Happy 51st National Day Malaysia!!!

I'm proud to be a Malaysian...xD

(sad....no fireworks....T.T totally suckz....T.T)

lol...another First Aid Duty to do again this year...lolx...

So then...I almost lost the FA room key...lolx...was in panicked when I can't find the key...

Search until 6.50am then found the key...on the floor at the car porch...ZzZ...=.=ll

Almost gave me a heart attack...

Then all the crap things loh...this Nicholas ditched me in the FA room just to wait for the rest of the performers come back change clothes....zZz...Big bully de la he...-.-"

Then...I was the squad leader of my team A containing 2 of my members which our station will be in school...lolx...sounds kinda lame...Home-Based...so...you guess loh if there's any casualty...lolx...(of coz no la dumb dumb....-.-)

They organise the walkaton...but the principal himself didn't walk...What la...*tut*...

Was wondering if it was wasting my time to donate this money to the school...(to put stupid CCTV & watever crapz la...)

lolx...so far...duty quite boring coz no casualty...lolx...after 30minutes the students come back from their so called "walkaton"...lol...I take so many free snackz...lolx...greedy me...xD But i can't stand it....coz it's FOC (free of charge) lolx...

Nicholas was pretty pissing off...dunno y...suddenly say want make the squad leaders do pumping...lol...then sent us off for another duty...-.-"

Then the students were all gathered at the Arena Wira to hear the "Music Of Life" (means...the teacher boring talk...-.- im so mean...yes of coz i am..-.-") they were talking about this stupid expensive handphone n about it's qualities...walao eh...RM800++ siao lang...I no need eat Char Siew Pao anymore liao leh...

At 10.45am, Sara's dad fetch me home...and this couple of pengawas giving us trouble from letting us go home...lolx...

The school suppose to end at 10.30am...but the talking crap stuff also haven't finish liao...lol....

So....dunno la...go home loh.....and...lolx...Nicholas forget to punish us pumping??lolx...He was so busying dating his *Ahem in the FA Room...ZzZ....-.-"

And the *Ahem arh...keep following Sara arh...lol...see him want make me slap him leh....soo annoying...-.-" ECSPECIALLY THE WAY HE LOOK AT ME...!!! It's like his face is saying..."Keep out from my plan you b*tched...." (LOL...) Did I mention his face is like LCLY (lan ci lan yong...lolx) siewlin....better stop gossiping you dumb dumb pig...!!!! -_- I can't help it...!!!! RAWR!!!

I wonder...why guyz can't just give up on Sara when she says she REJECTS them...Zzz...bunch of freakoz...dunno wheather they love her for real or love her becoz of her outer beauty...ZzZ...noobz...!!!

YTU : Bowling

Hmm...chucrh organize a Bowling vent today...so go loh...
*sigh...how annoying that Harry keeps annoying me...somehow he did say sorry but I dunno how to forgive him...I didn't say I did forgive him...I just ignored him at give him one of my look at him...

The place was Bukit Jalil Club or sumthing like that...the place was big...got a lot of other sports stuff like that...(e.g swimming pool, etc.etc)

So...meet back some of my Gospel Camp Forever group friends...ecspecially one of the St.John guy (but we didn't say hi)...dunno why so attracted to him...like I want to dig him out for more information about our Division...lolx...

So me, Yean Lynn, Sara, Jing Yee, Harry and 1 more girl in 1 group....

I forgot to bring my purse...-.-" then this Harry keep insisting to pay for me...ZzZ...okay...he pay for me...but I'm not gonna pay him back coz I didn't ask him to pay for me...I was actually gonna ask Sara to help me pay first...it was RM6

lol...how long I never play bowling liao...quite some time liao...so...first 3 tries pretty suckz badly...but then it keeps improving each try...

Harry kept bugging me on how am I suppose to throw or watever crap...I can't stand him and finally told him off that I can play by myself n he don't need to teach me...
Then I did quite badly....both balls went into the longkang....lolx...

