I can't...I repeat...caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't stand....screaming crazy ladies/girls when they SEE KOREAAAANN GUYZZZZZZZZ...

Ugh...how annoying...


Wonder why I don't see guys go screaming and shouting when they see korean girls? LOL?

I NEVER want to be one of them...
I hope I won't be one of them... ~_~


~~~


What's up with people who keep changing blog links?

Art Says It All

Me & Yean Lynn went window shopping at Carrefour on a wonderful Friday afternoon. Celebrating after the Trials.

We went in to a random shop and saw a row of art figures on display. With such magnificent and such beautiful pose of the figure, I was soooo inspired by it. This is what we saw.

If you had a great time with someone special...
Will you remember and keep it as a memory?

Some of you may, but what if those memories only bring back sadness and sorrow?

Sad, huh? It will always follow us no matter how hard we try to forget it until the day we reach our last destination, meeting face to face with God.

But, what if, the person loses it's memories and had a second chance to redo everything from the start? Making life so perfect the way it is. Is it nice to have a very perfect life? With no worries and frustrations?

This is what life have been for me. Which everything went well from the start, but ended tragically in the end.

This is how life have been for me.

This is how life have been, stuck with a decease since childhood.

This is how I will have a second chance in life to redo everything from the start.

But, nothing in this world is perfect.

Nothing.

~~~

"Ugh...stupid whiskey," I mumbled.

Walking out from the bar, placing my whole body against the wall for balance. My vision was a little blurry from those whiskies I just had. My eyes focused on a tall dark figure. I squint my eyes to have a better look at it.

"Andrew? Is that you," I asked, pointing my index finger at the dark figure.

There was no reply. The figure still stood there.

"Hey! I'm talking to you! Yah! You!" I said, louder this time.

Still, no reply. Not a single movement.

That son of a...

I pushed myself away from the wall, my arms swaying furiously in the air.
First he make my heart broke into pieces, now he appear right in front of me and ignored me? He don't deserve to be a man at all!

"Hey! Don't you dare ignore me Andrew! I'm talking to you!"

I walked furiously towards the dark skinny figure, ready to give some piece of my mind. How on earth had he gotten so skinny?!
That's it! I'm gonna bang that idiot down to the floor and...

*PANG!!!

"Gah!" I shouted in pain.

Something hard hit me across the face. The pain tingled me all over across my nose and forehead. I fell back onto the side walk, rubbing my forehead with my hand to ease the pain. I've just walked into a lamp post. Argh.
I slowly got up, holding onto the lamp post for support.

Oh great Cecelia. Fancy you banging into the lamp post!

Argh, it must be the alcohol, I thought to myself. Great! I'm being sober right now.

I swayed along the empty dark streets. Wherever I was going, I had no idea. Images were dancing right before me. I just need to escape from all 'these' things. It was just happening too fast. But why? Why is this happening to me? Why? Is life so that unfair?
Tears started rolling down from the side of my eyes. Tears turns to cries. I couldn't help myself anymore. The feeling is just too painful for me to take.

