wild I am. I spend the night at a nearby petrol station near my house when I found out I was locked outside. What an interesting first timer night, but unfortunately, it’s gonna be my last. I still like my old classic self.
12. Went for my first trip to Johor
Got to know everyone a bit better after this trip, especially Chen Yee Leong’s major addiction to emo songs. Hehe... Besides him, I also became much closer to some of them :) And I finally did what I wished to do for a long time: to blow, and play with huge bubbles!
My inner childlike wish has been finally fulfilled!
13. Being part of the publicity team in the 38th Incovar Dhamma Camp
Can’t believe that I’m not joining Incovar Dhamma Camp as a participant anymore, but as a committee. I finally did what I wished to do in a long time: to do a proper professional videography.
Of course since is my first time doing the video with a DLSR camera, there were a lot of things that I wished I could do better.
It was a great pleasure working together with different people, especially within my own department. This experience made me understand other people’s strength and weaknesses. Camp was definitely a mind blowing. To read more about it, please click here.
14. First time witnessing a real live horse race
After working at the horse gambling industry for more than a
year, I never really got a chance to witness a real live horse race. Now that I
have, I would like to highlight that all racing horses have really weird names.
#truestory
Also, maybe a word of advice: don't gamble on horse racing. It's all a money sucking ploy to earn more money from gamblers. Plus, you're hurting those poor horses!
Also, maybe a word of advice: don't gamble on horse racing. It's all a money sucking ploy to earn more money from gamblers. Plus, you're hurting those poor horses!
15. Became involved in the D2Y Camp-X Food & Beverage department
I rarely or seldom cook at home, but when I do… it only happens in camps! Didn’t really cook much though, as most of the preparations were already done by a group of amazing aunties! However, I realize that I spent 80% of my time being in the kitchen and dining hall. If it’s not washing the dishes, I’ll be busy cutting fruits, if I’m not cutting fruits, I’ll be busy making sure that the food is being prepared on time. This is the first time I felt so imprisoned that I couldn’t go anywhere and everywhere during camp programs like how I used to. Although it is tiring, but I still feel honoured, blessed, and happy to bring food to the table.
16. Found out that my university research paper got published
This random girl from Facebook dropped me a FB message requesting to know more about my final year research questionnaire. This was when I finally found out that my final year research paper, and one of my assignment research paper actually got published through online!
To read more about my research, please click the following links:
1. An exploratory study of the factors influencing Generation-Y's purchasing intention within the toy industry in Malaysia
2. The Influence of Individual Internal Factors on Impulse Buying Behaviour through Online Shopping
17. Got out of shape, and sprained my ankle twice
Ever since I started working, I’ve gained 4kg’s!! This is pretty depressing, as my lifestyle is not as active as it used to be during my university days. Despite the fact that I still go for weekly badminton sessions, it never seems to compensate the amount of sitting and facing the computer every day at work. #fatlifeisahappylife
Had a few injuries, but the most serious injury was spraining both my right and left ankle within the same year. It was also my first fresh sprain on my left ankle. How unlucky can that be?
Ever since I started working, I’ve gained 4kg’s!! This is pretty depressing, as my lifestyle is not as active as it used to be during my university days. Despite the fact that I still go for weekly badminton sessions, it never seems to compensate the amount of sitting and facing the computer every day at work. #fatlifeisahappylife
Had a few injuries, but the most serious injury was spraining both my right and left ankle within the same year. It was also my first fresh sprain on my left ankle. How unlucky can that be?
18. Became a bridesmaid for the first time
A few weddings to attend to this year, and many of the few
requires me to travel outstation.
From those few weddings, one of them requires me to be their bridesmaid. Although we're somewhat strangers, it is truly a blessing to witness the blessing of a parent/sibling for their child’s marriage. I believe the hardest part is theoretically giving the daughter away to join the groom’s family, because it’s like giving away someone you love so much to someone who loves the person more than you.
From those few weddings, one of them requires me to be their bridesmaid. Although we're somewhat strangers, it is truly a blessing to witness the blessing of a parent/sibling for their child’s marriage. I believe the hardest part is theoretically giving the daughter away to join the groom’s family, because it’s like giving away someone you love so much to someone who loves the person more than you.
