"Sir, I may not be working here anymore," I said sadly, as I looked at him.
He turned to face me, but said nothing. He was a regular customer in his mid-50's, but I never got to know his name, even after working almost a year here.
I smiled widely at him, "I've just graduated."
He smiled back at me, and that was the moment that I knew that he was secretly happy for me, but yet a little sad that I was leaving.
Chapter 22.06: The Lecturer Who Almost Made Me Lose My 2nd Upper Class
By steambunz - Friday, January 23, 2015
"Yes, come in." A muffled voice came inside from the closed office door.
I barged into his office.
"Dr.Chengggg!!!!"
He sighed. "Yesssssss... ."
His toned was calm and cool, but slightly annoyed, as if he was expecting someone to clobber him with a club already. He looked at me, not feeling surprised that I was that person.
"I wanna chop you already!" I said hysterically while waving my result slip in front of him, smiling. "I almost lost my 2nd upper class because of youuuuu!!"
I just obtained my official semester result slip, guaranteeing me the 2nd upper class that I wanted, but I wasn't happy until I teased my subject lecturer. I wanted to teased him for my own satisfaction, like how he teased me with my final examination marks.
He sighed.
"Listen, listen. It's not my fault, I can explain," he said boringly. He sounded as if he had explained it for the 1010th times. "The marks wasn't supposed to be like that, but after going through some external markers, they lowered the marks, so it's not my fault. It is Lancaster requirement..... Yada.... yada.... yada...."
I sat comfortably at the chair in front of his table, refusing to listen to the usual "Lancaster requirement standards" talk. I've graduated, so I didn't really care. On the other hand, Mr.Gan, my research project supervisor, who was seated opposite of him, smiled at the conversation that we were having.
".... so that's why the marks is not to what you expected."
"You know Dr.Cheng," I said as I stood up to look at him. "Sometimes in life, there will always be that one person who you’ll remember for something. And so, I will remember you. I will remember you for the person who almost make me lose my 2nd upper class!” I teased him, evilly.
“The person who almost make you lose your 2nd upper class, huh?” He repeated “That’s very interesting, huh?” He said sarcastically as he smiled.
“The person who almost make you lose your 2nd upper class, huh?” He repeated “That’s very interesting, huh?” He said sarcastically as he smiled.
* * *
He was my class lecturer for 3 subjects.
Product Development and Commercialization. International Marketing. Marketing Strategy.
But I will remember him, I will remember him as the lecturer who almost made me lose my 2nd Upper Class. Because that sounds more interesting than a normal subject lecturer.
I skipped happily towards her, feeling excited to tell her something.
"Wanna see durians?" I asked my friend as I arrived on the stretching area from where she is standing, slightly panting.
"Where did you go, doofus?!" She raised her voice, feeling slightly annoyed and angry.
She always call people 'doofus' when she's angry or when she thinks the person is dumb or noob, although I don't know what that means.
"Wanna see durians?" I repeated the question, ignoring her, not letting her destroy my excitement.
"I've seen them before," she brushed me off.
"Since when?! Liar! No you didn't! Let me show you some durians!"
I held my right hand in front of her and open up my palms.
"Here! Mini durians!" I smiled gleefully at her.
"Here! Mini durians!" I smiled gleefully at her.
15th January 2014, Thursday.
Location: McDonalds, Sri Petaling.
"Yerr... You larh! Actually I don't want to come one lorh." She grumbled.
"I only came to accompany you because Nui Nui couldn't make it."
"I only came to accompany you because Nui Nui couldn't make it."
I looked into my chocolate sundae ice-cream.
"Come on... It's only like, once in a lifetime. I don't always ask you out like this at this time also," I said.
"Plus, it's the biggest and most important period of my life lorh. It's like the determining factor whether you'll finally graduate. Don't you feel that way when you check your final examination results?"
"Plus, it's the biggest and most important period of my life lorh. It's like the determining factor whether you'll finally graduate. Don't you feel that way when you check your final examination results?"
"Well... yes I do, but not like this! I do it at home lorh."
"But to me, I want to remember that moment. If my results are good, I would wanna celebrate it with someone, if it's not good, at least I have someone there for me to cry on."
I sighed.
"Anyway, how's your first day at work?" I asked, deciding to change the topic.
I pressed the home button on my iPhone. The screen lighted up: 11.52pm.
"10 more minutes!!" I gasped, scooping a spoonful of ice-cream into my mouth.
She smiled at me.
"Are you sure you wanna listen to my story? You don't looked like you wanna listen."
"Don't worry, I'm listening. So, tell me."
* * *
10 minutes later...
12.02am
"OH. MY. GOD!! IT'S 12am!!" I shrieked. "I don't dare look at my results! Please look at it for me! HELP ME SEEEEEEE!!"
I forced my iPhone into her hands. So many things were running through my mind.
Will I get both subjects 60% and above? I think I'll get 60%+ for Marketing Strategy, but what about International Business?
I know I'm gonna pass, it's only 2 subjects! Who couldn't passed a theory exam with only 2 subjects?! But I wasn't worried about passing, I was worried about whether I'll be getting my 2nd upper class. The most important thing is that I have to get both subjects 60% and above!
"Where? How? I don't see anything!"
"You gotta click on the drop-down list and click on the latest semester!"
"Ohh... but I still don't see anything! I can't scroll to the right."
I snatched my phone away and unlocked the "portrait orientation" setting.
"Nah! Just scroll to the right and see. Please tell me it's all B!! For both subjects!! If it's bad, please don't tell me! If it's good......"
Suddenly, I saw a smile on her face, and she started laughing. I immediately went blank.
But her laugh faded.
"Eerhh... okay larh," she hesitated.
"How is it?! All B?!" I clasped my hands on the side of my face.
"Quite close. 3 more marks only."
"WHAT?!"
I snatched my phone, and the first thing I saw on the screen, in a table form:
.... B
.... C
A 'C'?!
I zoomed out to look at the marks, side by side with the grades.
.... 68 B
.... 57 C
For a moment, I felt my heart sank. It sank so deep, that it could actually make friends with Titanic. I thought I would actually go berserk or start screaming and shouting in anger, or even start crying and tearing up, but nothing of those came to my mind. The thing is…..
I just. Went. Blank.
I stared at my results on my dimmed screen, and sighed. Suddenly, I felt reality started kicking me in the butt, and in the face. I closed my eyes and tilt my head back towards the ceiling, stretching my arms horizontally across the table. Life sucks.
