Please don't come any closer to me.
I don't wanna get close to you.
I don't wanna know you any better.
I don't wanna let myself to you.
Because I'm scared.
I'm scared, that I'll fall in love with you.
So, please. Let us just stay this way.
This same distance.
As friends.
Because I know, that I'm not what you want.
FAIL
I spend most of the time being alone. It's not a very sad thing as I find it very beneficial to me. Whether I'm walking, standing, waiting, etc. Whenever I'm alone, I will go deep into thoughts. It's the best time for me to reflect on the things I did.
3 things I will usually reflect on.
Past. Present. Future.
Firstly, I will think about myself.
The things I did in the past. The things that I've achieved. And the things that I can do to push myself further.
Secondly, I will think about my family.
The events that had occurred in the past. My current family situation. And the things that I can give to my family in the future.
I will also think about my friends/colleagues/teachers/lecturers.
I think about the things that made them happy. I will think what's good for them.
I will also reflect on the things that my teacher/lecturer had taught that day. Whether the teachings are correct or incorrect? Whether it will be useful in the future?
Lastly, I will think about the society's well being and the planet.
What can I do to contribute to the society? What can I do to help the people who are in need? How to make a difference in the society? Where can I start?
***
I don't think it's really a meditation process. Many say it is but I'm pretty much sure it's an early stage of self-actualization. I'm not quite there yet, it's still a long way to go. Which requires more worldly knowledge and strong sense of spiritualness.
I will, one day, be a spiritually strong person based on my own beliefs.
Zhu Yingtai is a beautiful and intelligent young woman, the only daughter of the wealthy family. Although traditions of that era discourage females from going to school, Yingtai manages to convince her father to allow her to attend classes in disguise as a young man.
During her journey to Hangzhou, she meets Liang Shanbo, a poor but hard-working scholar. They chat and feel a strong affinity for each other at their first meeting. However, they treated each other like brothers. They study together for the next three years in school and Yingtai gradually falls in love with Shanbo. Shanbo begins to suspect YingTai to be gay when he accidentally discovers some of Yingtai's secrets. But he is still unaware of the feminine characteristics exhibited by his classmate.
One day, YingTai receives a letter from her father, asking her to return home as soon as possible. YingTai has no choice but to pack her belongings immediately and bid ShanBo farewell. Before her departure, she reveals her true identity to ShanBo. ShanBo was not surprise that YingTai was a women as he had figured it out much earlier. ShanBo promises YingTai that he will ask her hand in marriage after he becomes an official. They are devoted to and passionate about each other and they make a vow of "till death do us part".
A few months later, ShanBo becomes a government official and reunites with YingTai during one of his visits. ShanBo offers to have YingTai's hand in marriage. However, YingTai's parents have already arranged for her to marry a man from a rich family. YingTai's parents did not approve of ShanBo's proposal to YingTai as he was just a lower rank of a government official.
ShanBo plans to take YingTai away one night. But he was caught and beaten up. YingTai was banned from seeing ShanBo ever again and was locked up in her room. ShanBo is heartbroken and his health gradually deteriorates until he becomes critically ill. He dies in office later as a county magistrate.
YingTai was heartbroken when she heard the news of ShanBo's death. On the day of YingTai's marriage, mysterious whirlwinds prevent the wedding procession from escorting the bride beyond ShanBo's grave, which lies along the journey. YingTai leaves the procession to pay her respects to ShanBo. She descends in bitter despair and begs for the grave to open up.
Suddenly, the grave opens with a clap of thunder. Without further hesitation, YingTai throws herself into the grave to join ShanBo. Their spirits turn into a pair of beautiful butterflies and emerge from the grave. They fly together as a pair and are never to be separated again.
***
If you love sappy love stories, try watching The Lovers. The storyline is the same as the Butterfly Lovers but the way the actors contributes to the story is really cute! This movie was filmed back in 1995 but it is really worth watching.
You can watch the whole movie on YouTube!! You should really watch it! :D
I went to watch a movie alone this afternoon. After coming out from the theatre, I went to the wash-room.
I entered the wash-room and than I realize, that there was a huge change to the females' wash-room. (I usually used the Sunway Pyramid's toilet more often, that's why I'm familiarize with the changes).
"Wah! They renovated the female toilet until so nice!" I thought to myself.
No one was inside. There was a four-wall mirror in the middle of the room. So, I took my time to do my hair.
I almost entered to one of the cubicles, until I saw a row of urinal bowls.
"Wah! Now also they install men urinal bowls in the female toilet also! Must be for the transgender!" I thought again.
Until I realize, I was actually in the male toilet. -_________-
Decided to try and make my own T-shirt design.
But, it failed miserably.
I sprayed too much on one spot that it made a HUGE smudge one a spot. It was so terrible, it ended in failure. I felt very dissapointed because I wasted RM15 in total for the spray can and plain T-shirt.
Project failed.
Have been working for the past 2 weeks and I'm really tired of working as a sales assistant. Even though the job is not that difficult and it's easier to earn fast cash, I still don't find it enjoyable to work there. This is because of the long working hours that I have to work.
Have been working full time for 4 days per week from 9am to 10pm. Even with the 2 hour breaks, I spend most of my time sleeping after my meals. I had my meals alone most of the time.