But, heck...in the end I was the winner...79 points...not that bad....but it's still bad...that show him off and make him shut up for the mean time for saying me...make him feel bad for talking about me playin badly...sucker...NOOB!!!

Lol...I did 1 strike...which was pretty lucky...xD...Sara was leading at first...then Jing Yee...then the other girl...but in the end I won....hohoho...I feel so happy to make him take back for his words that sore loser!!!

Yean Lynn was quite moody....like last year...she dunno how to play bowling...so...like that loh...pity her...*sigh...

lol...I even beat Jhow Wei...lolx....@_@

I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
It's hollow inside
I never had your love
And I never will

And every night
I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Like I've always loved you
But how can you love me
Like I loved you when
You can't even look me straight in my eyes

I've never felt this way
To be so in love
To have someone there
Yet feel so alone
Aren't you supposed to be
The one to wipe my tears
The one to say that you'd never leave

The waters calm and still
My reflection is there
I see you holding me
But then you disappear
All that is left of you
Is a memory
On that only, exists in my dreams

I don't know what hurts you
But I can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that I can't do a thing
And deep down in my heart
Somehow I just know
That no matter what
I'll always love you

So why am I still here in the rain...


it hurts me deeply not to talk to you...but I think it's the best for you...

Never felt so much fun with you all...although the boyz are not cooperative...-.-"

Great to be with you all & hope we still can be together next year... =)

Hope we can win the Lagu Patriotik Competition!!! Let's hope for the best and enjoy when we performed...^^

You guyz rockz my world!!! =)

United We Stand!!!

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

*hugz!!! xD

lolx...nothing to say...

not me drive the car pls...-.-

You're THE problem...!!!

YOU MAKE ME SO FREAKING MISERABLE!!!!

It's ALWAYS ABOUT SARA SARA SARA!!!!

BUT HAVE YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOURSELF ?!!!!

HOW TO ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO CHANGE YOU WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN CHANGE YOURSELF YOU FREAKING MORON!!!!

HOW MUCH I CAN'T STAND YOUR ATTITUDE ANY LONGER!!!

NO WONDER MY FRIENDS HATED YOU!!!

YOU WERE BRAIN WASHING ME!!! YOU WANT TO MAKE ME MISERABLE LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE NOW!!!!

*TUT* YOU!!!!

I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!!!!

I DON'T WANNA SOLVE YOUR *TUT* PROBLEMS!!!

YOU'RE A SICKO!!!!

N WHO SAYS IM NOT MATURE!!!

MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS *UCKING STUPID N ANNOYING AND *TUT*

IT'S NOT TAT I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!!

IT'S YOU WHO MAKE ME TREAT YOU LIKE THIS!!!

OH...HOW I WISH YOU WERE READING THIS NOW...IF YOU'RE READING THEN...

GOOD!!! NEVER FEEL SO GREAT TO HATE A PERSON SO POWERFUL IN MY LIFE!!!

My neighbour just passed away last Sunday...

He is an old man...living all alone...with no one to care of...

His name is Jen...I call him Uncle Jen...

He is a nice man...willingly to help people with their problems...ecspecially my mom...

The news just hit me when I woke up at 12noon, Sunday morning...realising that next door was noisy...

I saw a lot of people next door...and a van which the sign says,"Funeral Service".

I held my breath...and pray that this is not happening...

But it already happened...

I was too speechless to say anything...thoughts are running like a endless money counting machine...

Well...I got nothing to say but...

Rest In Peace Uncle Jen...

life is so different when you're not here...

Did I make her feel happy & comfortable in class everyday?
Although we're friends for 4 years...there's always something missing...her smile...
Is she smiling everyday?

I know she doesn't like the class...
& she thinks that the class hates her....
it's her and her stupid negative thinking....

I know how much she wants to be with her other friend next class....

