I used Himalaya products quite often, especially their facial masks and oral healthcare products. I actually like them very much and I have a positive perspective on their organic products!

Check out some of their latest products in the market!!

*

Last year was a pretty layback year for me as I was trying to strengthen personal relationships with my friends, and mending broken relationships with my family. However, this year was a comeback year for me as I gotten myself involved with more activities and social events. I guess it's because of the fact that I'm graduating soon, thinking that I wouldn't be able to do all these things when I enter the workforce. But, another part of me tells me that I need to further develop myself to prepare myself to take up bigger responsibilities. I guess because of that, I took up more leadership roles this year. And along the way, I found out more about myself and the secrets that I hide, that even I hadn't even know.

So here goes the list of the 21 things I did while I was 21 years old:

* * *

1. Celebrated my 21st birthday and received the infamous golden key

To be honest, I wasn't expecting to plan for an official 21st birthday party because all my thoughts and energy were focused on studying for my final examination. But what my dad said, caused me to give a hesitating 'yes':

"When I was at your age, I didn't even have the opportunity to do such thing. You only turn 21 once, let's just make it a special one."

In the end, it was all planned out by him, with the help from my mom. This shows much they really love me as their daughter. Who needs a golden key, when all the freedom I had was already given by my parents since young?

2. Participated in BGF's Quidditch Games

Getting to fly..... erh... I mean... run around with sticks was one thing, but the joy of being outside in the sun, running around, getting mud-dirty, panting, was the best feeling I ever had. It's the main source of my happiness, and I wish I could still do this even when I'm much older later on.

3. Passed all my Finance subjects and maintained my average grades all above 60%++

FARKKKKKKK FINANCE!!! I've been waiting for so long just to say that, because I wanted to make sure I’ve passed them all before they start jinxing me! As you know, Finance is one of my weakest, challenging, stupidmotherfarker subject that I had to overcome in my university days. I had failed more times than you can ever imagine, and there was once I was at the risk of getting expelled. But all in all, I still maintain my grades and still holding on to the 2nd Upper that I’m aiming for. Basically, it had taught me a beautiful process of getting up when I was at the most bottom-pit of my university days. It was truly a remarkable experience, and I would say that it had taught me something greater that what it will teach me when I come out to work. Because you can’t afford to fail at work, you’ll get fucked BIG time. So if you ask me whether I regretted failing, I would say NO.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” – J.K.Rowling.

Here's some cheesy wedges for reading my complaints.

4. Drove to Penang for the first time

I wasn’t happy when my parents didn’t allow me to drive to Genting, but I understand that they were just concern with my safety. Actually, I was too, concern about my safety. So, instead, my dad allowed me to drive us back to our hometown for Chinese New Year. I learned the difference of driving in the typical city of KL and on an actual highway. I actually enjoyed driving on the highway, especially on the fast lane, because all cars will let you through. Unlike in KL, cars don’t let you through even when you flash or horn, you’re treated as if you don’t exist. #truestory

5. Became part of the organizing team of SMILEY Cookie Project

Probably thanks to IBYE/IBYF 2013, I was pulled in by Do Chan Wye into the team. It was a little confusing at first because of the different working environment and people, but I like it, and I still manage to work closely together with them. It was a simple but remarkable and meaningful project. :)

6. Participated in LeAD in Bangkok, Thailand

LeAD was one of the main changing factor that caused me to change the way I think about myself and the way I communicate with people. It was also my first time travelling to Thailand together with my fellow D2Y-ians, Amy Lim and Jonathan Khoo! But what caused me to change the way I work is because of this one person. During the last night of our activity, one of the Singapore participants personally approached me and wanted to talk to me about something. I already knew what it was going to be. My 6th sense feeling is very weird but very accurate. True enough, he personally gave me advice on how to build and develop myself.

“The reason why I’m telling this now, is because I may not be able to see you again after this. I got that feeling that you wanted to try. So I gave you the opportunity to be the leader,” said Chin Wu Feng. “But whatever I’m telling you now, I hope that you would do the same thing to someone in the future.”

And because of that, I started changing.