I got up from my table, suddenly feeling the slight dizziness in my head. I felt so heavy, as if there was something weighing me down. I felt like there was a whole heaped of weight on me, dragging me as I walk, like I was dragging the table from where we ate. But I guess, disappointment was the one dragging onto me.
Without looking at her face, I muttered, “Let’s go home.”
But her laugh faded.
"Eerhh... okay larh," she hesitated.
"How is it?! All B?!" I clasped my hands on the side of my face.
"Quite close. 3 more marks only."
"WHAT?!"
I snatched my phone, and the first thing I saw on the screen, in a table form:
.... B
.... C
A 'C'?!
I zoomed out to look at the marks, side by side with the grades.
.... 68 B
.... 57 C
For a moment, I felt my heart sank. It sank so deep, that it could actually make friends with Titanic. I thought I would actually go berserk or start screaming and shouting in anger, or even start crying and tearing up, but nothing of those came to my mind. The thing is…..
I just. Went. Blank.
I stared at my results on my dimmed screen, and sighed. Suddenly, I felt reality started kicking me in the butt, and in the face. I closed my eyes and tilt my head back towards the ceiling, stretching my arms horizontally across the table. Life sucks.
I got up from my table, suddenly feeling the slight dizziness in my head. I felt so heavy, as if there was something weighing me down. I felt like there was a whole heaped of weight on me, dragging me as I walk, like I was dragging the table from where we ate. But I guess, disappointment was the one dragging onto me.
Without looking at her face, I muttered, “Let’s go home.”
This chapter is dedicated to the late Mr.Loong Ah Kew, who had recently passed away due to a brain tumour. He was a secondary school discipline teacher in Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Taman Desa, and he will be deeply missed by all of his students, teachers, friends, relatives, and also his family.
You have touched the lives of many.
And one of them...
...is me.
* * *
Isn't it funny?
That you'll only start remembering the memories of a person only when he/she is gone?
I guess it happens a lot to many of us.
Because we'll only start remembering and appreciating them only after they're gone.
*RIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!*
"Did you hear? Mr.Loong is our class teacher!"
"You mean that half botak teacher in the school assembly just now? Sure anot?!"
"What?! Really?! Who told you?!?!"
A group of students who just entered the classroom started whispering and snickering.
I just so happen to eavesdrop while everyone was busy talking and choosing their 'strategic' class seats.
It was my first day of secondary school. My first time stepping into a totally new environment. 1M was the name of my class. The so called last class of the whole Form1, but I was more glad that I wasn't sentenced to "Peralihan", or the so called "Remove Class". The sound of those class names sounded more terrifying than 1M.
In short, I think 1M wasn't that bad.
1 MEGA-AWESOME CLASS mah! I told myself, trying to convince my heart that it was going to be okay.
"He very scary leh! I heard he canned students one wor," said a girl student.
"Ya lorh. He looks damn scary leh! More scarier than my mother!" said another student, seated beside the girl.
Suddenly, a man walked in to the room.
5 feet tall, slightly plumped and bald, and fair skin, his presence was enough to kill the noises of the classroom instantly. Alas, it was true, he was none other than Mr.Loong Ah Kew.
The whole classroom immediately stood up and greeted him.
"Se-la-mat Se-jah-te-ra Cik-gu."
Mr.Loong nodded in satisfaction.
"Okay. Sit down," he said.
Everyone settled down, but no one dare to make a move or a sound. Mr.Loong stood in front of the class. His eyes started scanning the whole classroom, as if he was a robot or something, but his smile instantly greeted us.
“My name is Mr.Loong, and I’ll be your class teacher from today onwards,” he said, “Since today is your first day of school, I won’t be giving any homework but I would like to get to know every one of you in this class. So, I would like all of us to introduce ourselves.”
The students started chattering softly, exchanging glances and small talks with one another.
“So let’s start from here,” he pointed.
The girl sitting at the utmost front row corner was caught by his surprised.
“Stand up, introduce yourself by saying your name, and what are your hobbies,” he said.
And one by one, every student stood up, and shared their names and hobbies to the class. Each time, giggles and laughers were exchanged as the amused Mr.Loong questioned and teased about the weird stories and hobbies that certain students had shared. And when it was finally my turn, I slowly stood up.
“My name is Siew Lin,” I said, softly. “And I like cooking.”
“Oh… So what do you usually cook?” Mr.Loong asked.
I paused for awhile. “Maggi mee?”
“Maggi mee?!” he repeated, cheekily smiling.
The class roared with laughter. The two guys who was seated in front of me kept laughing.
I stood there, feeling confused while staring at him.
Was it supposed to be funny? I asked myself.
“Well… erm… I can fried fish too,” I added on, thinking that it might help improve my previous answer. "And I can draw too!"
"Ya, teacher!" The guy in front of me said. "She can really draw!"
He lifted my plastic file up to show him the hand-drawn anime pictures pasted on my file cover.
"Damn geng you know she draw!" the guy next to him said.
Mr.Loong smiled. "Alright. Alright. Thank you Siew Lin, you may sit down."
And that was how I met Mr.Loong for the first time.
* * * * *
Mr.Loong wasn't just our class teacher, he was also our English teacher.
"Okay, class. I want you to construct a sentence using these 5 words written here," Mr.Loong said.
The words written on the blackboard:
Hostile.
Amuse.
Jovial.
Alluring.
Mischievous.
Hmm... This doesn't look tough. I know every word except the third one, I thought.
“Let me explain each word, so that you would know what each word means,” said Mr.Loong, “The first word, hostile, means being rude and aggressive to someone.”
Before I could hear him explained, I’ve had already started writing down the constructed sentences in my workbook.
“Sam’s parents didn’t like Ahmad because of his hostile attitude” I wrote.
“The next word, amused, means to be surprised at something that you least expect.”
“Alex was amused when he saw his friend showed him some magic tricks" I wrote.
The next word, jovial, the word that I didn't understand. I look up at Mr.Loong, waiting for him to explain.
"And jovial, means being happy. It describes a person who is happy-go-lucky and always in a good and happy mood," Mr.Loong said.
I look at him in amusement, something had already struck my head after he had finished describing. I look down at my workbook and immediately started scribbling:
"Mr.Loong looks very strict but he is actually a very jovial person."
 |
| Picture source: http://lukecaseyphotography.com/2013/03/12/stop-in-at-the-street-cafe-for-a-cup-of-bokeh/ |
During my 3 months university semester break, I was working as a waitress at a high class café. I’m a Malaysian Chinese, but because I had tanned skin, I was very often overlooked by customers as an Indonesian, or a Myanmar worker. Having foreign workers in a café is very common in Malaysia especially in the food and beverage industry.