I feel like I'm a useless friend to her....
And when she mention that....that I didn't make her happy in the same class as her....
It breaks my heart....

A failure...from a friendship?....
Why?
I alwayz so quiet everyday...
There seems like I have nothing to talk...
Like what ?!
I feel so...useless...as a friend to her...

What am I suppose to do to make her happy?
Now she's getting sick and weaker each day...
What is happening to her?
What is happening to me?
What is happening TO MY FREAKING LIFE!!!???

Life is a peace of SHIT when you can't solve all your freaking problems....I MEAN IT!!!

Now the problems only doesn't lies on her now....it also lies on other of my FREAKING PROBLEMS!!!

How am I to solve it?...

1. How to make "HER" happy & comfortable in class everyday
2. Forget about the confession part that "SHE" say to me (FARKING PROBLEM)
3. Between me & my "so-called bf" and another "GUY"
4. "HIS" FARKING PROBLEM WHICH KEEPS ME FARKING DAM MISERABLE EVERY FARKING DAY!!!

haizz...feel so good after saying those problems....now...time to solve it....

1. I WILL TRY TO TALK TO HER EVERYDAY!!!!
2. WE'RE FRIENDS!!! NOT LESBIANS!!! (i wish she didn't confess to me about that...)
3. I WILL WAIT FOR HIM!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!! N if "YOU" ever confess to me (sum day 1 day), i will have to say to you...can we know each other more before confessing? But I still like you as a friend
4. fark this farking guy keep bothering me...what is his problem...no...it's not him...probably is HIM AND SARA'S PROBLEM!!!

I feel...like...im on the EVIL side....haizz...have to stop myself from typing all this freaking bad words...I'm already breaking one of the precepts...(is it?)
Haizz...what's with the world...
What's with me?

WHAT IS GOD PLANNING TO DO WITH ME....

I'm suffering...
Either I didn't follow the 5/8 precepts...
What...

When was the last time I become a wise person...
going to temple, pray...attend Sunday school...

Oh...FARKING COMPUTER...U RUINED MY LIFE!!! FARK U FOR LIFE!!!

Love is patient & kind,
Love is not jealous or boastful,
Love is not proud or rude,
Love does not demand its own way,
Love is not irritable or hold grudges,
Love does not support injustice,
Love never gives up,
Love endures through every circumstances.

Just came back from camp...

And also just finish unpacking my stuff, etc, etc...

Aiyah...I lazy to state and remember what I did for the last 3 days and 3 night camp la...

I think it was okay i guess...was in Forever's group, contains 16 members...with Shin Yee and Harry...

Yean Lynn and Mr.Woo...(was is Mr.Hoo or Woo...?lolx...he is a tempo teacher in our school)

...I did like a tiny weeny bit of the camp...but somehow...something makes me dislikes it...

It was probably the discipline in the camp...they should have banned girls from wearing pants/skirts above knee length...arghh...so horrible...so way no discipline...(tatz why I never wear so nice outside...so I won't get raped by dirty guyz~~ :) )

And when they say lights out at 11pm...make sure the committee must patrol THE DORMS (girl/boy) to make sure the lights are off...and wake up call also the same leh...wake them up 1 hour early to let them get dress or watever la...

And if can...try putting morning exercises as well early in the morning after devotion loh...it's even better I guess...I would have love it alot more 10% if they did put morning exercises...

Nah....It wasn't the discipline that make me unhappy...it was probably the friends there...

HOW I HATED THAT SOMEONE AND THAT ANOTHER 2 MORE SOMEONE WHO WAS IN THE CAMP AS WELL...same group also...accept 1...probably...that stops me from enjoying the camp which I'm not suppose to be...

Oh...I was sleeping near the stupid air-cond...on a double deck bed (i was sleeping on top)...Holy Siew Pao!!! Dam *tut* so COLD!!! Woke up several times in the middle of the night coz too cold...I was wearing a jacket sa more...and using a blanket but STILL COLD!!! *tut*

The food was okay I guess...alot of flies flying around everywhere...arghh...dam those *tut* flies...dam dirty that canteen...dam so not hygienic at all...I rather bath in dirty toilets then eating dirty food...(im suppose to be thankful...-.-").

