"I want a helium balloon," Recci whines.
The whole group stared at her.
"Come on Recci... Are you still a kid?" one of her friends added.
"But... I just want one...," Recci frowns.
The group continues chatting about something else. Oblivious to the others, Recci noticed another group of amateurs chatting happily and loudly. They were all holding strings of helium balloons. Recci slumps back into her seat, watching them. The group started cheering and encoring about something, which slowly fades into small chuckles and laugher.
Recci notices a red helium balloon, motionlessly floating across the ceiling of the hall.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
And, now, she kept eyeing on it.
"I want...," Recci points hopelessly at the floating balloon. Sitting up-straight in her seat, but she was too weak to move.
But her friends seemed oblivious to Recci's wants.
On the other end of the table, Kenny watched on. He looks like he was thinking of something.
Out of nowhere, Kenny stood up from his seat and manage to grab onto the ends of the broken balloon string. He did it with ease, and he thoughtlessly gave the red balloon to Recci.
Recci smile with joy!
"Thank you!" Was all she could say, and nothing else could replace her heart filled with internal bliss!
She held onto the balloon, tugging onto the string as if it were a flying kite.
And she felt something. The undescribable feeling of something in her heart. Something that is itching and crying inside of her, but it was a good feeling.
It's either because of the balloon. Or him.
And the best part is, no one knows.
I don't usually have many friends. Even though if I do, out of the millions, I only hold a few closed to my heart.
I have a loyal heart. A very, very loyal heart.
If I were to be your BEST friend, you would FOREVER be my best friend, and I would always hold you closed to my heart.
The kind of friendship that I usually treasure is usually an closed and personal one. If I have secrets and things I would wanna share, you would be that 1 and only person. Because I don't wish to open up my heart to everyone I meet. It's tiring.
What I usually dislike is when I hang out with my closed friends, they bring in extra 'people' into the group.
Just when I want to catch up with you, you bring in new people for me to know them.
I hate that.
I only wished to know you better, not NEW people better.
So, if you are my friend, please...
Do. Not. Ever. Do. That.
They always say,"a picture is worth a thousand words" which is kinda true, but sometimes we tend to misunderstand people sometimes, which make us jump into conclusions without knowing the real facts.
I accidentally bump into this picture this evening. At first glance of the picture, snapped during Vancouver's hockey riots (2011), it shows a young couple lying on the road and kissing, oblivious to the chaos around them.
Some of you might be thinking "their crazy!!" or " their a bunch of immature amateurs!!", but the real story behind this picture was actually not what you think it is.
Alex Thomas and boyfriend, Scott Jones was knocked to the ground by riot police after attending the Stanley Cup playoffs. Alex was injured in the riot, and Scott layed down next to her to comfort her. The camera manage to capture the picture of Scott, giving Alex a kiss on her cheek to calm her down because she started acting hysterically.
The picture taken by Canadian photographer Richard Lam became a global sensation – appearing in the media, shared on Facebook and tweeted around the world – and looked set to take its place as one of the world's most iconic kiss photographs.
Now, I'd say, that's true love :)
It's 3.13am now as I type this post.
Gosh. I told myself to not start tearing up again, but here I am, bawling like a little baby.
*sigh* I don't usually type my whole life story emotions here, but I'm just gonna do it once to let it all out.
Countdown Time: 20 hours till Year 2013
* * *
Recently, I met up with her, after like... 1-3months or so? I'm not really sure, I was too busy in my events and studies that I didn't really keep track of time. The time where I usually spend some quality time with the girls. The usual busy me, something which I don't really like myself anymore.
So, I met her. I saw her. Sitting on a familiar guy's lap, arms around him.
It's my first time seeing her with a guy.
Oh, him? Yeah. I met him before. Definitely. I knew they were together.
She saw me. Yeah, she definitely did.
But instead of her coming to hug me (or maybe I was reminiscing too much? lol), she didn't even bother to stand up to give a proper greeting, or... not even a hug? Even after 1-3 months for not meeting up?
She'd changed. Definitely. Her behaviour and all.
She's the same old girl that I know, but not the same girl that I recognize. Anymore.