7. Found out more about myself

In the same event in LeAD, what impacted me the most was the Harrison Assessment that showed how different I was from other people. I felt that I was the odd one out, but I soon realized how important it is to have different people with different personalities in a team.

“No matter how different you are, you bring colours to the group,” said Bro.Mun Yee. “You just need to be a little more confident about yourself.”

After that event, I also found out that I hide a lot of things from a lot of people. I’m always a mystery to other people because I rarely talk about my thoughts, and feelings. I never knew that until now. Since then, I’m starting to express a little bit more about myself, but somewhere deep inside me, I still want to remain a mystery to many people, on many different levels.

8. Travelled to Korea and Shanghai!

Anyeonghaisayo! I’m not a big fan of Korea, and I never thought of traveling to Korea nor Shanghai. Until it happen……… But I was glad that it was a beautiful trip! The culture, people, lengzhais, products, food… everything! I even google up some random Korean words and tried using them on different people to see their reactions, but I didn’t know to reply them LOL. I even bought a kite and flew it for the first time in Shanghai, but I was caught by an officer. My trip to Korea and Shanghai was also one of the getaways to recover myself from a heartbreak, but at the same time to release and explore more about myself.

9. Gotten a part-time supervisor job at Selangor Turf Club

I was jobless for the last 3 months during my long semester break. It was a torture, but somehow I landed myself in a well-paid part time job with good experience, thanks to a friend who recommended me to her old job. Since then, I work every Friday nights. I have no problems handling the job and the people there, but it’s pretty depressing because it’s on a FRIDAY! I’ll never see Friday nights the same again, but for money and experience, I would do anything for it.

10. Met in a minor car accident for the first time

It was a scary experience and I swear it wasn’t my fault! When the incident happen, I couldn’t control my emotions and anger, and I started blasting everything out on the person. I was strongly defending myself because I knew I was right. But after the argument, I drove off. My hands and legs started shaking. And then, I cried, so badly. Because during that moment of the incident, I was actually dam scared. Sometimes, a person may look tough on the outside, but deep inside, she’s actually also scared.

11. Cook and fed the poor

I usually don’t cook, but when I do, I do it for charity and for goodwill. It’s something that you don’t really see or notice on the streets, until I saw hundreds of needy people queuing up before me, waiting to take their food. I’m glad that I’m so blessed and grateful for the food that I’m served today, at home or anywhere else.

12. Illegally ride a scooter in an LRT station

Used my scooter to commute from LRT Sri Petaling line to Kelana Jaya line. I received a warning from an officer, but once they were out from sight, I started speeding off with my scooter again. It was the best feeling ever to ‘walk’ faster than anyone else, even when everyone else was staring!

13. Drove an Audi TT

And the first person to ride it with me was Hoh Sheng Ying.

14. Received an anonymous confession

Surprise? Don’t worry, I’m more surprise as you are. But the truth is, I never knew that person. It’s a little disappointing. However, whether it was a prank or a real confession, it’s something that I’ll never know.

15. Won 'Best Speaker of the Week' and 1st Runner Up in BGF's Effective Speaking Course

I hesitated to join at first, mainly because of the fee, strict commitment, and the thought of competing with other speakers in the finale. I HATED the fact that I had to compete. And when I did, my ESC objective was to fully express myself (because I knew I was lacking in self-expression). I decided to focus on nothing else but improving myself and not on winning. However, during the 2nd week of ESC, when I realized that I’ve won myself the ‘best speaker of the week’ award, I was flabbergasted! Since then, I went all out until the day of the finale, not knowing what I get in return was bigger than what I thought! Not only did I won myself an award, but I also won myself a whole lot of confidence. And thank goodness for ESC! Because since after ESC, there were a lot of events that requires me to speak in public! *faints*

16. Had our first graduation class trip

I hadn’t graduate, yet. But all of my classmates already did, so must as well just tag along to celebrate together with them. I miss watching them fight, and seeing them throwing and howling at each other with ‘beautiful’ words. I guess, I’m just gonna miss all of them.

