"A modern Angulima story...." - steambunz, 2018
 |
| Source : JustRunLah, 2016 |
* * *
A marathon runner was training at the park one day.
It was 5pm on a sunny hot afternoon, and there was barely any other people at the park except for him.
He knew it was the worst decision to train at this point of time, but he has no other choice after skipping morning practice that very same day.
Every minute went by as he struggles to cope with the heat and thirst in his body.
Even with the subsequent drinks he had after each 2km, he still felt the fatigue and dehydration kicking in quicker than his usual training days.
The heat was so intolerable! At many times, he felt that he was hallucinating!
During his 15km mark, he suddenly notices someone, out of the ordinary, walking in the park.
It was the Buddha, calmly and mindfully doing his walking meditation.
Not wanting to ruin his run timing, the runner continue to run on without stopping to pay his respects.
"Good day Buddha!" the runner waved as he ran past the Buddha.
The Buddha smiled and continue on with his mindful walk.
Feeling motivated and excited after seeing the Buddha, the runner ran on, feeling very determine to finish his training once and for all.
But, in a few minutes later into his run...
Again, he saw the Buddha!
This time the Buddha was ahead of him!
How can the Buddha be quicker than me? The runner thought.
Is it really true that He has such supernatural powers like every person in town said?
"Yo Buddha, this time you're quicker than me!" said the runner.
The Buddha smiled, but paid no attention in giving a certain reply.
Again, he ran past the Buddha, but this time, the runner slowly started to increased his pace, trying to match up with the speed of the Buddha.
But again, even before he could finish his 1km lap, he saw the Buddha, ahead of him again!
The walking Buddha, show no signs of fatigue or tiredness.
Even with His bare footed feet, His feet show no signs of bleeding or bruising!
Eh, is this some kind of Angulimala joke? I'm not the 2nd Angulimala, am I? The runner thought.
I swear he was right behind me all this while.
"Last lap! See you at the finishing line Buddha!" said the runner.
The runner immediately sprinted off, giving 100% of his maximum effort, reaching 70%-80% of his heart rate to finish his last final lap.
But upon reaching the finishing line...
The Buddha was already there! Standing and mindfully sipping onto his cup of water!
What on earth!! The runner screamed inside his head.
After the runner ran past the finish line and clocked his finish time, he immediately fell into his knees to pay his respects to the Buddha.
He maintain his bowing position, trying to catch his breath before standing up.
"Oh Buddha!" he panted in exhaustion. "How could you run so fast?! You're really incredible! Please teach me to be a better runner!"
The Buddha looked at him weirdly.
"Young man. I wasn't running at all. I did far fewer laps than you did!"
"But still, you were way more faster and ahead of me!"
The Buddha rolled his eyes and said :
"That's because you were running in the same loop 21 times, while I took the shortcut!"
Chapter 22.08: How I Almost Destroyed Valentines Day
By steambunz - Saturday, February 14, 2015
3 years ago on Valentine's Day, I was working as a part-time waitress in a high class restaurant, serving almost 600++ customers, couples, and families between the month of January and February.
In preparation for Valentines Day, the tables in the grand dining hall were properly arranged and beautifully decorated with a lighted scented candle, a set of complete cutleries for two, and a paper menu set beside the candle. The curtain blinders were rolled up, revealing the buzzing people at the side of the streets. The lights were also dimmed, and soft music filled the room, hence, setting a cosy, warm, and romantic environment.
It was about 9pm, the crowd was much lesser since it was almost our closing time, hence, it was less busy for us. There were only 2 couples sitting inside the dining hall, chatting away while I was doing my round of collecting and putting away the dishes.
Suddenly, something caught my attention right at the corner of my eye.
As I turned to faced the table right in front of me, I noticed that the paper menu on the table was starting to burn!
As I turned to faced the table right in front of me, I noticed that the paper menu on the table was starting to burn!
For a moment, I stood there staring blankly at the burning menu, now in flames.
My mind was screaming at me to get water or scream for help, but my feet just stood rooted against the floor, not wanting me to move! On the other hand, my colleague, Dale, was behind the bar counter, unaware of the whole situation.