19. Graduated
After completing my SPM few years ago, I told my family and myself that I die, DIE, DIE also don’t want to study at Sunway University as it is so expensive (that's exactly what I said over here too!). Who would have known that few years later, I was DYING to complete my degree studies in Sunway University Business School. Although all my friends had graduated before me, I knew that some success can only be made alone. I literally crawled my way to the finish line and achieved my 2nd Upper Class Honours I’ve worked so hard for. When I descended the stage, it was that moment that I realize that it was the last moment that I’ll ever feel like a university student again, but it was the best moment of all.
20. Represented my brand for a newspaper cover
The last time I ever appeared on newspaper was in 2011.
Somehow, that doesn’t seem too far away. Moving on to my working life, I guess I
would see myself in newspapers quite often, but only for a different reason. It
feels weird to be under the spotlight again. To read about my appearance on the newspaper article, click here.
21. Achieved my dreams to complete my first 10km run
As my brand provides a majority of sponsorships to sport
events, I get to attend free runs as well (but of course not all the time).
Attended the 10km Puma Night Run without any training whatsoever. It was the
most memorable experience because I had to run under the heavy rain from the
start and all the way to the finish line. The rain was the biggest reason that
pushed me to keep going, even though I was pretty dam scared of the lightning
and thunderstorms. Plus, I received a pair of Puma sports shoe as a sponsor appreciation
gift for free! #happiness
22. Drove to Genting Highlands for the first time
Feeling much more responsible as a driver now, but the best
part was being able to spend some quality time with the mothers from two(2)
generations. Have been going up to Genting quite often this year. Maybe it has officially
become my favourite place to ponder on my thoughts and feelings.
* * *
Today (or more like 6 days ago lol), I turned 23.
Chapter 22.16: The Girl Who Was Never Happy
By steambunz - Thursday, September 10, 2015
There was once a girl who waits outside the bus stop everyday after work. She has been taking the public transport for many years, but the girl was never once seen to be happy. The girl would never smile, laugh, or giggle, like the other commuters.
A little boy, who also boards the same bus as the girl, noticed this sad girl everyday and couldn't help himself to wonder why this girl was feeling sad. One day, out of his curiosity, he talks to the girl.
"Why do you look so sad?" ask the little boy.
The girl look surprise. "Me? Sad? Since when?"
"Since every single day of your life!! You haven't been smiling or laughing for quite some time, or maybe for a very long time," said the boy. "Don't you ever feel happy once in your life? Is everything okay? Do you need help? You're not undergoing some suicidal thoughts, are you?"
The girl look at the boy weirdly for a few minutes, and then, smile, for the first time.
It was the first time in his life to see her smile, and it was the sweetest heart-melting smile he has ever seen!
"Doesn't mean I don't smile, or laugh, doesn't mean that I'm sad," said the girl. "There are times I'm not at the situation to be happy, but there are also days where I'll laugh my ass off!"
The girl pause and look away. "I am happy with myself and everything. I am not sad either. It's just that you need to see me in those days when I'm truly feeling happy. You haven't seen those days when I'm truly am happy."
The girl turn to look at the little boy.
"Don't worry, boy. I'm not sad. You just need to see me in those times when I'm not sad! I am happy! You just need to see me in those time when I'm truly am!"
1.40am.
Exactly 3 hours and 25 minutes ago, that 38th IDC post-mortem meeting was adjourned.
I can't believe that when I was leaving the BGF building, I'm not leaving as a participant anymore, but as a committee.
So, how do I feel now that everything is over? To be honest...
Nothing.
I felt nothing. Not knowing sure why.
I wished I knew the reason myself.
Maybe because I felt so numbed after that small "incident" that happen in KCBA? As I recalled back, I was quite traumatized because I felt a sense of negative aura or something eerie lingering around, before the actual incident happen.
So many IF's I told myself:
What IF I had gone to the toilet myself, without Pui Yen accompanying me?
What IF I left my phone in the activity hall, and decided to go take it myself?
What IF I became so kepoci, and decided to go out the balcony to see what were the dogs barking at?
Holy flying fox... I can't imagine what will happen to me. Like, seriously.
