I stayed awake in bed...

I was the only one in my room...tired from yesterday's staying up so late...

I coul hear my grandmother talking about my mother...
my sister replying my grandmother back with her poorly spoken cantonese...

Mom still not back yet...

I could hear my sister came in to the room and making a call...

It was some thing that I wasn't waiting to hear, as I lie silently in my bed, gripping onto my pillow...

Mom went to Penang last Wednesday, she wasn't feeling well, having fever, but yet she forced herself to go to Penang to settle some lawyer stuff...
She droved in the night...and it made me quite worried...
As I heard Aunty Penny (Sara's mom) told me that it took 7 hours for her to reach Penang...
and that's where, I can't stop being worried about my mom...

I sent her a Get Well Soon message, asking her to come back as soon as her fever subsided...
Her fever has not been subsiding over 3 days...

On the day I came back home, I received a message from my mom.
"Steffi, can u give me you IC number,
im better now
take care"

After reading that, I relaxed a little...
but...
what a f*cking lie it was...

As my sister hang up from the phone and told grandmother some drastic news...
My tears started to leak uncontrobably...

My mom was in hospital...

What did mom deserve to be in hospital!!! What is God planning to do with her!!!
Is life so cruel to be like this?!

I can't stop crying myself in bed...
I never felt so much sadder then anything else...
The tears just keeps on flowing like my eyes were injured...

I could hear my grandmother making a call to my Aunty...
Her voice so loud...as usual...
Saying something about the lorry someone stolen something from the lorry...

WTF is this...
Mom in hospital...
Now robbery?

I cried even harder...now my pillow soaking wet...already out of control...can't control any longer...
I miss her so much...I want her to come home...

I got out from bed, sitting on the bed in the dark, wiping all the tears from my face...
the time now is 11.45am...
I changed into a T-Shirt and stepped out from the room...

I looked at the mirror...
my eyes were red, my nose too were red, unable to breath due to too much of mucus...

Now I'm able to control my tears...

Sitting on the kitchen chair, applying peanut butter onto the bread...
The tears started again...each tears dropped onto the bread...I wiped my tears again...

Crying doesn't help, it just makes you more miserable...I told myself...

Funny...the peanut butter bread still taste good...

What is God planning to do with mom? That's my question.
My question was answered, God has a reason for what He's doing, He wants us to love my mom more.

I just want her to come back home safely...
I haven't give her her birthday present I just bought for her...
I love my mom so much...
Please...

Authors Note : Can everyone take 1 minute to pray for my mom for her recovery soon. I want her to come back home safely. I love her.