My mind was screaming at me to get water or scream for help, but my feet just stood rooted against the floor, not wanting me to move! On the other hand, my colleague, Dale, was behind the bar counter, unaware of the whole situation.
Should I get Dale to put out the fire?! Or should I just put out the fire myself?! I thought to myself.
Even at this situation, I could still hear Adele's chorus echoing at the back of my mind: "Set fireeeeeee... to the rain!" Except that there was no rain, it was practically just fire!
Even at this situation, I could still hear Adele's chorus echoing at the back of my mind: "Set fireeeeeee... to the rain!" Except that there was no rain, it was practically just fire!
It was such an obvious, and stupid question that I'm asking myself.
Even so, I still stood there blankly watching the fire with a bit if amusement and in awe, the fire, now bigger, which is now burning through the table cloth, as if I've never seen a fire before. lol.
Even so, I still stood there blankly watching the fire with a bit if amusement and in awe, the fire, now bigger, which is now burning through the table cloth, as if I've never seen a fire before. lol.
Out of a sudden, I came back to my senses when I saw a couple stood up in their seats. Their faces looked horrified as they noticed the current situation. I snapped back into reality, and immediately sprang into action. I turned around in circles, running frantically back and forth, and around the dining hall looking for a source of water. Dale was still busy cleaning up some dishes behind the bar counter. When I saw the leftover cup of water on top of the bar counter, I immediately took it and splashed it across the table.
The fire was immediately extinguished, and what was left was a soaked table, and huge burnt hole in the middle of the tablecloth. The table was stained black in the middle.
The fire was immediately extinguished, and what was left was a soaked table, and huge burnt hole in the middle of the tablecloth. The table was stained black in the middle.
I continued to stood there, staring at the horrible messed for a few minutes, questioning myself on what had just happened.
"Do you smell something burning?" I heard Dale spoke up behind me.
I turned around to look at him, my face still as blank as ever.
I pointed towards the burnt table, and his facial expression suddenly dropped.
"WHAT HAPPENED?!" he asked frantically, his face filled with shock.
I pointed towards the burnt table, and his facial expression suddenly dropped.
"WHAT HAPPENED?!" he asked frantically, his face filled with shock.
I looked at him, and shrugged.
* * *
So yeah, if you're still feeling sad because you're still single for Valentine's Day...
Don't be. lol
Because nothing can't be worst than almost (unintentionally) setting fire to a high class restaurant on Valentine's Day. So yeah, being single is not that bad. lol
But maybe that's why I'm still single ~(--..--)~
Happy Valentines Day & Gong Xi Fa Chai !!
It was one of those lonely late nights. A taxi driver was driving around, completing his night duty. It was a cool breezy night.
The taxi driver was gonna retire for the night, when he saw a lady, waving at the bus stop.
She was standing alone at a deserted bus stop, halting for him to stop. She has long hair and was wearing a white dress.
It was already 2am, the taxi driver came to a stop to pick up the lady. The lady open the door. The taxi driver had a clear view of the lady, by looking at the rear mirror. Her face was covered with her long hair and she looks like she was carrying something in her basket. The taxi driver notice that it was paper money, the ones that is used to be burn for the dead. A sweet aromatic smell filled the air in the car.
The taxi driver was a bit freak out. But, he tried to remain calm. He hold the amulet in his pocket, chanting for protection.
"Where would you like to go, Miss?" The taxi driver voice trembled.
"To the Sungai Bulu Cemetery," The lady said.
It was already 2am in the morning, but the lady insists of going to a cemetery? The taxi driver gulped down his fear as he begins to drive the lady to the cemetery.
Upon reaching the cemetery, he pulled the taxi into a stop. The taxi driver was a bit relieved that this scary experience was going to be over by then.
"RM15.40," he says.
The lady reached out for her money in her basket. She gave the money to the taxi driver and pack her things, getting ready to leave. The taxi driver took the money. He heard the rear passenger door open. Just then, he look at the rear mirror to see her leave.