17. Travelled to Taiwan for the first time with my university friends

My fourth and final trip of the year, Taiwan! At the beginning, I was against the idea of traveling overseas because of the tight financial budget I had, but thanks to Sheng Ying and Zann, they made it possible for all of us to travel to Taiwan. I am deeply indebted to them, BIG TIME. They also became my Chinese translator and tour guide (because I couldn’t read Chinese *cries*). But nevertheless, I had a great time and I really enjoyed the mouth-watering-food, culture, hospitality, and shopping spree. I’ll miss the 4 of us together, but we’ll still see each other soon anyway…. and that’s because I owe them a lot of money. LOL.

Travelling had taught me a lot of things, things that I’ll definitely cherish and love for the rest of my life. You can read the summary of my experience over here.

18. Attended INCOVAR camp for the first time

Had been part of the organizing team in events, camps, and activities for the past few years. And for once, I just wanna feel like I’m a participant again. And I thought I would get away with responsibilities just for once, until we had to wash the toilets and plates T_T I still remember the main inspiration I wrote in camp, which was: to motivate and inspire others like how I inspire myself. It sounds so cheesy, but on a greater extend, I definitely did inspire a few people in camp, even my mentor himself. Even so, I’ll still continue doing it by teaching and mentoring others like how others had done the same to me.

19. Organized Camp-X: The Missing Link

In the past, I already took up secretary, treasury, logistics, media and publicity, and programs. And now finally, it’s camp manager. It was a challenging but well rewarding role, and there are a lot of things that I did so much better than in the past. However, there are still many things that I have to work on. I believe that there are things that I could have prevented it from happening, if only I could have follow my instincts and trust myself more with the things that I had already foreseen. Since then, I learned to listen to myself more often. I also learned how to disregard other people’s opinion if it doesn’t agree to my own logical reasoning or even my own gut feeling.

20. Became part of the organizing team of Buddhist Youth Fellowship Games (BYFG)

Back then in 2012, I planned to aim for bronze in badminton female doubles/singles in the next coming IBYFG, but sadly, that day didn’t come. However, never would I have known that I would be part of the organizing committee of BYFG’s comeback this year, and it was a remarkably big one! I was glad that I was part of this comeback, but I’m more looking forward to participating in the next games :)

21. Watched my friends graduate

I was supposed to be one of them, but I wasn’t one of them. Maybe not just yet. It was a mixture of emotions when seeing my friends graduate after me. I was sad upon not graduating, yet happy and proud of them for finally graduating. Oh well, it’s just a matter of time when I finally do. Because it’s not about how fast you finished, but how patient you are to wait for what you’re worth, and still obtaining the degree holder that you want. And I am on my way there!

* * *

Today, I turned 22.

I wished everything could just stop. Just stop.

Even if it's a second. A minute. An hour. Or a day.

Everything is happening too fast, and soon enough... I'll be sitting in the examination hall, scribbling away my answers on my last final examination paper.

Yes. I won't deny it. It's what I wanted. But I don't know what's holding me back. I don't know this feeling.

I think it's the feeling of fear. The fear of not scoring well in my final exam and maintaining my grades to get that 2nd upper I wanted.

Or maybe it's the fear of uncertainties? The feeling of lost and not knowing where to go after everything ends?

To be honest, I actually don't know.

I just know I want everything to stop. For now. Maybe I just want to have more fun time for myself? To do the things I wanna do? I haven't finish what I wanted to do yet.

I..... I honestly don't know.

* * *

Lately, I'm having a lot of personal thoughts. A lot of mixed feelings inside, it's difficult to tell.

Maybe it's because I don't have anyone to tell them to for a really long time? Ever since my closed friend from uni isn't around anymore, I rarely complain about the stuff I used to complain to her anymore?

I guess because of this, all my thoughts and feelings are bottled up deep inside. Waiting for it to break at the most vulnerable moment.

I guess.....

I'm just waiting to break.....

I was quite dissatisfied with myself to switch my window seat with another passenger. I half-reluctantly gave up my seat so that the man and his child could be together.

I was seated in the middle lane, near to the aisle on the right.

I looked at disbelief at the couple and the two child.

The mother and a boy were seated in front, while the father and a boy, much younger, were seated behind.

The mother seems to be busy keeping her passport and belongings.

Her passport was green in colour, and the gold printed wordings on the book that says "The United States".

"Seems like the family is from the U.S.," I thought.