One day, a man and his wife dined in our café. The man and his wife look like they were in their mid-40’s. I took their order. The man had already made up his mind and ordered some Western dish, while on the other hand, his wife was still looking at the menu. While I was waiting for his wife, the man suddenly spoke up to me.
“Where are you studying?” he asked.
I was puzzled. “Hmm? You mean me?” I asked.
“Yes. You.”
I was taken aback by his questions because it was the first time a customer, a stranger, had asked me this question.
“Sunway University, sir,” I replied.
“I see,” he replied.
He didn’t continue the conversation and there was a little silence, but something inside me got curious enough to continue the conversation.
“Why did you ask, sir?” I asked, curiously.
He looked up to me and said, “’coz you look like a person who is studying in university.”
Deep inside, those words were pleasure to my ears. My heart leaped with joy and glee. From our short conversation, I found out that the man was a senior lecturer at a local university. I was happy because, for the first time in my entire life, someone saw some potential in me instead of asking common questions like, “Are you local?”, “Are you a Malay?”, or even “Are you an Indonesian?”
From his words, I realized that it is so important to look the good in others and see their deepest potentiality, and to motivate them. Because since then, the man’s words became my internal motivator to motivate myself to finish my degree studies. Now, that the incident was 2 years ago, at this moment, I’m currently studying for my last final examination paper.
I still remember his exact words since that day.
I was quite dissatisfied with myself to switch my window seat with another passenger. I half-reluctantly gave up my seat so that the man and his child could be together.
I was seated in the middle lane, near to the aisle on the right.
I looked at disbelief at the couple and the two child.
The mother and a boy were seated in front, while the father and a boy, much younger, were seated behind.
The mother seems to be busy keeping her passport and belongings.
Her passport was green in colour, and the gold printed wordings on the book that says "The United States".
"Seems like the family is from the U.S.," I thought.
"We're moving! We're moving!" screamed the child with joy, who was seated oppositely behind.
I turned around to peek at the child.
He stared at me with his big, round, innocent eyes.
I smiled at him.
He smiled back, but he shyed away.
I turned to look at my front before turning to look at him again.
I smiled, and he smiled again! But shyed away as usual.
"Daddy! Daddy!" he shook his father.
I quickly turned to look in front before the father caught me staring at his son. Scared that he'll suspect me for attempting to kidnap his son.
Suddenly, the plane took off.
I took a peek at the boy again.
The boy was squealing in joy and excitement! His eyes were wide opened with glee and excitement.
He kept looking out the window as he excitedly clapped his hands repeatedly on his soft thigh.
It was really pure happiness looking at him, being so happy.
And I knew right then...
...that his happiness, was my happiness.
:)
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"Hee Loong!" a girl shouted in the middle of the crowd. "Hee Loooooong!"
Hee Loong turned around, and saw a familiar figure walking towards him.
It was dark and the only source of light was the flames of the little candles.
"Where were you," said the girl. Her name was Song Lynn. "I've been searching for you for so long! And where's your candle?!" Song Lynn held her candle up to Hee Loong's surprise face.
Hee Loong smiled. "Why do I need a candle when I got you?"
Song Lynn lightly punch him in the chest. "You're crazy... Come on, let's go home before my candle goes out."
Hee Loong and Song Lynn walk side by side on the empty streets of Wu Zhen city, China.
"You know Song Lynn, I'm so proud of you," said Hee Loong.
Song Lynn look at him. "Really? Why arh?"
"I've seen you grown for all these years and so much changes have made you for who you are today," said Hee Loong.
Song Lynn looked down and smiled, shyly.
"Yeah I know... I'm surprise that I have change so much after going through so many things. Funny to say, I seem to inspire myself."
Song Lynn stopped in her tracks and looked at Hee Loong.
"But you know, I couldn't have done it without you, you know. You're the reason I have changed so much. You inspire me to change, Hee Loong."
Hee Loong look at Song Lynn, and smiled. He pull Song Lynn closed to him into a hug. Song Lynn was surprised.
"But you wanna know the truth?" said Hee Loong.
"What?"
"You inspired me the most, Song Lynn."
* * *
And that was that, that was the last meaningful conversation between the Hee Loong and Song Lynn. Nothing else flourish between the both of them, because it was just a brotherly love and a sisterly love relationship.
I was sleeping on the bed. At someone's house.
I was deep asleep because I felt so drained and tired that I just wanted to sleep.
But you came in and you came to my side, lightly touching me.
I was annoyed that you were disturbing my sleep but I was yearning for you to be here with me.
I wrapped my arms around your neck, bringing you closer to me. You started to say something, but nothing is going through my head because I just wanted to sleep. But I felt so safe at the moment, knowing that you were here with me.
You started lifting me up from my bed and you carried me in your arms.
You walked out from the room, with me lying against your shoulder, sleeping.
You kept walking and walking, with my arms still around your neck.
I don't know where I was going, but I didn't really care because I was just so tired.
We entered a dark room, and I felt my body being lowered onto a bed.
And I felt something moving beside me. It was you.
You wrapped your arms around me and brought me closer to you in a spooning position.
For a moment, it felt so comfortable to be by your side, knowing that you're there.
For a moment, it felt so comfortable to be by your side, knowing that you're there.
Your warmth and closeness gave me so much security that I felt like I was fading into another dream.
Suddenly, I felt your presence was slowly disappearing.
I turned around and I saw...
... nothing there.
He wasn't very good looking, but his imperfections made everything look just perfect.
I kept staring at him, trying to stay in eye-contact as much as possible. Feeling afraid that I wouldn't able to see him the way I see him ever again.
I lightly brushed against his arm as I laughed at his joke.
I looked at him as we sat there silently in the car, wishing the moment wouldn't end just like that.
"Don't go off first,"I said."There's something that I need to pass to you."
"Pass me something? What is that?" He smiled slyly.
"Hmm... You'll find out." I smiled, as I closed the door.
Shortly after I came back, I passed him a small wrapped gift in pink, decorated with a neatly tied pink ribbon. A smile appeared across his surprise face.
"What is this?" He asked, curiously.
"Hmm... Don't know. Go home and find out," I smiled and shrugged.
* * *
Few days ago...
"Let me ask you. Usually, what kind of present does a guy like?" I asked.
The soft tapping sounds could be heard as I blind-fully type out my thoughts out.
It's 4.45am. Seems to be that the insomnia is kicking in already.
"Hmm... I got no idea. A kiss?" He replied.
"A kiss?! Seriously?!" I instantly replied.
"Really larh...."