But, the lady has all of a sudden, disappear!! Creep out, he tighten his grip on the money in his hands. But, he found out that it wasn't Malaysian dollar notes. It was paper money!!
The passenger door suddenly slammed shut. A strong cold breeze came, sending him shivers down his spine. His hair was standing on his ends!
Suddenly there were moaning noises outside of his car. The taxi driver was so scared, he literally peed in his pants!
All of a sudden, a hand smacked onto his windows. There was blood everywhere, making the windows look bloody and messy.
Suddenly, a bloody looking figure appeared beside his door. It was the lady just now. Her body is all covered in blood and her hair is all messed up. Because he was too scared, he couldn't wind up the window.
The bloody lady came closer to him, revealing a more bloodied face. She point her crooked fingers at him and said,"Next time, please don't ever stop your car beside the drain please!!!"
Warning : This post contains 18 and above stuff. Viewer discretion is advised.
~~~
Swearing has been very popular among youngsters these days. These days, you won't see youngsters greeting each other with greeting words. They would probably go...
'YO! Fu*k you dude! You stole my girlfriend!!'
'YO fu*ker! You got a problem with that?!'
~~~
In Hollywood, actors even swear to make a movie more entertaining! Maybe even win an Oscar for the 'Most Entertaining Swearing'.
'Henry!! You're such a b*ll-less man on earth!!! How can you do that?!'
'Shut the fu*k up bit*h! I did it for love. Coz I fu*king love you!!'
'Fu*k you Henry! I fu*king love you too!'
'Shut the fu*k up bit*h! I did it for love. Coz I fu*king love you!!'
'Fu*k you Henry! I fu*king love you too!'
~~~
Swearing even comes in all types of languages!
Fuck you. (English)
Diancuk (Malay)
你他妈的. (Chinese : Simplified)
भाड़ में जाओ तुम (Hindi)
性交する (Japanese)
엿 먹어 (Korean)
Γαμήσου. (Greek)
Vas te faire encule. (French)
~~~
In the internet, everyone can swear by freely typing it! This also includes spamming-swearing.
Henry says :
You b*stard!
Ted says :
Fu*ck off.
Henry says :
You fu*ck off first.
Ted says :
You Fu*ck off.
Ted says :
You Fu*ck off.
Ted says :
You Fu*ck off.
Ted says :
Fu*ck off.
Henry says :
<.OFFLINE.>
~~~
And, actually, the real meaning of the word 'fuck' means having sexual intercourse.
But, people don't acknowledge it. (I call them, stupid.)
~~~
Even the smallest teeny weeny problem that they even have to swear.
'Fu*ck! I drop my pencil!'
~~~
Intellectualizing in different languages is encouraged. Does that mean swearing too?
'You soh*i m*hai chib*i you la!' ( Unsur Bunyi : [Asonansi : vokal 'a'])
'What?! You sei l*u m*u!' ( Unsur Bunyi : [Asonansi : vokal 'o'] )
'You la l*n zhi*o. Touch me!'
~~~
The Stages Of Swearing :
Serious :
Fuck
Very Serious :
Chi Bai Lan Zhiao
Very very serious :
Lan Zhiao Chi Bai
Chi Lan Bai Zhiao
Bai Chi Zhiao Lan
Zhiao Lan Bai Chi
Chi Zhiao Bai Lan
Bai Zhiao Chi Lan
Etc.
~~~
So, actually...what's my point of view here? You're asking?
My point of view is...
People should actually use other words to replace swearing words. Like...
Mahai - Wahai! (acceptable if '-nya' is added to the back)
So Hai - So high!!
Fuck - Duck
Dickhead - Checkmate!
Kanina - Can want la...
Asshole - Butt hole
Etc.
~~~
But, I guess...reading this won't even benefit them after all. *sigh* ._.
[P.S : I'm not a person who would swear like this. I will never swear]
Once upon a time, there live a girl called Chuah Siew Lin.
Chuah Siew Lin loves English and she will do anything to get A1/2 in her SPM Trials exam.