"We're moving! We're moving!" screamed the child with joy, who was seated oppositely behind.

I turned around to peek at the child.

He stared at me with his big, round, innocent eyes.

I smiled at him.

He smiled back, but he shyed away.

I turned to look at my front before turning to look at him again.

I smiled, and he smiled again! But shyed away as usual.

"Daddy! Daddy!" he shook his father.

I quickly turned to look in front before the father caught me staring at his son. Scared that he'll suspect me for attempting to kidnap his son.

Suddenly, the plane took off.

I took a peek at the boy again.

The boy was squealing in joy and excitement! His eyes were wide opened with glee and excitement.

He kept looking out the window as he excitedly clapped his hands repeatedly on his soft thigh.

It was really pure happiness looking at him, being so happy.

And I knew right then...

...that his happiness, was my happiness.

:)

"Hee Loong!" a girl shouted in the middle of the crowd. "Hee Loooooong!"

Hee Loong turned around, and saw a familiar figure walking towards him.

It was dark and the only source of light was the flames of the little candles.

"Where were you," said the girl. Her name was Song Lynn. "I've been searching for you for so long! And where's your candle?!" Song Lynn held her candle up to Hee Loong's surprise face.

Hee Loong smiled. "Why do I need a candle when I got you?"

Song Lynn lightly punch him in the chest. "You're crazy... Come on, let's go home before my candle goes out."

Hee Loong and Song Lynn walk side by side on the empty streets of Wu Zhen city, China.

"You know Song Lynn, I'm so proud of you," said Hee Loong.

Song Lynn look at him. "Really? Why arh?"

"I've seen you grown for all these years and so much changes have made you for who you are today," said Hee Loong.

Song Lynn looked down and smiled, shyly.

"Yeah I know... I'm surprise that I have change so much after going through so many things. Funny to say, I seem to inspire myself."

Song Lynn stopped in her tracks and looked at Hee Loong.

"But you know, I couldn't have done it without you, you know. You're the reason I have changed so much. You inspire me to change, Hee Loong."

Hee Loong look at Song Lynn, and smiled. He pull Song Lynn closed to him into a hug. Song Lynn was surprised.

"But you wanna know the truth?" said Hee Loong.

"What?"

"You inspired me the most, Song Lynn."

* * *

And that was that, that was the last meaningful conversation between the Hee Loong and Song Lynn. Nothing else flourish between the both of them, because it was just a brotherly love and a sisterly love relationship.

Someone once told me that you can only dream of someone only when you have see them before.

It doesn't matter where or when, as long as you have a vivid memory of a person's face, body, or voice, it is possible for that person to be in your dreams.

But no one had ever told me the reason why they had to appeared in my dreams.

* * * 

I wished that it was actually you, but you didn't appear in my dreams.

Instead, it was him. Again.

But why? Didn't I gotten over him already?

Maybe it's because, I haven't seen you much as I should have.

But instead, I've seen him, talked to him, listened to him as much as I could remember.

Yet, I'm still trying to forget and delete him from every trace of my memory.

But I can't.

It's already there.

But,

would you come in to my dreams?

Come in to my dreams and take me away?

Take me away in your dreams so that I can be in your memories forever...

* * *

♥ Tu me manques ♥

If you wanna do something, go all the way.

Same goes with relationships,

if you wanna love someone, love them all the way.

You can't just love person-X half-heartedly,

and go to person-Y telling them that you miss them.

Love doesn't work like that.

At least for me.

My feelings and heart is not for you to play with.

Is either you get things straight, or you don't do it at all.

Don't toy with me. I'm not a toy to play with.

* * *

"Sometimes you have to walk away from people,

* * *

I'm sorry, but I've decided to stop caring about you.

You were just another piece of my memories.

Wow. I can't believe it! It has all come to an end! :(

From Malaysia to Thailand, South Korea, Shanghai and lastly, Taiwan!

They said that the only thing you should do when you're young, especially during your university days, is to travel. And yes, I believe that's true. Because there's so much exposure out there you can get compared to what you read in textbooks and watch on television. The different culture values and practices just left me at awe!