*
Seeing her sharing her life with another part of hers, makes me sad yet happy for her.
Not sure which came first. I guess it was sadness.
I definitely saw it coming, but it came too soon. Maybe I wasn't ready yet?
Sad, because she won't be sharing her problems with me anymore.
(Well, actually, she stop sharing since we entered Uni... Hmm...)
Mesmerizing the times where we shared our darkest, deepest secrets together.
Our feelings. Our thoughts. Our opinions. Our complains.
Sad, because I won't be the main reason she finds and spends much quality time with me anymore.
The times where we usually hangout in our usual shopping mall, MidValley.
Shopping. Teasing. Bullying. Pushing. Laughing.
Sad... because I won't be there for her anymore.
Yet, I'm happy for her.
That she finally found the right one (or so to say).
*
As we grew up in life, people walk in and out in our lives.
And sadly to say, we usually walk out of our friend's life once they have found their right partner.
Not completely out of our lives, but sometimes friends do keep in touch, but it's not as often as you usually do anymore. They'll be busy taking care of their children, house chores, preparing meals, working, etc. Hence, leaving not much time for friends.
I watch my mother as she sleeps, and I wondered, whether she still meet up with her closed friends anymore.
I doubt that she did. Seeing her work everyday, barely spending much time with us at home. She only has us, her children.
*
I'm not sure whether you're still reading this now. But if you do, I just wanna let you know, that you'll always be my friend. Through ups and downs that we've been through all these years, and even if I didn't spend much time as we usually do after we've entered Uni, you're still my trusted friend.
I hope you're happy with him. As he'll be taking part of my job, as his job, to comfort, scold, laugh, talk, cry, and cheer you up. May the both of you be happy always being together, to overcome ups and downs together, etc.
Now's the time, where I'm leaving you to walk your own path, together with him.
I've gotta let you go, and move on with my life. But just to let you know, that I'll always be there for you when you need me, to my dear friend, Sara Nui Kuan Yee.
It's my 2nd time being part of this year's D2YC. Well, I gotta say it's a total different experience this year for me, as the organizing system is different, there's lesser things I'm in charge of, and there's a new generation batch of participants this year.
Honestly, I personally think that the programs were quite good this year, but somehow, there are some mistakes here and there which disrupts the program flow. I think because of that, I felt quite emotionally disturbed throughout the whole camp. I think I tried to voiced it out during the first meeting, but it only ended up with me, in an embarrassing awkward moment. So, I thought "I guess it was just me".
* * *
Personal Emotions
The first 2 days came and go, it was nothing much. I was kinda free most of the time. The last 3 days were quite emotional for me, not sure why. I guess it started after I had a personal talk with Bro.Haw Lun. We were talking about my family, more personally towards my father. I guess the committees had already suspected that I had so many cars driven to temples. lol. I made a confession that I wasn't really certain about his job, and I tried numerous times to convinced my father to not waste so much money on things which we don't really need. I went almost into tears when he told me,"It's okay. I can see he really loves you. So, do appreciate him."
And I kept quiet, and silently cried inside my heart.
* * *
Dodge Ball
Somehow, I managed to found out my new talent after the dodge ball game, where I represented the committees to play against the girl participants. I think I was too engrossed into the game, that I even fell against the floor, hard, trying to dodge a ball. lol. I personally wanted to give up when I was all alone during the last match. But, somehow my heart tells me not to, after hearing their voices, their guidance, their cheers... which in the end, we won. I can't believe it myself either lol, was trying to make the puzzle pieces in my head make sense, while I stoned there. Until everyone came to group hug me, than it finally make sense. Well, I guess I got myself a new hobby now, I think. lol...
* * *
Mahapuja and Candle Night
Mahapuja went pretty well. Would personally like to thank Bro.Shashi for his guidance and his help. And thank goodness that the Yin Ching just arrived in time before the session started, and thank goodness that the sky was in our favour that night. Thanks to Sis.Jacqueline, Bro.Jonathan, Sis.Stephanie, Sis.JiaYin, Sis.Meng Xi, Bro.WeiEn, and Bro.WeiWing for helping me out with the candle lighting, candle judging, offerings, etc. I personally think it went really well, which includes the puja, passing of offerings, meditation, etc. Accept there were some minor mistakes with the cushion arrangements and a little too quick in one of the closing salutation bowings.