However, what matter most is that I'm still alive and breathing :)
On the other hand, I was fully aware that I was really quiet and self-conserve throughout the whole camp. Maybe I was trying to observe my thoughts during this different environment with different people, especially with so many things going on at the same time.
Perhaps, I was just being me.
* * *
"Why can't I put more than one colours into my glitter jar?" I asked.
"Because... you can only choose one," she said.
"But why can't I choose all?"
No one dared to answer.
Somehow, I felt a little bit disappointment because it wasn't a valid answer that I wanna accept. Okay, since I can't have all the colours, then, I'm gonna put 4 full spoons of this pink colour!
"Siew Lin!! That's too much!! 1 scoop it's enough!!" someone exclaimed.
Ish! Got caught red-handed. Feeling sad, I scooped back the liquid back into the container.
"Siew Lin!! That's too much!! 1 scoop it's enough!!" someone exclaimed.
Ish! Got caught red-handed. Feeling sad, I scooped back the liquid back into the container.
"Does the colours signify anything?" I questioned her further, somehow feeling annoyed because I can't have my own way.
She shrugged. "Don't know? Maybe it signifies the direction or goal that you want to focus in life? I think so la."
I began to ponder.
So does that mean that if I put many colours into my jar, it signifies that I'm being too ambitious and too greedy? Everything that I want, I must have in life?
*
"Sis.Ching Wi...?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think it's okay to be greedy? I mean, it's normal for human beings to be greedy, right? Especially when it comes to materialistic stuffs."
"Hmm.... "
"But, sometimes I find myself being too greedy when it comes to experience. I'm always greedy to learn everything and anything, and if there's something that I've never done it before, I would always want to learn it. Is that a bad thing?"
"Well... I think it's okay to be greedy when it comes to learning. As long as it makes you a better, and more positive person, right? There are endless opportunities to learn in life, so I believe there isn't a period when a person stops learning, because experiences helps you grow."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My.... My, my name is...," she stammered.
Suddenly, she avoided my eyes and shy-fully took her balloon and covered her face, and quietly said:
"But my mummy said not to talk to strangers."
"I didn't wish to be alone," says the 26-year old girl. "I travelled to so many countries around the world, met so many people, and done so many crazy shit with strangers, but yet I'm still alone.
"Don't get me wrong, I do have a family, and a few besties, but even when you're surrounded by people, it's still possible to feel lonely."
"Because in life, that happens. No matter how much you love the people around you, or how much they love you, there are still people who are gonna leave."
With small but quick steps, she quietly went around the corner of a secluded park. The big pine tree helped to blocked her from the public view. With one last glance, to ensure that no one was looking, she pulled her pink hoodie over her head, and finally lied down on the pale, dry grass.
Placing her hands on top of her stomach, she heaved a huge sigh as she looked up at the empty skies.
There were no sounds, only the sound of her continuous heartbeat can be heard.
She closed her eyes to absorb the quietness around her.
Her body relaxed, and her mind filled with serenity.
"Finally." She thought to herself. "This was something that I wanted to do in a long time. To lie back down on the grass and look up at the sky, and to be at internal bliss."
"So, any questions?" the interviewer asked finally, after a 10 minute interview with us.
Both me and another candidate shook our heads lightly. "Nope," I said.
Actually I do. A lot actually, I thought to myself. There were a lot of uncertainties in my mind, but I thought it would be inappropriate to ask so many questions in just one interview.
"Great! If no, then I would like to dismissed the interview," the interviewer said as he stood up from his seat. "But before that, I would like to have a few moments with Susan for awhile. Just for 5 seconds. So Fariq, thanks for coming for the interview, we would contact you when you're shortlisted for the job."
Wait. What? Did he say he wants to speak privately with me?! I thought. He isn't going to offer me the job right away, right? Isn't it too soon?
The interviewer shook Fariq hands, said his thanks, and walked out the door. The door closed lightly behind him.
"Susan, I just want to have a bit of your time. Just 5 seconds," he said as he sat back down in his seat.
"Yeah, sure," I said.
"I noticed something about your behaviour, and I find it.... well.... a bit too much," he said, smiling. Clearly, his face looked a little bit displeased. "So I thought that this advice that I'm gonna give you might help you in your future."