"Eh... Really larhhh... Can you give me an appropriate answer," I snorted. "I'm buying a gift for a guy friend and I can't give him a kiss larh..."
"Hmm... A wallet? Belt? A wristband?"
"Hmm... Just pretend if it was you. What will you ask for?" I asked casually.
"A kiss." He laughed.
"-____-" I replied.
"Okay okay... Other than a kiss, what else? Do you like chocolates?" I asked, trying to avoid the topic about kissing.
"-____-" I replied.
"Okay okay... Other than a kiss, what else? Do you like chocolates?" I asked, trying to avoid the topic about kissing.
"Okay okay lorh... but I prefer dark chocolates. Or maybe the ones with alcohol. Those 2 are my favourites." He pointed out. He seems to not noticed of the sudden change of topic to chocolates.
"Hmm... Right! I think I know what to get for my friend already! Hehe..." I exclaimed. "I'll buy him dark chocolates! Since it's the cheapest.... HAHA!!"
"-_-" He typed.
"Hmm... Right! I think I know what to get for my friend already! Hehe..." I exclaimed. "I'll buy him dark chocolates! Since it's the cheapest.... HAHA!!"
"-_-" He typed.
* * *
I could still mesmerized his physical presence as if he was standing close behind me.
Initially, it is.
That friend was you.
"I want a helium balloon," Recci whines.
The whole group stared at her.
"Come on Recci... Are you still a kid?" one of her friends added.
"But... I just want one...," Recci frowns.
The group continues chatting about something else. Oblivious to the others, Recci noticed another group of amateurs chatting happily and loudly. They were all holding strings of helium balloons. Recci slumps back into her seat, watching them. The group started cheering and encoring about something, which slowly fades into small chuckles and laugher.
Recci notices a red helium balloon, motionlessly floating across the ceiling of the hall.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
It most probably had escaped from the group of amateurs she had observed earlier on.
And, now, she kept eyeing on it.
"I want...," Recci points hopelessly at the floating balloon. Sitting up-straight in her seat, but she was too weak to move.
But her friends seemed oblivious to Recci's wants.
On the other end of the table, Kenny watched on. He looks like he was thinking of something.
Out of nowhere, Kenny stood up from his seat and manage to grab onto the ends of the broken balloon string. He did it with ease, and he thoughtlessly gave the red balloon to Recci.
Recci smile with joy!
"Thank you!" Was all she could say, and nothing else could replace her heart filled with internal bliss!
She held onto the balloon, tugging onto the string as if it were a flying kite.
And she felt something. The undescribable feeling of something in her heart. Something that is itching and crying inside of her, but it was a good feeling.
It's either because of the balloon. Or him.
And the best part is, no one knows.
"It's been 2 weeks now, and we're nowhere near being prepared for the competition," Katey complained.
"That's because you're not feeling it yet. The music. The emotions. The movements. Dancing with you it's like dancing with an iron-board," Javier commented.
Katey sigh.
"Closed your eyes," Javier continued. "Come on, closed it."
Katey hesitated but still closes her eyes.
Javiers puts his hands at Katey hips and slowly, and gently swayed her hips and body along to the music.
He stops. He knew she wasn't feeling it yet.
He moved behind her, and gently moved his hands from her hips to her...
"Do you have to be such a guy?!" Katey spouted, moving away from Javier.
Javier looked at Katey.
"Okay," said Javier,"Okay. Then, I'll be the girl."
He brushed his eyebrows with this thumb, sweeps his hair to the back, and pulled down his collar shirt to reveal his sexy shoulders. And he starts dancing, like a girl.
Katey laughs.
Jennifer knew it was his habit to look at his watch every so often. That's why a watch would be a perfect present for his 24th birthday. A perfect replacement for his old one.
It was not any simple wrist watch that a person could buy from in the cheap night market. It was a couple watch. The brown smooth leather strip and the soft ticks from the watch gave it an outstanding look on it.Wrapped in a small decorative container and on top of that, a fancy ribbon on it.
It was not any simple wrist watch that a person could buy from in the cheap night market. It was a couple watch. The brown smooth leather strip and the soft ticks from the watch gave it an outstanding look on it.Wrapped in a small decorative container and on top of that, a fancy ribbon on it.
She walks out from the shop and heads straight to the entrance mall. It was 7.23pm on her pink watch.
She was on time. She couldn't wait to see the look on his surprised face.
"Hey there beautiful." A voice said.
Jennifer turns around and was greeted with a wide grin on his face.
"Hey handsome! Happy birthday," Jennifer greeted and gives him a big birthday hug.
She takes out the small box and handed it to him.
"Here! Your birthday present," she grins.
"Aww...you shouldn't have. Thank you so much my dear," he says and gives her a peck on her cheek.
"Let's sit over there by the bench," he says. "I can't wait to see what's inside."
After settling down, he opens the box and was astounded from what was inside. Yes, it was indeed the watch she bought earlier. It was the same type of watch she was wearing, except it was in blue in colour.
"This is the greatest birthday present my dear," he says and gives her a kiss on the cheek again.
Jennifer smile.
"Go ahead. Try it on," she urged.
He carefully took out the watch, and instead of wearing on the left side of his wrist, he wore it on the right side.
But, there was something that Jennifer was curious about.
She was curious about him for wearing most of his watches on his right hand side instead on his left.
She was pretty sure he was a right-handed person. And right-handed people always wear their watches on their left side, no?
"It looks great!" He praised but noticed the trouble look on her face.
"What's the matter my dear? What's troubling you?"
"Erm...well...," Jennifer hesitated. "Just wondering...why do you wear your watches on your right hand side instead on your left?"
He pause for a moment, took a deep breath and smiles.
"Well you see, you would have happen to know that I've a habit of looking at my watch every so often," he started.
"So, this annoy me so much that I have to wear it on my right hand."
Jennifer was confused. "Why is it annoying to you?" she ask.
"Hmm...well, to look at the time, I would have to lift up my hands to look at the time, right?"
She nods her head.
"Well, if I have the chance to hold that someone's special hand, I would want to hold her hand, as long as I can, without letting it go. So, that's why I would want to wear my watch on the right hand side instead of the left hand side. So that I could hold onto your hands, without letting it go, and as well as to look at the time." He smiles.
He took her right hand into his. Holding her hands firmly.
She was stun by his romantic words and felt her heart melt instantly.
"But, time is precious you know. Because time is money," he added on. "And time is for healing, and as well as loving."
He smiles.
- End -
***
She was on time. She couldn't wait to see the look on his surprised face.