Candle night on the other hand, was a little bit out of hand, I think. I wasn't really ready with my personal stories and some explanations were quite rushed. In fact, there weren't much of elaboration on certain points which I wanted to emphasized on. Most videos were not shown as planned before, and due to the time constraint, the activity almost took up 2hours. And, I guess I was being too serious throughout the activity. But I would like to thank Bro.Sean for giving such a splendid idea on the candle night, but a big mistake was that, not many participants knew it was a candle night. =.=
Anyway, received a few good feedbacks on the activity. Participants knew what their dream was, and received the necessary feedbacks they need from their groupmates to achieved their dream. Thus, I really hope the participants will achieved what they set out to achieved after my session. Would like to thank Sis.Stephanie and Bro.HawLun as well for their help, guidance and encouragement, couldn't have done it without you by my side. Thanks to Bro.Ron and Bro.Chris for helping with the burning obstacle paper thingy. We didn't set the temple on fire at least. lol.
Hence, there's still room for improvement for this activity.
* * *
Participants
This year's participants was completely different compared to previous years. What touches me the most is when the participants said their thank you's in a whole big group during the last day in camp. Really felt appreciated and touched by them, as I don't really recall any batch of participants doing that in previous camps.
During the closing ceremony, I almost went into tears again when the participants spend so much time doing group cheers, hugging each other, and as well as the committees. In previous years, participants would just go off without saying proper goodbyes or anything. I told myself in my heart, "we have finally did it. D2YC'12 was a success, and we manage to groom these few participants to be different, with loving-compassion and loving-kindness."
Personally, I think each and every one of them was quite awesome. :)
* * *
D2Y
Hence, this marks another year for me in D2YC. It's been 2 years since I've joined D2Y. D2Y has been a platform for me to experienced all my 'first-times'. The first time I joined my first badminton competition. The first time I organized a charity project. The first time I became a camp secretary. The first time I sang in public. The first time I plan for programs.
And the first time I found myself.
I ensure you, 'these' people just want me to sell Char Siew Pork for a living.
-.- Right.
-.- Right.
I can't believe another year has passed, when it actually felt like it was just a few months ago when I just won my first competition: MTV Exit Bold Lipstick. Year 2012 has been a remarkable year for me. Where at this stage, I've experience a lot of failures, hardships, success, conflicts, and whatnots. It is indeed a busiest year for me, and it is predicted to be so in the next few years of my career life.
1. Organizing Dhammaduta Youth Camp 2011
Having the privilege to be part of the organizing committee, and to successfully experience and organize an annual Buddhist camp. It was definitely a mind-blowing experience. Plus, it had brought me closer to some of the main committees in D2Y.
Moral of the story: I cannot live without meat.
Now, I believe it's the time where I need to self-reflect on the things I did while I was still 19. So, here goes the list of 19 things that I did while I was 19...
* * *
1. Organizing Dhammaduta Youth Camp 2011
Having the privilege to be part of the organizing committee, and to successfully experience and organize an annual Buddhist camp. It was definitely a mind-blowing experience. Plus, it had brought me closer to some of the main committees in D2Y.
2. Failed a subject in University, twice.
Before you go on judging me because of my failure, let me just let you know that I had really tried my best to study for this particular subject. Principles of Finance. The first time I failed was because I couldn't manage my own time, as I priotize my events more than my exams. This really gave me a wake up call. The second time I failed was because I neglected certain calculations, didn't practise enough calculations, and never slept for 24hours the day before the paper. It was really the worst experience ever. I admit, the paper wasn't hard at all, it was because of 1 simple mistake of mine which I neglected that caused me to go into serious depression.
During my consultation with Mr.Victor, my programme chairperson, regarding about my problem. I broke down in tears in front of him. "This is my biggest failure in my education life," I cried. And I cried the next day, and the next, and the next... It was my biggest downfall in life.
So, one thing that I learn from this experience, is to never neglect anything in my studies. And I pretty well learn my lesson.
