As I help mom to the bathroom, holding her hands firmly to support her as she slowly got up from her bed after eating the birthday cake.

Uncle & Aunty started teasing me to leave me behind to stay with mom in the hospital. I glared at them while I supported my mom to the bathroom, grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste before entering the bathroom.

Aunty pestered me to go help mom wiped her body. But I must as well just help her wash up and let mom go to bed. Can't stand the thought of me wiping her body.

Mom voice is so weak, it sounded like a baby bird squeaking. Her eyes were like a motherly eyes I've seen for 15 years. Her wrinkles looked more obvious now, as she started to age a lot.

Seeing the sight of that made me feel sad.

Today's her birthday. I remembered clearly, although I forgotten many times. I gave her my present yesterday in advance. RM13 Famous Amos cookies. She likes to eat. But kinda sad though, she has been hospitalized and couldn't eat too much. But she loves it. And I was the only daughter who gave her a present.

"Hold this cloth first," mom told me while she slowly helped herself to the toilet bowl.

I saw the packet of blood she's carry around with her. The removal of her paste.

Blood.

It gives me the creeps and sends pain across my body. Wonder why I'm in St.John Ambulance when I fear blood most.

I look away from the packet of blood, trying to calm myself down.

After finishing her business, I gave her her toothbrush as she begin brushing her teeth.

I looked outside. Everyone was waiting outside, talking.

She wiped her face with the wet cloth. I stand there, watching her every move, holding the toothbrush and the cup.

She was ready to go out after rinsing the cloth.

"No need to wipe your body meh," I asked looking at her.

"You help me arh," mom replied back with a soft tone.

"Of course I help larh."

"Okay"

She turned around and I took the wet cloth to wipe her back.

Rinse the cloth and wipe her upper body part.

I rinse the cloth repeatedly after wiping each part of the body.

I was about to wipe her chest, as I look at her.

Mom gave me a weak smile and said slowly,"Thank you so much....This is one of my best present I've ever had," she paused for a moment before continuing,"Thank you for your lovely present....I love it very much."

A moment of sadness strikes right in my heart. I didn't dare to look at her again, as I quickly turned around to rinse the cloth the last time without saying anything.

I felt so useless as a daughter to her. I've never been a good girl. I was always naughty. Always making my mom worried when I didn't tell her where I'm going. And yet she showered me with all her love.

Taking care of me. Cooking lunch for me so I won't starve myself in the afternoon. Work so hard to earn the money to support us.

And what good have I done for her?

Just, nothing.

I hold back my tears. There's no way I'm gonna cry in front of my mom. But, I know, she knows that I was crying silently. I hit the confidence button and a whole boost of confidence came running back to me.

"Let's go," I sing cheerfully as I helped mom out from the bathroom. Trying to cover my emotionless me.

As we stepped out from the bathroom. Everyone looking at us.

Chee Hou helped her back down on the bed. I walk out from the ward and took a deep breath before walking back in again. Refreshed.

After that, we spent a few moments chatting then we left the hospital. I was the last to leaved the room. Giving mom a big hug before leaving.

As I caught up with my Aunt, Uncle, Grandmas and my cousins, chatting happily away, on our way to have a family dinner together. Walking a new way in life.

Uncle sticked out the cigarette box. Lighting the cigarette.

"So, where you wanna eat?"

Everyone shouted McDonald's. I laughed along with them.

My laughter caught uncle's attention. He stared at me for awhile. He make a puff and say

"Aren't you suppose to stay with mom?"

Author's note : This is a non-fiction story based on my own experience