"Hey there beautiful." A voice said.
Jennifer turns around and was greeted with a wide grin on his face.
"Hey handsome! Happy birthday," Jennifer greeted and gives him a big birthday hug.
She takes out the small box and handed it to him.
"Here! Your birthday present," she grins.
"Aww...you shouldn't have. Thank you so much my dear," he says and gives her a peck on her cheek.
"Let's sit over there by the bench," he says. "I can't wait to see what's inside."
After settling down, he opens the box and was astounded from what was inside. Yes, it was indeed the watch she bought earlier. It was the same type of watch she was wearing, except it was in blue in colour.
"This is the greatest birthday present my dear," he says and gives her a kiss on the cheek again.
Jennifer smile.
"Go ahead. Try it on," she urged.
He carefully took out the watch, and instead of wearing on the left side of his wrist, he wore it on the right side.
But, there was something that Jennifer was curious about.
She was curious about him for wearing most of his watches on his right hand side instead on his left.
She was pretty sure he was a right-handed person. And right-handed people always wear their watches on their left side, no?
"It looks great!" He praised but noticed the trouble look on her face.
"What's the matter my dear? What's troubling you?"
"Erm...well...," Jennifer hesitated. "Just wondering...why do you wear your watches on your right hand side instead on your left?"
He pause for a moment, took a deep breath and smiles.
"Well you see, you would have happen to know that I've a habit of looking at my watch every so often," he started.
"So, this annoy me so much that I have to wear it on my right hand."
Jennifer was confused. "Why is it annoying to you?" she ask.
"Hmm...well, to look at the time, I would have to lift up my hands to look at the time, right?"
She nods her head.
"Well, if I have the chance to hold that someone's special hand, I would want to hold her hand, as long as I can, without letting it go. So, that's why I would want to wear my watch on the right hand side instead of the left hand side. So that I could hold onto your hands, without letting it go, and as well as to look at the time." He smiles.
He took her right hand into his. Holding her hands firmly.
She was stun by his romantic words and felt her heart melt instantly.
"But, time is precious you know. Because time is money," he added on. "And time is for healing, and as well as loving."
He smiles.
- End -
***
Does this story sounds familiar to you? If you think it is, then yes, you're absolutely right! 'Coz this story was written in one of my chapters in "Can I Help You", chapter 6. It is a sad thing because I won't be writing on it any longer, and the idea was thrown away just for that story. I decide to re-write on it so many could read on it.
This idea was inspired by one of my special friend, who was once belonged to my heart.
It was one of those lonely late nights. A taxi driver was driving around, completing his night duty. It was a cool breezy night.
The taxi driver was gonna retire for the night, when he saw a lady, waving at the bus stop.
She was standing alone at a deserted bus stop, halting for him to stop. She has long hair and was wearing a white dress.
It was already 2am, the taxi driver came to a stop to pick up the lady. The lady open the door. The taxi driver had a clear view of the lady, by looking at the rear mirror. Her face was covered with her long hair and she looks like she was carrying something in her basket. The taxi driver notice that it was paper money, the ones that is used to be burn for the dead. A sweet aromatic smell filled the air in the car.
The taxi driver was a bit freak out. But, he tried to remain calm. He hold the amulet in his pocket, chanting for protection.
"Where would you like to go, Miss?" The taxi driver voice trembled.
"To the Sungai Bulu Cemetery," The lady said.
It was already 2am in the morning, but the lady insists of going to a cemetery? The taxi driver gulped down his fear as he begins to drive the lady to the cemetery.
Upon reaching the cemetery, he pulled the taxi into a stop. The taxi driver was a bit relieved that this scary experience was going to be over by then.
"RM15.40," he says.
The lady reached out for her money in her basket. She gave the money to the taxi driver and pack her things, getting ready to leave. The taxi driver took the money. He heard the rear passenger door open. Just then, he look at the rear mirror to see her leave.
But, the lady has all of a sudden, disappear!! Creep out, he tighten his grip on the money in his hands. But, he found out that it wasn't Malaysian dollar notes. It was paper money!!
The passenger door suddenly slammed shut. A strong cold breeze came, sending him shivers down his spine. His hair was standing on his ends!
Suddenly there were moaning noises outside of his car. The taxi driver was so scared, he literally peed in his pants!
All of a sudden, a hand smacked onto his windows. There was blood everywhere, making the windows look bloody and messy.
Suddenly, a bloody looking figure appeared beside his door. It was the lady just now. Her body is all covered in blood and her hair is all messed up. Because he was too scared, he couldn't wind up the window.
The bloody lady came closer to him, revealing a more bloodied face. She point her crooked fingers at him and said,"Next time, please don't ever stop your car beside the drain please!!!"
It was a normal Saturday night, hanging out with a gang of 5 old friends. Philip, he was the eldest among the gang, also a leader, decided to head to the pub.
He ask us whether we want to tag along. He wanted to show us some old performing band playing in an old pub.
Well, to spice up my Saturday night, I decided to go along. Not because everyone was going, but since I've never been to a pub, so, why not?!
Upon arriving there, we made the "big" entrance, everyone eyes turn to meet upon us.
Okay, let's see.
I'm still 17 going on 18. One year difference won't hurt, aye?
And then, there's my black sports shirt and black pants with a pair of white Nike running shoes and with my hair neatly tied.
Oh, who cares?! I don't care what I wear to the pub?!
Anyway, we manage to find a table for ourselves, which is just right in front of the stage, at the dark corner.
We were early, because there were people on stage making preparations.
There were rock musics playing through the amplifiers.
The smell of cigarette smokes fills the air, mixing with the smell of beer and the air-conditioning.
A sexy waitress strolls along to our table and kindly ask us anything that we which to order. She brought us the drinks Menu as well. I saw a pen sticking between her cleavage. I bet all the guys are dying to use her pen. I glance through the list of drinks.
Philip knew it was my first time there. He gave me a warm smile and said, “Order anything that you like. You can try a glass of cocktail, if you can’t finish, you can give it to me.”
Beer.
Cocktails.
Vodkas.
Isn’t there any other drinks which doesn’t involve a drop of alcohol?
Yes! There! Bingo! At the corner of my eyes, a list of fruit juices were listed.
I ordered a glass of mango juice. Thinking, that I have to play safe just for the night.
As, we settle down into the environment. I look around the surroundings. Old middle-age people hanging around. Sober people. Happy people. Stress up people. Emotional people. Many types of people!