3. Returned as a working waitress in Pastis as my 3rd part-time job experience
Discovered that I'm more suitable for jobs that will keep on me on my feet. I like being busy. It helps me lose track of time. Plus, great working colleagues, great working environment, so-so salary, and great TIPS.
4. Went on a family trip to China
A 1 week trip to my mother tongue land, which I couldn't get a good grip of the language myself. lol.
Great place! Love the weather, the historical buildings and the cheap things sold there, but really dislike the sellers there. Got cheated and pick-pocketed. But still, overall a good experience! =)
5. Went for my first D2Y Chinese New Year Carolling
6. Went for my first D2Y Committee Appreciation Trip
Although the trip could have been planned better, I somehow grew close to some of them and got to know some of their 'secrets'.... hehe :p
7. Being vegetarian for 1 week
Moral of the story: I cannot live without meat.
8. Gave my first orientation speech to the new intake students of Sunway University Business School
Sharing my university experience in front of hundreds of people for the first time. Nerve-wrecking but I totally nailed it, I think. Haha...
9. Gotten my first saman ticket
I didn't even knew it was an illegal parking spot. Have been parking at the same place for 1 year! Anyway, as a good citizen, I paid off the saman! :p
10. Experienced how it was like being half-deaf
Had an ear infection on the right ear which prevents me from hearing anything. It really made me appreciate the noises, sounds, and musics around me more after that experience.
11. Attended a 5km "Run For Education" run and was one of Top 20 females
Biggest achievement that I wished to achieve since Form 1, and it's finally fulfilled! But somehow, I was pretty lucky though. I was at the 19th spot. lol...
12. Successfully organized D2Y first charity trip event
It was my first time organizing an event, and it was definitely an incredible experience! A charity trip which consists about 30 orphanage children, and 40 helpers/committees on the 14th April, Sunday. Went through pain, work, hardship and sweat to make this event together with my supporting committees.
13. 'Accidentally' nominated as an Assistant Secretary of Sunway University Business School Student Concilium
Whether you call it an accident or fate, I'm really thankful to be in the Student Concilium. It has probably made me for who I am today, and it definitely made me closer to some of the BAF students and the committee board. Although there were conflicts and miscommunication between some of us, the experience is definitely worth it =)
14. Donated blood for the first time
Still, a better blood sucking story than Twilight.
15. Got involved in a hit-and-run incident
Oh yes. You think I forgotten you, huh? Oh no, I know you. WVA 1991.
And I will hunt you down, someday. And if I don't, hope your car tyre kena stolen.
16. Sprained my ankle for the second time
I think it's trying to tell me to slow down on rough activities. Yeah, I definitely think so too :(
17. Organized a charity run for the first time
Have been to many outdoor sports events and it has been always my dream to organize one. And it finally came true!! Although I'm not the main organizer, but I was put in charge of the logistics. Met a lot of new people, gave an awesome volunteer briefing presentation, conflicts, hardships, miscommunication sweat, etc., but it was all definitely worth it.
18. Attended my first concert
Not exactly like a concert, but it's more like an award winning ceremony. Attended the 8TV Shout Awards! recently and I had a pretty bad experience with the people at the rock pit zone. But still, at least I still get to see a lot of handsome guys :p
19. Say goodbye to my P-driving license
Oh yeah!!! Watch out everybodehhhhh!!! A mad crazy driver is on the lose!!!
Today, I just turned 20.
If I told you, that I have a crush on him,
would you believe me?
If I told you, that he's the one for me,
will you let him go, and let him be?
If I told you, that I won't let him go,
will you give him to me?
I am beautiful.
I really am =)
You know, after some time, I really thought about it.
My face, I mean.
I really think there's no point being so negative about my imperfect face.
I'm gonna be stuck with this face for the rest of my life, so must as well make the best out of it.
I believe if I stop living my life in denial, I'll live a better life than anyone else.
I'm gonna love my imperfect face. Because it's beautiful =)
I believe if I'm more confident in myself, no matter how many people sees me, they wouldn't judge me because of my imperfect face, they would judge me based on my personality and confidence.
Since then, every time I look at myself in the mirror.
I always tell myself...
that I'm beautiful =)