Wai Seh...first time go to camp got AIR-COND WOR!!!

...i wasn't there to enjoy those luxuries & comfort...

I was there to attend the workshop and to listen and understand and know more and...lol...play the activities ?xD

The bathroom and toilet still okay...but got windows open 1 geh!!!-.-" People can see us bathing like that...zzz...but block it loh...at least got a shower, right? Better then bathing with a TOILET HOSE in my Physical St.John Training Camp...lolx...but that camp was way better then PD Camp...absolutely.

The camp was about Life, Love & Sex...interesting topic, right? Sure it was...but lazy to type here...

Workshop...got 7 I think...listen until wan fall asleep jor...some I know already...-.-"

At least I know 1 thing...Premarital sex is sex before marriage...hahahahaahahaha!!...not farni...-.-"

Blah Blah Blah...then our group theme sketch was Adventure...

lol...our sketch is about a couple in search of a "Golden Char Siew Pao" (I created one d...lolx...) to save their friends who is held hostage by pirates...lolx...

After the Talent Night which 3 other teams won....everyone was like talking about that Char Siew Pao...lolx...but...haha...sad...they din notice it represents me...lolx...at least some did...lolx...
my group was like laughing like siao...lolx...the audience same also...i think...

Catch The Flag was fun...but we lose...zzz...2 times sa more....haizz...(Black VS White) {Our team was white...containing 3 groups}

Beach Game was okay...dig until hand dam tired orh...I can't find a single vitagen bottle!!! Argh...but at least we finish in second place...thanks to the girls!!! we Rockz!!! We finish faster then the boys...muahahahha!!! I heard that after the caterpillar, people complaining their butt and hand pain worh...lolx...pain meh?lolx...not really gua...

What else...worshipping is fun, although I'm not a christian but I find it very enjoyable and the song quite nice~x3

The rest dunno loh I guess...

oh...I met 1 boy which I think he was from St.John...he was like walking in front of me then suddenly turned at the back and look at me and say,"You're from St.John right?"

I was like...erh...how he know me? How he know I'm from St.John...lolx...

Then we chatted a little bit before I went to bath...surprisingly...I was still in shocked...through out the whole camp...lol...Arghh....my bad...I forgot to ask for his name, age and his e-mail add...

Ahhh...nvm...

Oh...how he know me again? He say he saw/know me worh...in 2006, I was in Form 2, then I think me & my St.John Division went to the...First Aid Demonstration Dunno dunno wat heck thing la...can't REMEMBER!!! I think there were many other divisions over there as well...aiyah...can't remember la...my stupid brain can't remember anything d...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well...it's good to be home once again...

Yean Lynn mood swings back to action once she on the radio and she was screaming like siao...lolx...

And, me...

my table messy like garbage bin...
my kitten grow so big liao...
my dogs all sniffing my clothes...
my beautiful toilet waiting for me to use NOW!!!
my beautiful bathroom waiting for me to use it LATER!!!
my (not my) grandmother as usual nagging & being grumpy like a peace of crap...
my younger sister as usual chubby and...pampered...
my 2nd sister...still as selfish as before...and stubborn...
and...
my mom...not yet back from work...zzz....-.-"

Okay la...I stopped here for now...later still got stupid sucker tuition...*tut*...-.-" HaizzZ...

Welcome back home Char Siew Pao aka Siew Lin!!! x333

Eh...I realise I didn't have that feeling of wanting to become a christian again...lol...YES!!! I'm STILL A BUDDHIST!!! A STRONG BUDDHIST!!!

I LOVE MYSELF!!!

I AM UNIQUE!!!

ok...im sounding like im sarcastic and stupid...