I took a sip from my juice, as I continue observing the people around me. The music, blaring from its speakers. My heartbeat, following the beat of the music. The speaker annoys me so much, that I could just imagine myself turning into this hideous gorilla and flinging those gigantic amplifiers at the crowd. It was placed in front of me.
Finally, the band, led by 4 people in their 40’s started performing. I forgot the band’s name, because their not as important as my SPM syllables.
Because they were playing all oldies songs, there were some songs which I couldn’t recognize.
As I observe the 2 lead singers singing, one with long hair and big specs playing the guitar. While the other, curly shoulder length hair with a moustache, his unbutton shirt and his bulging stomach, he’s the leader of the band.
They sing good songs. They’ve got the voice to sing it.
I went home late that night.
~ ~ ~
Reviews
But, seriously, the long hair man with his guitar. The more I see him play, the more I think that his hair is fake.
On the other hand, the lead singer with the curly hair and moustache. I keep staring at his bulging stomach. Not to be offensive, but it kept me thinking as I look at him. I thought to myself, is this all he does with his life? Sings in a pub, drinks beer, sleeps when the sun rises, wakes up again and sing? Wow. That’s a life that I wouldn’t want of.
People. A pub is a place where many different people are gathered together. Just by looking at them, you could read them just like an open storybook.
3 middle-age ladies sat on the table, drinking beer. 3 of them, not talking. Maybe, they’ve been friends for many years, and just wanted to chill out together after a rough day at work. As, they say, Silence Is Golden.
A lady sitting and enjoying the beautiful oldies music. Maybe, she’s a mother who is having a break from her households chores and comes to the bar every night without fail to listen to her favourite band playing.
A man in his 50’s sitting at the bar, downing a bottle of beer. Probably, he had fought with his spouse or he just had a rough day at work.
There are many different people with many different stories written inside them.
And, one of it is about a lady who made her first trip to a pub, and begun looking at these weird people around her and writing it down as her own experience story. That lady, was me. Obviously.
When You Divorce Me,
Carry Me Out in Your Arms.
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy..
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, okay?
I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body.
This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me,"Darling, divorce her, okay? Then we live
together."
I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, Why?
I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry..
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her ! reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month lat! er and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,
Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment.
"Dad, it's time to carry mum out", he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious!
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever", she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew", I said,"I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Dew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I'm a loving husband.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage.
The End
Originally Written By : Author Unknown
As I help mom to the bathroom, holding her hands firmly to support her as she slowly got up from her bed after eating the birthday cake.
Uncle & Aunty started teasing me to leave me behind to stay with mom in the hospital. I glared at them while I supported my mom to the bathroom, grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste before entering the bathroom.
Aunty pestered me to go help mom wiped her body. But I must as well just help her wash up and let mom go to bed. Can't stand the thought of me wiping her body.
Mom voice is so weak, it sounded like a baby bird squeaking. Her eyes were like a motherly eyes I've seen for 15 years. Her wrinkles looked more obvious now, as she started to age a lot.
Seeing the sight of that made me feel sad.
Today's her birthday. I remembered clearly, although I forgotten many times. I gave her my present yesterday in advance. RM13 Famous Amos cookies. She likes to eat. But kinda sad though, she has been hospitalized and couldn't eat too much. But she loves it. And I was the only daughter who gave her a present.
"Hold this cloth first," mom told me while she slowly helped herself to the toilet bowl.
I saw the packet of blood she's carry around with her. The removal of her paste.
Blood.
It gives me the creeps and sends pain across my body. Wonder why I'm in St.John Ambulance when I fear blood most.
I look away from the packet of blood, trying to calm myself down.
After finishing her business, I gave her her toothbrush as she begin brushing her teeth.
I looked outside. Everyone was waiting outside, talking.
She wiped her face with the wet cloth. I stand there, watching her every move, holding the toothbrush and the cup.
She was ready to go out after rinsing the cloth.
"No need to wipe your body meh," I asked looking at her.
"You help me arh," mom replied back with a soft tone.
"Of course I help larh."
"Okay"
She turned around and I took the wet cloth to wipe her back.
Rinse the cloth and wipe her upper body part.
I rinse the cloth repeatedly after wiping each part of the body.
I was about to wipe her chest, as I look at her.
Mom gave me a weak smile and said slowly,"Thank you so much....This is one of my best present I've ever had," she paused for a moment before continuing,"Thank you for your lovely present....I love it very much."
A moment of sadness strikes right in my heart. I didn't dare to look at her again, as I quickly turned around to rinse the cloth the last time without saying anything.
I felt so useless as a daughter to her. I've never been a good girl. I was always naughty. Always making my mom worried when I didn't tell her where I'm going. And yet she showered me with all her love.
Taking care of me. Cooking lunch for me so I won't starve myself in the afternoon. Work so hard to earn the money to support us.
And what good have I done for her?
Just, nothing.
I hold back my tears. There's no way I'm gonna cry in front of my mom. But, I know, she knows that I was crying silently. I hit the confidence button and a whole boost of confidence came running back to me.
"Let's go," I sing cheerfully as I helped mom out from the bathroom. Trying to cover my emotionless me.
As we stepped out from the bathroom. Everyone looking at us.
Chee Hou helped her back down on the bed. I walk out from the ward and took a deep breath before walking back in again. Refreshed.
After that, we spent a few moments chatting then we left the hospital. I was the last to leaved the room. Giving mom a big hug before leaving.
As I caught up with my Aunt, Uncle, Grandmas and my cousins, chatting happily away, on our way to have a family dinner together. Walking a new way in life.
Uncle sticked out the cigarette box. Lighting the cigarette.
"So, where you wanna eat?"
Everyone shouted McDonald's. I laughed along with them.
My laughter caught uncle's attention. He stared at me for awhile. He make a puff and say
"Aren't you suppose to stay with mom?"
Author's note : This is a non-fiction story based on my own experience
Happy Birthday Mom. I love you.
A small red book stood alone in the empty world of black and white. I came closer to get a good look at it and the pages fluttered open to a specific entry. I picked up and found it was the memoirs of a dying boy's last days. Kim Jae Duc. These entries chronicled the last days of his life as he fought his battle with cancer. The moment I picked the book up, I felt a cool breeze circulating me and it's giving me the chills as if Kim Jae Duc's spirit is still here. Read along with me because I'm afraid to read it alone. Kim Jae Duc might not like me going through his personal belongings
*~*~*~*
Dear Journal, (Journal sounds more masculine, don't you think?)
First of all, you must be wondering why a guy would keep a journal right? The reason I have you is because I need something to reveal my innermost thoughts and secrets to but I can't tell a living soul. I, Kim Jae Duc, have a terrible, dark secret. Besides my parents and the doctors, you're the only thing that knows the truth about me.