Before I knew I was about to travel to so many places, I came across this Chinese Feng Shui article which says that," the year of the horse 2014 is a suitable year to travel for those born in the year of the monkey. But precaution must be taken for unforeseen circumstances."

Yes, I was born in the year of the monkey. And throughout the entire traveling experience, I had to go through that $@&$&@# experience of FLYING. And in between, you have to hear news like MH370, MH170, the sinking Korean ship, and another few more planes going missing and crashing.

That's like wtf? I rarely swear, but it's literally a wtf kind-of-thing for a person like me who has FEAR for heights. I know FEAR only occurs in the mind, but can you imagine I have to fly 8 ducking times?! I swear I almost caused an heart attack to the person sitting beside of me. =.=

But I'm pretty glad I'm back on land. *kisses the floor*

And thank the deities that me and my friends are safe and sound.

Each different trip has taught me varies different things. From emotional healing to finding myself, and even the skills to bargain! But there's just too much for me to write about, and I don't know where to begin with LOL! So, I'm just gonna write a summary on what I've learnt throughout my traveling trip in Asia.

Here it goes:

Traveling had taught me...

1. that traveling is E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E

It's not just on traveling costs, but also on the cost on food and shopping. Now I truly understand why my parents rarely buy stuff from overseas and why they always bring in snacks like bread, and cup noodles overseas. It's so that I don't have to waste money on breakfast and supper. But other than that, I know I'm currently in a BIGGER debt than I already am =.= *if you know what I mean*

2. to pack within 30 minutes

I think it's also partly due to the many camps I have attended, which also taught me how to pack light and easy. So there's no such things as hair dryers and unnecessary stuff I don't need.

3. that they'll be always conflicts within the traveling group

Different people with different conflict of interest. It's bound to happen especially when traveling with large groups of people. There were petty arguments and dissatisfactions among my family and friends, but I guess the only solution to this is only tolerance and compromising. You also tend to find out some disgusting and annoying habits about the other person.

4. the skills to bargain!

Well, just making good use of my stage acting skills and voice colouring to ask for discounts. TEEHEE! Just need to be thick skin abit :p

5. the different culture values and practices in each country

In Taiwan, people love their dogs as much as they love their own babies. The people there have much etiquettes, consideration, and basic manners.  

In Korea, fashion, beauty, and technology are very much important to these people.

In Thailand, the people are much polite, nice, and calm, and the average education qualification for a person is a Masters. Oh. My. Goat!

In Shanghai (China), nobody gives a duck whether you're dead or alive. If you can't speak Mandarin, you're probably dead here.

These are the 5 major things I've learnt so far during my traveling experiences. I think there are plenty more, but I'm just lazy to think right now. So emotionally, mentally, and physically drained and tired after all that traveling.

So, what's next after this?
I guess I'm gonna stop traveling overseas for awhile until I settle my bad debts lol... And also another reason for me to STAY AWAY from flying for awhile, until the aviation industry disaster thingy starts to cool down.


Where do I plan to travel to in the future?
Vietnam. India. South Africa. Or any parts of Europe!
If I had the chance (and the budget), I would definitely wanna go backpacking to countries which had lesser privileges like us and are known for their poverty and tribe. It's probably the biggest culture shock I will definitely receive, and I like that.




Travelling had taught me a lot of things, things that I'll definitely cherish, and memories that I'll definitely remember for the rest of my life.

"But keep in mind one very important thing:

If you love someone, then your one and only job is to make that person happy.

If you don’t believe you can make him or her happy, then accept the fact that it will never work."

-Paul Hudson from Elite Daily

"I miss you..." I said.

There was a long pause, but he calmly answered,"Hmm... Why orh?"

"I don't know," I broke down. "Of so many people, I have to miss you the most."

* * *

Remember back then in your car?

It was that night....

... that I missed your presence.

I miss the look on your face when I gave you your favourite chocolates... 

... and that ridiculous arm wrestling we did in the car.

Wow. So unromantic of us.

But it doesn't matter.

Because true enough, I still miss that moment of us.

I miss us.

I miss you.

But I'm not sure whether you miss me too.

* * *

I should have taken that advantage to spend the rest of my night with you that night.

But I didn't. I don't know why.