Since after the post was fixed, I didn't care about it anymore...

It was a few months back already that I don't want to bring it back again.

Then, today...I had a feeling of betrayal of the whole team....

It was a feeling of anger...hatefulness...and it hurts me so much...it really does...

...it wasn't only the team...but reflects friendship as well...


During after school, in the canteen, having my lunch with Y and staying back to study Economics together later...

L showed up, I've finished eating my bread then decided to throw away the wrapper...
And a feeling of disgust of what I saw...

L was wearing her St.John Half-U...what worse can it get, when her clothes were tucking out from her pants like a samseng beggar...

Just remembered that L was the Head of the Team...and her way of doing things is...not being disciplined?

I lightly beat her butt with the back of my hand...taking it as a joke...

...and...she returned me by throwing a paper into my face...

B.I.N.G.O!!! It hitted my eyes...

Oh, gosh...can imagine...the pain...the striking pain...

I took it seriously now and beat her a few times, not really hard I guess, barely using my energy and I threw the paper away from her...filled with frustration...

Then she say outloud at me in front of M and Y...saying why should she tucked her clothes like a nerd like me!

It felt so hurtful at first, but then I got my rights because it was discipline for the Team sake!!!

I didn't manage to say it, because my vision was very blurred...

Then she added on, saying that, and it looks cool when you wear it like that...

Like...what the ****? I don't care how cool you look! I don't care how pretty you are! I don't care how "YENG" you wear the clothes! JUST 1 THING I WANT THE WHOLE TEAM TO KNOW AND KEEP IN MIND, THAT DISCIPLINE COMES FIRST!!!!

My heart came crashing down when she continued, who do you think you are?

**** IT!!! WHO DO YOU THINK AM I? I AM THE PART OF THE MEMBER DAM IT!!! ****!!!!
WHO ARE YOU?! YOU ARE THE TEAM LEADER!!! DAM IT!!!
AND IS THAT THE WAY TO TREAT YOUR MEMBER WHO HAVE JUST ONLY ASKED YOU TO TUCKED IN YOUR CLOTHES?! FARK IT!!!

Giving me a piece of shyt hell of a life time...
if not Maths Exam was giving me a hard time earlier...
Then came adding along the dicsipline of the whole team like...

****

EVEN THE JUNIORS WERE BETTER THEN THE SENIOR!!!
OH MY GOSH!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!
I ENYEVED THEM A WHOLE LOT BETTER THEN THE ****ING "FUTURE SENIORS" OF THE TEAM!!!!

Saying this makes me very angry...
and I wanted to blurt all that feeling away to someone...but just to whom right now?

It's only you bloggey...and it hurts me so much saying this...
so much...

Is that the way of a head leader of the team suppose to be? Is it?
I just want things to get better and not worser.

But then...thinking about it...
I really thought, with their attitude like that...(ecspecially the team leader)...
the team is going no where better...then the drain...