I am going to DIE.
I can't believe it. I'm still so young but now I have to face the harsh reality that I'm going to die soon. Oh my God, why me? One day I was healthy like a lamb, the next day I found out I was going to die. It was supposed to be one of those glorious summers days but when I just woke up and got out of bed-ow, that pain again.
It felt like something was eating my insides and it was slowly moving it's way toward my back. At first I thought the aches and pain came from my dancing but then I realised how much worse it got at night. I've been trying to avoid the pain and I've been really good at working around it but suddenly today the pain struck. It hurt so badly. I was dancing and suddenly this deep, excruciating burst of pain caused me to double over and black out. When I came to, I'm lying right here in this hospital bed and that's why I'm writing to you right now. The first noise I heard was someone crying. I recognised that voice anywhere. It was my mommy.
Oh God.
Whatever it is, I've got it bad. I know it's not for certain but the first thing that came to my mind is that I'm going to die. The doctors already ran some tests and this sonogram on me so I'll know the results in the morning. I don't want to think about this anymore. I need to think about something else that will take my mind off it.
Seo Hye Young. I wonder what she's doing right now. Is she thinking about me?
Very unlikely.
She's been yearning for Jae Jin the past 4 years already, she doesn't even know that I existed. But wait, she was there when I fainted. I wonder if she'll be one of those Florence Nightingale nurses and heal me with her love. Hee hee.
Ouch.
I think I'll go to sleep now. Good night and see you in the morning.
Love, Duckie
***
June 10
Pancreatic/Liver Cancer.
That's what I've been diagnosed with. Oh my gawd, I don't believe it. I do have a real disease and I'm going to die from it. When I checked my stomach, the skin was still smooth and intact. But I kept thinking that there's going to be this little alien (like in the movies) that's going to pop out any minute now and it's going to kill me.
The tumour had already spread to my liver and around my pancreas and I've reached Stage III. No operation can be done for me and no medicine in the world will save me.
Those fucking doctors.(Pardon my French)
How can I reach Stage III without anyone noticing or detecting that there is something wrong with me? But it's my fault that I didn't go to the doctor sooner. And now, I must pay for my mistakes. That's so unfair! I can't die yet! I still haven't asked Hye Young out and I still haven't opened my dance school. I never felt so hopeless in my life.
Today, just to distract myself, I thought of Hye Young. When I think about it, there isn't anything remarkable about her looks, she was just ordinary. Long black hair, 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, a mouth and around 5'.
Overall, just average.
But I did fall in love with her the moment we met. It was her kind and gentle heart that captured my own. It was 4 years ago and I was practicing some new moves I created. I think I showed off too much and my ankle snapped when I was doing my back-down dance. Hye Young appeared out of nowhere and she fixed it for me.
And that moment, in my head I heard a choir singing and a mist surrounded Hye Young as if heaven was welcoming her. Seo Hye Young was an angel.
My angel.
But too soon I came to learn that she came looking for Jae Jin. I know she's my best friend's girl and she's off limits but my heart won't let me stop loving her. I'm getting a headache from all this. I'm going to take a nap now.
Laters, Jae Duc.
***
June 11
Hi Choom Ggoon!
I've decided to give you a name instead of calling you 'journal'. It's my nickname that my friends had given me and since I can't tell myself that, I'll call you that now. :)
Jin came to visit me today. I know I should sound more enthusiastic about it since he's my best friend and all, but I was disappointed that Hye Young wasn't there. As if Jae Jin could read my mind, he informed me that Hye Young would be visiting me when I come home tomorrow.
Yikes!
Did he know? He couldn't have possibly guessed it, I've been too discreet about my secret crush on Hye Young. Still, I couldn't help but feel that I've betrayed my best friend. Jae Jin spend the whole day with me, filling me in what I've missed and all but I kept pondering him with questions about Hye Young. I tried to make myself less obvious and nonchalant as possible but I talk too much for my own sake. Let's just see what happens tomorrow. I think I'll end this entry here.
Me, the Quackster
***
June 12
HyeYoungcametoseeme!HyeYoungcametoseeme!HyeYoungcametoseeme! Hold on, let me catch my breath. I'm getting too excited over this simple, friendly gesture. Now that I've calmed down a bit, let me tell you what happened Choom Ggoon. Hye Young came to see me! Yes, me!
Can you believe it?
I couldn't either but when I came home today she was already at my house with flowers. Well, she wasn't the only one there because all the guys in QuickSilver and a few other friends from school were there too. But still, it doesn't matter to me. Hye Young was there.
Everybody was unusually nice to me and pretends that nothing is going on but I did overhear the doctors telling my parents to go on with our normal daily life as if nothing happened.
Qucksilver.
Those bastards. Always forgetting my birthday on purpose but today they showered me with gifts like there's no tomorrow. Jeez. The best gift they give me is a few minutes alone with Hye Young. I wanted to talk to her.
No! It's not what you're thinking. I may seem easy-going and talkative and there's this sickness in my hands that's making my life run short, but I'm still not ready to confess my undying love for her yet. Maybe I'll say that tomorrow but not today. There are too many people at my house and I can't stand the embarrassment of being rejected.
Everyone stayed pretty late and Hye Young was the last to leave. I wailed her to the door and she blessed me with the news of visiting me tomorrow. Hopefully tonight I'll see her in my dreams.
Yours truly, Duckie
***
June 13
Choon Ggoom!
You won't believe what happened today! I know, so many surprises huh? Hye Young told me she loves me! Can you believe it? I'm going in a wild frenzy right now at this unexpected confession. I'm going delirious and overjoyed beyond my wildest imagination. I've always dreamed of Hye Young someday saying those words but now that she has, I just don't know how to take it.
I asked about Jae Jin and she told me that they were just friends now and I'm not that bad guy! Yay!
So should I just close my eyes and plunge right in or give it some time? No, I really can't give it time. The grains of sand in my hourglass are running out fast and every minute is precious to me. Hye Young was so sweet, she didn't pressure me to say that I love her back (although I do) and she said that she'd give me some time. I don't think, I know I'm in love. More updates later.
Mr.Seo Hye Young (hee hee)
***
June 13 thru June 18
This whole week had been my dream of an ideal heaven. I spent every waking moment with Hye Young. She was just so cute! She took me to the mall, ice-skating and even raving! I can't remember when I had this much fun. Hye Young had even kissed me several times during our dates.