I sat quietly in my seat, feeling afraid that he's going to say something which I wasn't sure of.
Oh noooo..... What did I do wrong this time? I thought to myself, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"I noticed that your tongue is moving around too much, and your body as well. I think it's a bit too much. So I just wanna know....."
Before he could finish his sentences, I immediately sat back and laughed, politely.
原来是这样！(So it was about this!) I thought to myself.
"Oh no, sir! I think it's because of my braces," I said, delightfully, but yet feeling bashful at the same time. "I just got it done this year January!"
"Ahh... I see. No wonder. I understand now!" he said, smiling.
"I was trying to get water to drink because I was thirsty, that's why I was moving around so much!" I said, as I cover my mouth with the tip of my fingers. "I'm soooo sorry! I know that it's annoying! But I'm trying to get used to it, especially when it comes to speaking!"
“Ah. It’s fine. I just wanted to know, and at least I understand now,” he said.
“So that’s all you wanted to say to me? About my braces?”
“That’s all of it,” he said as he got up from his seat to open the door for me.
“I see. I thought you were going to talk to me something else other than that!” I said as I got up from my seat at the same time. “But thanks, thanks for letting me know. I appreciate feedback like this. I like feedbacks like this, no matter if it’s negative, because it helps me learn and grow.”
“I know,” he smiled. “Because you look like that kind of person that does.”
"I had a weird dream last night," said Pei Wen. "It's about a guy."
His eyes blinked with interest as he looked at Pei Wen, sitting opposite across the table. He sat up straight in his chair, resting his elbows on the table.
"Tell me about it! How weird is it? Is the guy handsome?" he teased.
Pei Wen bit her lip, looking uncertain whether to tell him about her dream.
"Well... it's not that weird actually...," said Pei Wen. "I think you know that person, just that I'm not sure whether you wanna listen to it."
"Tell me! Tell me!" he begged. "Is the story sweet? How's the beginning and the ending?"
"Fine...," Pei Wen sighed. "So the story goes like this..."
* * *
There was once a girl who fell deeply in love with a boy, but she didn't dare to confess her true feelings to him. She was afraid that it would destroy the friendship between the both of them, if he rejects. Wanting to confess her undying love for him, but also feeling afraid of being rejected, she decided to send him a love letter on Valentines Day.
During Valentines Day, she gave him the love letter. Inside the letter was her written confession about her feelings to him. However, when the boy opened the letter, he found out that the letter was actually blank! Not a single word or pen ink was shown on the letter! He felt confuse, but he didn't ask the girl any questions about the blank letter.
One day, the boy and girl went out together. They were both standing at the main entrance at the shopping mall, waiting to say goodbyes and go their separate ways. The girl ask the boy whether he had read the letter that she had given to him. The boy shook his head sadly and said no. The girl felt disappointed. She turned around, and started to leave.
"Wait!" the boy said.
The girl turned around to look at him.
"我可能开始喜欢了你了。怎么办呢?" he said in Chinese.
(I may be starting to like you. What should I do?)
The girl look at him with a blank facial expression, but she found those words very familiar.
The boy slowly walked towards her, avoiding her eye contact, feeling bashful.
He stood closely in front of her, and slowly entwined his fingers with hers, and said:
“这，就是我的答案。"
(This, is my answer.)
The girl smiled, and leaned her forehead against his chest.
“How did you found out the hidden message?” she asked. “It was written with a special magic ink.”
“I…,” he paused.
“I roasted the letter in the oven.”
* * *
“So, you are that girl?” Chuen asked.
“Don’t know. Maybe?” said Pei Wen. “Anyway, it’s just a dream. It’s not real…”
‘Although I want it to be’, said inside her heart.
“And who’s that guy?” Chuen asked. “Is it one of our friend? A superstar?!”
“Nope, but I think you saw him before. He’s someone you know.”
“Walao! Give some hint lerh!” he begged. “Is it Chim Ming? Hong Jun? Yin Wen? En Rong?”
Pei Wen laughed. “Whatever answer you're gonna give me, I won’t give you a direct answer.”
Chuen threw her a face, and continued guessing.
* * *
Oh, you dummy! That guy was actually you all along. ♥