"Why? What did I do to deserve this? Why did you have to leave me? Why? I thought you'd promise me that you'll be there for me. Why Andrew? Why?!"

~~~

I don't know how long I've slept. But I was surrounded by darkness. I tried running away from it, but no matter where I ran to, how long I've ran, everything was just pitch black. I broke down and cry. I was alone. Lonely. Scared. I squeeze my eyes tightly. Wishing it that it was just a bad dream. I counted to 10 and open up my eyes.
And there I was, staring onto the ceiling of my bedroom. I sigh in relief. I look at the clock on my bedside table. It was 2pm. Last night incident came swimming back into my head.

There was a knock on my door. Even before I could answer, the door squeaked open and Nigel walk in, holding a tray of all sorts of medications and a glass of water.
He didn't look surprise at all, seeing me up in bed. He close the door behind him and walked over to my bedside, he settled down the tray.
He withdraws the curtain to the side, allowing the rays of sunlight to escape through the window into my poorly lighten bedroom.

What makes me curious about his attitude, is that he didn't say anything at all. That's so not like him. He walked to my bedside and started preparing the medications.
What I want to know is, what happen to Andrew last night? What exactly happen after I blacked out?
The questions kept repeating in my head. Over and over again like a spoiled player.

As if Nigel was reading the questions in my head. He finally answered," If you're wondering what happen last night after you knocked off with that decease of yours. Andrew went to talked with your father. And if you're thinking of any further questions to ask. I think it's better to talk to your father. For I do not know any further information. Andrew is fine."

Just like that, my questions was all answered. I took out my left hand , hiding beneath the blanket and place it on Nigel's hands.
  Nigel paused and looked at me in the eyes. The concern look on his face says everything.

I gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you..." I say.

Nigel sigh. "You should take care of yourself. Don't get too close to that boyfriend of yours. It'll just make your illness even worse."

Nigel. He is the only person in the family who gave me freedom. Not much freedom of course, according to my father orders that is. Although were are bound to not get too close to each other, for fear my illness will strike again, he still treats me with loving care like I'm his own daughter.

"I know Nigel. But, he is the only person whom I loved whole heartedly and..."
Before I could continue, my breath was cut off with a sharp pain in my chest. I held on onto Nigel's hands, trying to catch my breath. I was suffocating.

  Nigel quickly place a tablet into my hand and I quickly consume it without waiting for the water given to me. The pain in my chest slowly subsided and I was breathing normally again.

  Nigel sigh again and sat on my bed. "Is this really what you want? Is that man really worth living for and to make yourself suffer like this just for that man?"

"Yes, Nigel. I'm ever so sure in my life."

  Nigel got up from the bed and took the empty tray and walk towards the door. He paused and look down at the floor.

"Letting someone into your life is easy, but forgetting them and moving on is hard."

  Nigel left the room without looking back.

Wishing that I could have think twice before saying it, a silent sweet melody fills the room. My handphone was vibrating on my bedside. The screen flashing "Andrew".

My eyes lit up immediately and answer the phone.

"Hey..." I greeted.

"Hey. How are you feeling? Any better?"
Andrew's tender and warm voice fills back into my heart, forgetting the conversations Nigel and I just had.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Did any of those bodyguards harm you?"

"No. No. I'm fine. You should worry about yourself. I just had a talk with your father not long ago. Hey, listen," There was something in his voice which made me very curious,"erh...erm..."

"Yeah? What is it? Tell me."

"Erm...erh...I've forgotten what am I suppose to say...,"he hesitated.

"Ahaha!! Silly Andrew! So you call me just to say nothing? Well, I rather be talking to the wall instead of you. Ahaha"

"Hey!! Am I that bad?! Fine! Goodbye Cecelia...goodbye forever..."

"WAIT!"

"What now? I thought talking to a wall is better then talking to me? At least the wall can crack when I can't...or is it?"

Silence. I stopped giggling and sigh.

"I miss being with you...is that good enough?"

"Well, it isn't to me..."

"HEY!!! Fine Andrew! Goodbye forever..."

"WAIT!!!"

"What now?"

"I need you to do something for me..."

"If it's forgiving you. Then, never..."

"No, no. I need you to get dress and..."

"And what?," I cut in.

"and after that you give me a call."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"O-kay...but it might take some time though..."
I hung up.

Not a moment to lose, I quickly got myself dressed in a set of casual fitting clothes followed by a pair of flip flops.
I rang him.

"I assumed that you have finish dressing Madame Cecelia," he said, in a french essence tone.

"Ahaha. What's that all about?"

"Take a look out the window to find out."

I walked towards the window and took a look outside.
It was a peaceful afternoon. Peaceful indeed.
The neighbours children are all inside in their houses, playing. There was barely anyone walking around the neighbourhood. Except an elderly women talking to her neighbour about the latest gossip she heard and a young handsome familiar looking man with a rose in his hand while talking onto the phone with the other. He was grinning right at me. When only did I...

"OH MY CRACKERS!!!!" I gasp.

"Surprise?"

I hung up and sprinted out from my room and down the flight of stairs. Before the entrance gate could even open, I was already squeezing myself out from the opening gate and before I knew what I was actually doing, I flew into his arms.

"OFFFtt!"

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"
I quickly back away from him.
He got knock out from his breath.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Gosh, Cecelia. Did you gain any weight? That was a big force you have," he teased.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're here!! What brings you here,"I changed the subject.