Thus, I feel like I've gained weight and I've learned nothing much from this job experience. To be honest, I don't find it as enjoyable as my first job. The only thing I've learnt is being able to fold clothes 10 times faster than a normal human being -.-
I barely speak much to my colleagues because they are all Cantonese speaking, and my Cantonese is not that good. So, I communicate with them in Chinese-English. I have really nice colleagues and I'm lucky to have them. They'll cover my back to prevent me from getting into the blame by my supervisor.
My supervisor is another story. I don't really like her much because she never thinks of people's feeling when she scolds people. She's stricter than my high school discipline teacher. Although I find her jokes quite cold, mean and funny, I still don't really like her. Maybe, I haven't know her long enough yet.
Working makes me so tired, I couldn't even think properly while writing this post out. It makes me cherish studying more than anything else at the moment.
Just by then, I just hope this will end soon.
Oh God, please grant me patience and strength to endure this for 4 more days....
Have been working full time for 4 days per week from 9am to 10pm. Even with the 2 hour breaks, I spend most of my time sleeping after my meals. I had my meals alone most of the time.
Thus, I feel like I've gained weight and I've learned nothing much from this job experience. To be honest, I don't find it as enjoyable as my first job. The only thing I've learnt is being able to fold clothes 10 times faster than a normal human being -.-
I barely speak much to my colleagues because they are all Cantonese speaking, and my Cantonese is not that good. So, I communicate with them in Chinese-English. I have really nice colleagues and I'm lucky to have them. They'll cover my back to prevent me from getting into the blame by my supervisor.
My supervisor is another story. I don't really like her much because she never thinks of people's feeling when she scolds people. She's stricter than my high school discipline teacher. Although I find her jokes quite cold, mean and funny, I still don't really like her. Maybe, I haven't know her long enough yet.
***
Working makes me so tired, I couldn't even think properly while writing this post out. It makes me cherish studying more than anything else at the moment.
Just by then, I just hope this will end soon.
Oh God, please grant me patience and strength to endure this for 4 more days....
Remember the China earthquake which took place in the year 2008? It was such a tragedy which killed thousands of people, especially at areas such as Sichuan. Most of them were children and students, just like our age. When I heard the news back then, I was indulge with the games from the internet.
I was browsing through my old e-mails and came across an e-mail with comic strips of the China earthquake.
Would like to share these with my friends and readers. And as you read, I hope that you'll read it mindfully and think about the things which are happening in this world.
These comic strips were originally done by Coco Wang. You should check out his website!!
I was browsing through my old e-mails and came across an e-mail with comic strips of the China earthquake.
Would like to share these with my friends and readers. And as you read, I hope that you'll read it mindfully and think about the things which are happening in this world.
These comic strips were originally done by Coco Wang. You should check out his website!!
This is stupid. It's already mid July and now, I'm just starting to write about my experience in Camp-X, which was like, one month ago? -.-
It was one of the hardest decision I've made but after attending this camp, I never regretted going. And it has made me for who I am today.
One of the events that I enjoyed most was exercising. The committees made us run everywhere!! The camping area was situated at the peak of the mountain area, so it was kinda hilly. It was really tiring but it made me more healthier :P Imagine doing this everyday, I'll be so freaking healthy!!
One of the activities that I find it not-that-enjoyable is the night activity. The committees planned a ghost night activity and it was actually kinda predictable about the game. Firstly, I know the name of the 'spirit' thing is fake. Secondly, I know there's gonna be a 'pop-up' ghost somewhere during the slideshow. Thirdly, committees will NEVER bring us to meet 'ghosts' inside the candle ring. -.-
Okay okay. It wasn't actually predictable but I had an instinct that's telling me something is fishy about the activity. The committees played it quite well.
I was the one who lead my team of 10 people into the jungle and around the camping area, in the dark. Bro.Wei Wing was our guide. The first station was Bro.Alex station. Tried to calm down the members as they were quite scared. Pity Allen who was the last person behind the group, he admitted he was actually scared. LOL. I admit, I was scared too, even when Bro.Wei Wing is in front of me. But after the first station, it wasn't scary any more. And I was like,"Argh! Let's get this over with it!!" -.-
Throughout the camping experience, I've learn how to voice out my opinions and speak up for myself. I took up responsibilities which I hadn't thought I could handle and I've learn how to get things done through people.
This sounds like I'm studying Management. But, that is actually what is the whole camp all about!! Not entirely, just some part.
***
A few weeks after Camp-X, some of my friends saw a tremendous change in me. I've been speaking a lot lately, with so many crappy opinions. I was no longer the timid Siew Lin I once was but somewhere inside me, I'm still am. I don't really like to talk A LOT unless it was a discussion matter.
Other than that, I've been wanting to mix with a lot of new people lately. I don't know why. I just had the eager to TALK to people and to know about their life and to share stories and experiences with them =.=
Thus, this sums up everything from Camp-X. I would like to thank D2YC and the committees for taking up so much hard work and time to organize an event like this. Thank you for all the sponsors and helpers who had contributed to make this event a success. And lastly, thank you to all my Kalya-Mitra friends, who was with me (or not) throughout my D2YC camping experience. You all are such wonderful friends! :)