One day, she got back her English paper and she was shocked that she got a shocking 69 marks for English. She was so devasted that she felt like jumping off the 2nd floor of the building. She almost got 4A's if she can just get 2 more marks in her ENGLISH!
She walk up to her English teacher, Pn.Hannah.
She showed her the most BIG, innocent and teary eyes of hers and said,"Teacher...please? Pretty please, with sugar on top of my head? 2 marks for an A?"
To her dissapointment, Pn.Hannah said no.
Suddenly, a fairy Godmother appeared and sprinkled some magical dust on Pn.Hannah and dissapeared!
Pn.Hannah mood quickly switched and she smiled and said to Siew Lin,"I know that you are a hard working student, Siew Lin. I shall add 2 marks for you."
Siew Lin was so happy that she ran out of the class and went screaming down the corridor.
And Siew Lin live happily ever after with her 4A's in her Trial SPM.
The End.
[Which will never happen in my life]
This is to my Best Friend...
The one whom I have been and known for 4 years...
Whom I will not be able to see him ever again...
...
I see you everyday...
And yet, my feelings towards you never had change since the first day I met you in Form2...
You have been with me through thick and thin...
You would help me carry my books and heavy stuff...
You were everything to me...
What you did, make me impossible to tell you my feelings...
...
But now, you're not here anymore...
And, I never did have the chance to tell you how I feel about you...
But since, you have gone to a better place where other people can love you more then I do...
I'm taking this chance to say...
that...
I love you and I'll miss you.
I'll miss your presence...
I'll miss the things you did for me...
I'll miss your sexy black skin...
Rough, but yet strong to pull me together in your arms...
Your name which everyone knows in the whole wide world...
Swan...
I love you Swan.
Rest In Peace.
XOXOXO
[P.S : I bet you did get fooled. Bwahahaha!!! Gotcha!!!]
It was 6pm in the evening, workers and working people started making their way back home after a hectic day at work
A women in her 40's was humming her way towards the driver seat of her little small Kelisa car. Wasting no time by throwing her bag to the passengers back seat and getting the car into gear before zooming off from the Dentist Shop.
Not before long when she reached to the main road, cars speeding off towards to the only place they want to be, home.
Can't wait to be home, watching TV, relaxing, sitting down on the sofa, the women take her sweet time on the wheels, the radio playing 'Home' by Chris Doughtry.
All of a sudden, it was a quiet and peacful evening when a full blast of vibration hitted the silver car screen.
Wham! Wham! Wham! Goes the music.
On the opposite site of her car, was a normal looking brown Proton Saga. Playing the music in full blast!!!
The driver seems to be a young looking man in his 20's. With a good looking red sticker, P. And he doesn't look happy at all.
He horned her. And overtook her car. Right now, driving in front and ahead of her.
She doesn't seemed to be bothered by the honk at all. Ignoring him instead. She looks at the clock timer. Oh my! It was 6.30pm. Her show is going to start in 5 minutes time! She puts on gear and gains speed. Gaining up onto the Proton Saga. Arh darn, what's with the bown car in front of me, blocking my way.
She sat up straight in her seat, pushed her glasses up, put on her right signal and press slightly hard on the pedals, overtaking the brown Saga.The little small car zoomed pass the brown Saga.
"What the...?" goes the man.
"Overtaking me?! Hmph! No elderly women overtakes me!!" He scoffs and puts on to his gear and pressed hard onto the pedals, overtaking the women, again.
"Argh!" She looks at the time. 6.32pm.
At the same time, the same car was blocking her way, again! The brown car brakes, trying to scare the wits out of the women. Luckily she slowed down before her car could bang the little idiot brown car.
"What's with the driver man?!" She cursed.
On the other hand, the man looks at his rear view mirror, feeling satisfied and continues to drive on.
Before he knew it, the small Kelisa car drove up beside him. The women looked at him and he stares back at her, looking surprised.
She gave him a very big smile, showing her newly fixed denture teeth with 4 missing tooths at the right side.
The man freaked out and screams like a sissy girl and the women speeds off in her small Kelisa car.
And you know what was the best thing is?
The women was my mom.