(Jeez, I'm blushing right now just telling you this :))
At first I was so surprised to say or do anything but after a while I began to open up and kissed her back. It felt completely natural as if I've been kissing her my whole life. I think I just discovered what the meaning of life is.
Seo Hye Young.
Up until now, I haven't realized what it felt like to be fulfilled and be truly happy. I guess when you don't have much time you cherish it more now. Things with Hye Young are going along so well now that I would hate to see it end. My outlook for the future is really bleak and fleeting. But you never know, you might be hearing some wedding bells soon. I gotta go call Hye Young now and make plans for tomorrow. Sorry this entry isn't long.
Bye!
Duckie
***
June 19
I hate Lee Jae Jin and Seo Hye Young. That ===== and that stupid =====. Sorry Choom Ggoon. I had to scratch out those cuss words. They don't really deserve that from me. But I can't believe them! Let me tell you what happened. Today Hye Young took me to Lotte World and it started out wonderful but it ended in disaster.
My heart was broken. :(
Anyway, we were heading on home and Hye Young said she needed to go to the bathroom real quick. I waited for her but after a while, I got worried so I looked for her. I saw her talking to Jae Jin and they must have not see me come closer to them.
My senses have become dull but my hearing was sharpened. I overheard them talking about how their plan is going well to make my days better. Hye Young had pretended to like me all this time. It felt like someone had stab me with a thousand knives.
I don't want their damn pity!
I strode over to them and gave them a piece of my mind. Then, I ran home. They had called several times and I hung up on them each time. I don't ever want to see them again. Never would be too soon for me. I never felt so betrayed in my life. My best friend and my only love scheming against me. I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now. G'nite.
Jae Duc.
***
June 20
Sorry Choom Ggoon. Tonight I don't feel too well. I can hardly hold up this pen to write. I haven't heard from those two people yet so I don't have any news to fill you in with. I'll be heading off to bed now. Talk to you later.
Kim Jae Duc
***
June 21 thru June 28
[The missing entries]
***
June 29
My dearest Choom Ggoon,
Don't you think that I've been neglecting you. The night that I wrote to you the merciless pain hit hard and I was rushed to the hospital immediately. They did an anagram and a laparatomy on me. The pain was unbearable. The anagram made me stick tubes in my veins and the laparatomy is the exploratory examination where they had to cut me open.
Now I've got holes and stitches everywhere. But you know what? During my hallucination, I could have sworn I saw Hye Young in the operating room but I don't think she's allowed in. Maybe I miss her too much and I'm seeing things. After the operation, I look like a freak, but luckily, I still have my hair. I forgot to mention to you that patients diagnosed with this type of cancer have a life span of 3 weeks to 3 months.
Not very long huh?
And I've already wasted...how long? I have no idea because I didn't check with the doctor soon enough to find out when the cancer had spread. This silent disease is now eating me away. I could go any day now. These long days that I had spent in the hospital bed, I kept replaying the scene of Jae Jin and Hye Young in my head over and over again. Two people in the world that I loved the most hurt me more than this cancer ever could. I don't want to think about them anymore and right now, you're my only friend.
No one understands what I'm going through. They don't know what it feels like living each day wondering if it's going to be their last. Well, that's it from me now. Bye bye...
Duckie
***
June 30
Hye Young came by today. I didn't want to see her though. I specifically told my mommy that I wanted no visitors, but when Hye Young left, my mommy came in with this card from her. I threw it into the corner, not bothering to even read it. It's probably one of those 'Dear Abby' letters, begging me for forgiveness. I want nothing to do with her anymore.
I hate Seo Hye Young and Lee Jae Jin.
Wait, I take that back. Hate is such a strong word. To be honest Choom Ggoon, I still love them both but I'm not ready to forgive them for what they did. It was deceitful and down-right wrong.
My mommy brought breakfast in bed for me today. I felt so bad just looking at her. I loved my parents dearly and this whole time I've been neglecting them. I was so selfish, thinking only about myself and not them. My parents seem to age these past few weeks worrying over me but I just told them how much I love them both. My mommy's choking sobs and daddy's proud face let me know that they understood.
Later on I overheard them whispering to each other about how I'm going downhill so fast. How much weaker I was and how much paler I was becoming. I don't care. (I know I'm being selfish again) I don't give a damn about anything anymore. I just want to die right now and not listen to all this crap. Ironically, what I really wanted is more time to sort out my feelings and figure out how to solve this whole mess. I'm just going to sleep on it now Choom Ggoon.
Thanks for listening.
Duckie
***
July 1
I want to live. Up until yesterday, I didn't have a chance to acknowledge that it's my unconditional right to live. My cancer must have spread to my brain or something because it made a hella cranky and less understanding. Last night a startling revelation came to me.
So what if Jae Jin and Hye Young tricked me? They were only doing it because they loved me as much as I loved them. I called Jae Jin and apologized for acting like such a jerk. He accepted it graciously like any good friend would. Now all I have left to do is confess my love to Hye Young. It was an abrupt decision on my part but I had no choice. I was desperate and I'm running out of time.
It doesn't matter to me anymore whether or not she loves me back but at least I told her. I will say the words that I've been hiding inside me for so long and reveal the truth. I love Seo Hye Young. Yes, I will definitely tell her that I love her Choom Ggoon and I will NOT back out. Yes, I will tell her I love her. Tomorrow.
Duckie
*~*~*~*
That was the last entry written by Kim Jae Duc. He never did tell Seo Hye Young that he loved her. He had died unexpectedly that night during his endless slumber. His mother had come in to check up on him, but she found her son's body had become cold and lifeless. He had died with the regret of not telling Hye Young that he loved her because Jae Duc's tomorrow never came.
If he had only opened that letter Hye Young had given him, he would have known the truth about her. Inside the envelope was Hye Young's confession that she had been secretly in love with Jae Duc the past 3 years. The first year she had dated Jae Jin but during that time her feelings had changed and Jae Jin knew it too. Hye Young still came in to Quicksilver's practice though, but only to see Jae Duc.
He brought laughter into her lonely life and upon hearing the news that Jae Duc had a terminal illness, Hye Young was but a fraction of her former self. She didn't care that Jae Duc had cancer, she just wanted to know if he had love her or not, and she wanted to spend his last remaining days with him.
So many 'ifs', yet they weren't carried out. If only one of them had made the move first, there could have been infinite possibilities for Jae Duc and Hye Young, even though their time together will be severed short. But now, we'll never know. You must be wondering how do I know that Hye Young loved Jae Duc too? The answer really is simple.
I am Seo Hye Young.
The End
Author's Note : some words are censored
Originally Written By : Val
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