"You."

"Me?"

"Of course you."
He glance at his watch.
"C'mon. Let's go."

"But, where are we going?"

"It's for me to know, and for you to find out. Hop on behind my bike."

Andrew had already hop onto his bicycle, patting onto the seat behind him.
I sat carefully behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist.

"A bicycle? What are you up to this time?"

"Don't laugh. I was forced to wash my dad undies just to borrowed his bicycle just to make this occasion special."

"WH-A...?!"

Before I could finish what I was saying, we took off. It started out smoothly and firmly.
Andrew got it all under control.

I felt the cool afternoon wind across my face. It felt great to feel free.
Free. With the one I love.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head onto his back.
The feeling was awesome.
It's like one of those love movie scenes in the show "Sky Of Love".
Sky Of Love.
Sky. Fly.
I felt like I was in the air.
I was flying.

And so I thought...

"Cecelia...Cecelia...wake up..."

Wait...could this be the scene where the boy would kiss me? Oh, this must be it!
Wait a minute...what is this soft grassy feeling I'm feeling now?

"Cecelia...wake up pighead..."

Pighead? Who you're calling me pighead?

I felt a small nudged on my blouse which turn into light shakes.
I gently open my eyes and found myself lying on the grass. I sat up on the grass. Andrew was squatting beside me.

I rubbed my head and felt a small bumped on it.
"What happen?"

"Well, let's see...you fell off the bike and knocked your head and I thought you were dead because you were not breathing at all. But I realise your breathing was shallow and I found out you're actually sleeping!! I tried to wake you up but you were still deep-asleep even after that fall, so I carried you in my back all the way here."

I felt my soul being drained out of me. I felt my eyeballs sticking out of my sockets.
Oh, yeah. Sexy you Cecelia. FALLING ASLEEP AND FALLING OFF A BIKE!!!
That. Is. NOT. ROMANTIC. THAT IS NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL.

I've must have rolled myself into a ball. Hiding my face with my knees, feeling humiliated.
I felt Andrew hand into mine and nudged me.

"Don't feel so bad. There was once, I fell asleep in the school toilet and what makes it worse was, that my pants got stolen by those 8th graders in school. I had to walk all the way towards the Principal office with only my boxers. Ahaha..."

That didn't change the feeling I'm feeling now. But, it make me feel a bit better.

"C'mon, I want to show you something."

I got up, with my head still down. Andrew led the way. I didn't know where was I being led, but it felt like we were on a hill. The sun was soon setting when he suddenly stop at his tracks.

"Look,"he said.

I took a glance up. Amaze I was, I was staring at the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. The mixed coloured of the sunset was just breath taking! The clouds were all shaped with different kind of shapes with red linings which was scattered by the sun. It was just beautiful.
I was lost in words. I just held on to his hands and stare at the sun setting.
As soon as darkness took place, the city was surrounded with lights. Lights that shimmer in the dark beautiful city and the stars twinkling in the dark skies.

I felt so light. I felt all my humiliation being lifted up and being blown away by the wind. I felt my head against his shoulder as I lean closer to him.

Somehow, I felt the pain in my chest again. No. I won't let you ruin my special moment. Not today. Not now.

"Cecelia...I need to tell you something...something very important...," Andrew broke off the silent.

"What is it?"

"It's...it's about you...and your decease..."

The tone of his sad voice jolt me up from my comfortable situation. There is something wrong.
I look deep into his eyes, searching for an answer.

"Last night, your father told me about your decease since childhood," he said,"why? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because..."

"Because of what?"

I hesitate.

"Because....it...it was nothing,"I murmured.

"This illness of yours it's just not nothing. It's...," he paused and sigh deeply.
"I just don't want anything to happen to you..."

I felt touched by his word and held onto his hand.

"There is no cure...is there," Andrew ask, looking at the bright lighted cities.

"As far as I could remember...the decease only strikes when I'm close to someone special...," I said softly.

There was a long silence after that.

"If that's so...then I must do something about it...," Andrew said.

He turned to face me. And as if everything was moving in a slow motion, Andrew moved his hands around my waist and pulled me into a hug. So softly and gently that I could feel every move of his. He hug me so tight that neither one of us move nor speak.

When he finally release me, he turned his back around.

"Cecelia...I'm doing what's best for you...but...,"he paused,"...our relationship will have to stop here."

"Wha-? What are you talking about Andrew? This is no joke matter."

"Cecelia. I want to end this relationship. I'm bored with it. I want a break up."

~~~

Yes. It was 'these' things which are happening too fast. It was all just an illusion from the start.
The decease which cost me to lose the ones I love dearly.
The man who meant a lot to me in my life.
He, who make life so much better then it used to be.
He whose name was Andrew.

"Andrew...,"I mumbled,"I forgot to tell you this. And I want to tell you this for a long time...I want to tell you that..."
The alcohol had taken control of me. I was in a state of emotional breakdown.

Suddenly, I could see bright lights from afar. It was getting closer and closer and it gets brighter and brighter each time it gets closer.
I squint my eyes to take a better look at it, but all I could see was a blurry version of an big object.

Wait! Could this be......


UFO's!!!


*BEEP!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!*

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

"I love you..."

*BAM!!!*

[To Be Continue]

Training The Soon-To-Be Comanders

Khartik, The MC and his fans of hawaiian girls...LOL

Hari Koko. The day where our money comes and go.

And also my last.

PBSM